Delirium

Chapter 46 - Depression

a/n hiiiii DOUBLE UPDATE!!! (again! oops)

i hope you all enjoy :)

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The start of December rolled in with freezing rain and icy wind, making the castle's warming charms kick into high gear.

The storm had arrived on Thursday, the first of the month. It had only let up slightly by the following day, the castle's charms still radiating heat throughout the corridors as George left his History of Magic lesson with Fred and Lee.

Despite the protective charms, the Beauxbatons students still bundled themselves up in their warmest clothes, shivering theatrically as they sat through mealtimes while the Durmstrang pupils appeared unphased.

Unused to both the cold and the stifling heat permeating throughout the castle, George found himself sweating when he wore his uniform jumper, but freezing if he took it off.

So he was forced to suffer. As if that was anything new.

The reports that Jolie had actually heard of some of the false and cruel things he'd said about her had made George feel sick with himself for the past few days. It had already been a struggle to eat or sleep. Now, though, he wasn't managing to do either.

He supposed he'd had it coming. Deserved it a bit.

She had left him because he'd treated her like an arse, and following the loss, he had only driven her point further home.

The likelihood of her believing that George was actually 'glad' to no longer have her by his side—however crushing it was for him to think about—did aid him in keeping his great bloody mouth shut. He hadn't said anything about her since. In fact, he hadn't said much of anything at all. To anyone.

Lee was concerned for him, he knew. And lately, even Fred seemed to be cautious around him.

But George couldn't think of anything to say.

He couldn't bring himself to lie to his brother and best friend. He wasn't going to claim that he was alright. He wasn't. And, really, he didn't want to tell them anything that he was really thinking. Didn't want to bring down their moods because of his own.

The same ideals stood for his parents, too.

He hadn't written to them since before the First Task. Before the breakup. So, unless Fred had told them, they didn't know about it. And Fred never wrote to them unless George reminded him, so they surely weren't aware.

But even if George wanted to write to his Mum or Dad, he knew he couldn't tell them about Jolie leaving him.

They had adored her, both of them so excited and pleased to finally meet her. He didn't want to face their questions. Couldn't accept their sympathies. As much as they had liked her, they would never be able to understand how much of a loss this was for George.

And if he wrote to them without bringing up Jolie, he couldn't think of anything else he'd want to say. Nothing of any substance came to mind.

He couldn't find a bright side to anything. He couldn't think of any positives.

He just felt cold, and dark, and utterly numb.

So he chose to go about his days blindly, doing what he could just to keep moving. Even as everyone around him seemed sickeningly happy in comparison.

It was no surprise, though. December was always just about everyone's favourite time of the year at Hogwarts. Including George's, up until now.

Because, along with the icy storm, the excitement and gossip of the upcoming annual Yule Ball blew in.