Tell Me Without Telling Me || Sope

Chapter Forty-Four

The following day he lets Yoongi and Namjoon pamper him—Yoongi with offers of food and blankets, Namjoon with long, random talks about the universe and offers to read books aloud, both asking how he's feeling after everything—and he doesn't let himself clam up. He allows himself, however haltingly, to admit that as much as he hates that they worry about him, feel obligated to see if he's okay, he also loves how special it makes him feel.

His call with seokjin goes surprisingly well, with a brief appearance from Jungkook before he leaves to go on a run, despite Hoseok's doubts minutes before the call that something might come up to prevent Seokjin from answering. They talk for two hours, Seokjin dropping intermittently from being dramatic and frustrating in the extreme to sounding almost normal at times. They talk about Hoseok's work, Seokjin's—Seokjin has been working for the past year as a part-time waiter, after he rather dramatically quit his part-time job working as a waiter at a different cafe. Apparently he's considering quitting this one too, although god only knows how he'll manage without any money coming in. He supposes he might have to actually put in some effort at wherever he gets hired next, either that or be out on the streets. Wouldn't that be something? Out on the streets in a foreign country. Hoseok attempts several times to tell Seokjin more stories about Yoongi and the others, but gives up after awhile and just listens to Seokjin happily—Seokjin is in a very interrupting mood today, but an excitable happy one, too enthusiastic to stay quiet long enough for Hoseok to say a whole lot. He chatters about this and that, inconsequential little things, asks Hoseok for book recommendations that they both know he'll never read, listens while Hoseok tells him about some of the books he's read recently.

The call ends after a lengthy ramble from Seokjin about some party he's been invited to by Jaemin and how it would be really helpful if Hoseok convinced Jungkook to go with him because Seokjin hates walking home alone in the dark after parties and it always ends up happening because, you see, Jaemin has a habit of disappearing and not turning up until two days later.

"I'll talk to him," Hoseok promises warmly, already texting Jungkook a commanding little, 'go to the party. Seokjin-hyung's scared of the dark.'

"Good, good, you do that," Seokjin says. "He's so unsociable recently. All he does is spend time with his girlfriend or do homework. Anyway, I'd better go—the weather's pretty good over there today, isn't it? If you go outside you should wear suncream."

"Hyung, it's five in the evening."

"You can never be too careful."

"Bye."

"Yeah, bye. I'll call again soon. Hopefully next week sometime."

"Okay. That sounds good."

"Bye."

"Bye, hyung."

 He spends the rest of the evening downstairs with Yoongi, laughing and letting his heart pound with a feeling he still can't voice, but that he thinks, for now at least, he feels okay keeping to himself. It doesn't feel realised, formulated. The doubt nags in the back of his mind about sexual attraction, kissing, love—all the same thing, but somehow broken in places inside of him where they shouldn't be. But he doesn't have to think about any of it right now. He's giving himself a well deserved break.

He's drinking during dinner, getting tipsy while Jimin and Tae talk animatedly about going out to the gay club next weekend. He's listening to Yoongi's halting, low voice while they lay in separate beds, the soft mispronunciation of larger words worse than usual because Yoongi's drunk quite a bit. 

They're giggling as Yoongi puts the book down with a groan after failing to read the word 'soliloquy' five times. "It's not me. It's the book."

"Sure, sure," Hoseok chuckles. "Totally not your dyslexia or anything."