Tell Me Without Telling Me || Sope

Chapter Two

He's sitting on a bench even though it's too cold to eat lunch outside this time of year. It's just where he's always sat and he doesn't want to go find somewhere different and warmer, so he's out here like always.

The man standing before him smiles and holds out a piece of brightly coloured paper. His hair is long and dark and soft-looking, framing his gentle face. His eyes are kind.

"There's a Christmas party tonight," he says, words a tad awkward. "If you're interested, anyone is welcome. Bring your friends and a small contribution—alcohol," he adds, when Hoseok blinks stupidly. "The time and the address are on there. So... yeah... maybe see you there..." He lifts a hand in a tiny wave.

Hoseok watches him walk away through the crowd, pausing here and there to hand out more brightly coloured pieces of paper. 

He looks down at the one he's been handed. It's a flyer that looks like something his stoner roommate would design.

'End of year Christmas party' is printed in large comic sans capital letters at the top. The bottom has an address and the aforementioned "bring a contribution" in much smaller comic sans.

He isn't sure what makes him decide he's going to go. The man's smile. The fact he's the first person besides the professors to speak to Hoseok in what feels like forever. The fact he can get drunk at the party. Might actually meet people. Or just because he's bored. But after the last lecture of the day, Hoseok goes into town and buys a bottle of vodka, then he goes back to the dorm, showers and changes his clothes. The flyer-man had said nothing about a dress code and this is a party thrown by university students so he doubts it really matters what he wears. Still, he kind of wants to look... nice. Approachable. Something. But even in his best clothes, he still manages to look drab and grey.

He takes a selfie and sends it to Seokjin and Jungkook. At least this time when he says he's going out, it's true.

The address on the flyer takes him to a house a little ways off campus. He can hear the music before he's even gotten to the door. People litter the lawn despite the chill, talking and laughing in little groups.

He ducks his head instinctively as he passes them, making himself small. Being perceived by anyone, especially as he's tried to put effort into the way he looks tonight, is suddenly daunting. He isn't sure he even wants to be here anymore. He just wants to go back to the dorm and get some sleep.

When he reaches the door, he stops. It's closed and the music inside is so loud he's sure no one will hear it if he knocks, but it feels rude to just let himself inside without knocking. But if he's not supposed to knock, he'll look stupid trying. But if he doesn't knock and he's supposed to, then people will think he's weird. If they even notice him. Surely it's hard not to notice someone coming into your house without permission, though.

He wants to go back to the dorms. Why did he come out? He can't even decide on something so simple as knocking on a door. This is all so pathetic. What is he doing here? No one's going to talk to him. He'll spend the night alone and miserable in a corner. There's no point even trying. He was stupid to bother coming out.

The door opens before he can turn away, someone intent on leaving. They back up when they see him, holding the door. So in he goes because now it feels weird if he just turns and walks off when the person holding the door is looking at him expectantly.

Music eclipses all his thought momentarily, deafening him. It's sort of a relief because it distracts him from panicking and the song playing reminds him of Jungkook and Seokjin blaring their music and dancing around the apartment.

The room is packed with people, the smell of alcohol in the warm air. It's all a little suffocating, bowling over his senses as he edges round the room. It feels weird going into the kitchen, but that's where the drinks are kept and where he needs to leave his contribution. It's quieter in here. There's only a couple of people.