enemy to doctor - the hating game

35 - another incident

I throw up again. Turns out that after 4 days of barely eating anything substantial, my body does not react well to usual food.

"It's okay, let it all out."

I retch again and my vision becomes completely blurry from the tears that have entered my eyes once again. My upper stomach cramps up painfully and I cry out and push my eyes shut. Oxygen is becoming scarce and black dots enter my vision.

"You have to breathe, Lucy. Please breathe, come on.", Josh slightly shakes me which finally leads to me soaking in a big deep breath. Still, the nausea does not stop. One of Josh' hands holds my hair while the other arm is curled around my torso. He kisses my temple and continues whispering reassuring words.

"I'll give you something against the nausea now, okay? I'll be back in a few seconds."

I sob but he already lays me back down onto the pillows and quickly rushes to the cabinet. Meanwhile, I try to steady my breathing and keep myself from throwing up again but I simply can't.
Josh is still preparing something on the other side of the bed but I can't hold myself back anymore and grab the bowl on the side of the table.
Unfortunately, I don't manage to draw in another breath before starting to gag again and everything starts becoming darker. Black creeps into my vision. I gag and desperately try to draw in a breath but it's like my airways are being held shut. I quickly set the bowl back down, then my hands fly to the sides, trying to find something to grasp onto. But there's nothing except for the table that I immediately push away due to the rolls underneath. I can't hear anything except for the horrible ringing in my head and the blood rushing through it.
And then I fall to the front.
Pain overwhelms me as I hit the side table with my forehead and even though I try to hold myself onto the bed, I fall to the floor. Something cracks and I cannot even scream anymore.
I slump onto the floor just before two hands find their way under my arms. Sharp pain shoots through my right shoulder as it is being moved and slowly I can hear Josh' voice seeping through the dizziness.

"Lucy! How did- Fuck, you're shoulder..."

I sob as he finally manages to lift me back onto the bed but now I can feel the wetness trickling down my face.
Warm blood.

"Shhh, I got you. It's all going to be fine Lucy. Try to breathe please." His voice is urgent as he presses a cloth against my head and I wince in pain. Again, he shakes me, now careful not to touch my right shoulder, and finally my airways allow a tiny amount of air in. He pulls me close and rubs my back, shakes me a little in between. It somehow helps me and we remain in the same position for what feels like hours. The pain though does not subside which leaves me drenching Josh' chest region with tears.

"My shoulder-", I manage in between the sobs.

"It's out. I have to put it back in, love."

Panic rises and consumes my every limb.

"Josh, please.", I look at him through the curtain of tears as he gently but firmly places both hands on my sides. Then he motions me into sitting up and finally lays both hands onto my shoulders.

"I'm just checking. Not doing anything, I promise."

Gently he pushes my sleeve up and over my right shoulder. His fingers gingerly drift over the aching joints and I hiss at the occasional pain. I feel fresh blood dribbling down my temple and onto my neck. Swiftly Josh grabs a tissue from the side table and dabs the blood off.
Panic and bile rise in my throat.

"Do I need stitches?" My fear finally breaks free.

"I don't know. I need to take care of your shoulder first. And if you do, I promise you won't feel anything. You're all good, love. Just take a few breaths for me. I'll put it back in place as fast as possible."