enemy to doctor - the hating game

30 - "you should sleep"

"Hi beautiful." A slow smile spreads over Josh's face and he simply looks-
Beautiful. The sharp lines in his features dissipated to a more relaxed type of look and even the tone of his voice suggests that we share the same feeling.
Relief.
That's what it is, the atmosphere in this room is filled with utter relief.

"Hi." I whisper, realizing that my vocal chords are not doing their job right now.

"You should sleep. It's after midnight and we can postpone-" he pauses for a moment and grins at the change of my facial expression. I know what he is talking about.
The injections.

"Just sleep for now. We'll talk about it tomorrow. I'm going to sit you up now, give you some water and if you want to, I can get you some soup. Then you can go to the bathroom and get ready for bed. But you can also just sleep right away, whatever you want."

I think for a second and decide. "Water and bathroom please." I whisper, realizing that I'm actually still extremely tired but I definitely need to use the bathroom, brush my teeth and drink at least half a liter of water.
Without any further notice, Josh pushes a hand under my back and pushes me up, enough for him to slip out from behind me. He places me back onto the pillows after adding a few more so that I am half laying half sitting.

His hands move to the top of my shirt. "May I?" I immediately nod and he carefully pulls the hospital gown down enough to remove the stickers from my chest. His fingers graze my chest and it almost seems unintentional but his tense shoulders and the bobbing of his throat as he swallows hard, tell him away.
He then proceeds to remove the stickers from my ribcage and finally detaches the IV tubes. My right hand is slowly beginning to hurt again from the new IV and I can see a little portion of discolored skin peeking out from underneath the tape that keeps the cannula in place. Josh notices my worried glance as I lift my hand to look at it and gently grabs ahold of it.

"Does it hurt?"
I nod.

"I see. I'll check it out before you go to bed and maybe I can do something about it. I'd give you the option of giving you a completely new one but I think I know your answer to that offer." He places a gentle kiss on the skin next to the IV and I shudder.
"I will have to remove the old one. It's from almost 4 days ago and that's the max for a cannula of those sorts." He puts my hand back down onto the blanket and leans forward to push one arm under my back and the other one on my nape.

"Come on, let's get you to the bathroom first. We'll figure out about the rest later." As soon as he pulls me up with him I let out a small groan. He only laughs in response.
"Want me to to carry you to the toilet seat?"
Within a matter of seconds I'm standing on my own two feet in some white, uncomfortable, way-too-big slippers that Josh provided me with and am walking towards the bathroom. While having an arm wrapped around my waist and another one steadying my death grip.
Walking feels weird. It's like every step that I take reminds me of all the movement that my legs have to go through from bending my knee over flexing my foot- I have to concentrate on it all in order to make it.
I finish up quickly while Josh thankfully decides to get out of the room and then comes back with a toothbrush and some toothpaste.
I brush my teeth while sitting on a little stool, Josh constantly standing beside me, one hand on my upper back.
I finish relatively quickly, wash my face and even manage to brush my hair a little. After feeling like a road kill, these simple things have a huge impact.
As I finish brushing my hair and place the brush back onto the counter, I look into the mirror.
I'm a mess. The rings under my eyes are near black and the color of my skin has a greyish tone to it.
Josh steps up from behind and plants both hands on my shoulders.

"Let's go now." He gently squeezes my shoulders reassuringly. Then sweeps me up in a quick movement, cradling me against his chest.

"I can walk!" I croak in protest, my voice absolutely raspy but he again only laughs and holds me a little tighter. I groan but secretly enjoy the sound of his heartbeat seeping through his cotton shirt and decide to shut up. With a few long strides Josh places me back onto the bed.
"Can we keep the EKG off?" Its worth a try.

Josh sighs and furrows his eyebrows. Then he surprisingly gives in.
"Fine. But you have to promise me that if you wake up and something-"

I roll my eyes. "I'll immediately wake you up. Yes yes."

"You're not supposed to talk too much or the sedative will wear off faster Lucy. Here, drink this."

He hands me a bottle of water and I thank him with a smile. I drink half of it, then carefully push myself downwards and deeper into the cushions.
I watch Josh as he takes the stethoscope from the table, then props it in.
He moves to sit next to me, one hand hovering above my chest.
"May I?"

I nod and his hand wanders under my shirt. I have gotten used to it by now. The cold feeling of the bell being moved across my chest, Josh's concentrated face and the deep breaths that I force myself to take.
I got to admit, it's on the top 5 list of the things Josh looks the hottest while doing it. The four above include less clothes and a closer proximity.
My thighs clench at the thought of his head between them and I swallow hard when he finally moves his hand away from my chest and lays the stethoscope back onto the little table.

"You need to sleep now. I'll be here the whole entire time so don't hesitate telling me when something is wrong."

"We're staying here?"

Josh nods.

"I'll take you back to your old room tomorrow in the morning. For now it's better if we keep you here." He sits up and leans down to take his shoes off.
Then he sits next to me and leans against the headboard, half laying half sitting. His hand reaches for me and gently pulls me to his side. After a few seconds of hesitation I place my hand onto his chest and wrap an arm around his torso. It feels so damn right.
His hand strokes back my hairs and then he places it on my hip.
His arm is long enough to reach the light switch and a few seconds later it is dark. Immediately my thoughts drift off to everything else we could be doing in the dark and I contemplate moving my hand under his shirt. Just a second before I decide to actually go through with my plan Josh's voice rings through the room.

"Don't. Not now." I groan and try to turn away from him but he keeps me in place.

"Yet."