𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎

21

amari amour williams

i hesitated to walk in her room. i dont know how to apologize. i know what i said hurt her. i might just say fuck it and break out into a song.

i opened her door to see her on her bed just laying down and looking at her ceiling. she didn't even address me when i walked in. i didn't expect her to either.

"kahmyla?" i questioned. she didn't turn or make any movement. she didn't answer either. i must've really hurt her with that. she was waiting to be my girlfriend and i said that shit.

"i'm really sorry i didn't mean anything i said. i really like you and maybe i am scared of commitment. im also scared of fucking up and losing you" i said while biting my lip

"i just got upset and let hurtful shit fly out of my mouth. i know that's not acceptable but i really didn't mean it. i'm scared of commitment but i really want to commit to you"

"you don't have to accept my apology or nothing but im really sor-" i sighed while getting cut off. she jumped on me and squeezed me tight. i have to get used to her doing that.

i hugged her back and lowered my hands to her waist. "i forgive you but never do that again" she said while squeezing me tighter. "i won't forgive you next time".

i sighed and nodded my head quickly. "i'm really sorry" i said again.

"it's okay"

aaliyah & sapphire busted in the room looking like they were ready to fight. "oh i guess they made up" sapphire spat out while calming down.

kahmyla was just examining my face. " what happened to your face!" she said while screaming. she was touching the little scratches.

"we beat her ass!" aaliyah & sapphire said collectively while fist bumping each other.

kahmylas face dropped. "why?"

"cause she hurt your feelings. you know we don't play about you" aaliyah said while flipping me off. i didn't say anything and just let them go off on me. i deserved it.

"come here baby" kahmyla said while grabbing my face and kissing my scratches. i smiled at her while she did so.

"yuck i'm getting the fuck out of here" sapphire said while aaliyah followed behind.

"i'm sorry they did that to you" kahmyla said while rubbing on the scratches on my face. she's so touchy.

"it's okay i deserved it"

"next time i'll be the one beating you up though" kahmyla said while laughing in my face and pushing herself off me.

"there won't be no next time. i won't ever yell at you or say nothing like that again"

kahmyla nodded her head while going in to her bathroom. "i need to pee" she said while getting up. i don't know why she announced it. "come on!"

"come on where?" i said scrunching my face up. didn't she just say she needed to pee?

"to the bathroom with me so i could pee?" kahmyla smartly remarked. i looked at her like she was crazy.

"what business i got in there?" i asked while being dragged to the bathroom. she sat down and pulled her pants down. i covered my eyes.

i was hearing her pee. she stopped and she was grabbing toilet paper while still holding my hand. "am i supposed to wipe your ass as well?" i questioned while being funny.

"do you want to?" she asked.

"kahmyla.."

she cackled very loudly while wiping. " i was just joking!" she yelled. i stood there awkwardly waiting for her to stop. she was done and washed her hands.

"yesterday my mom was on the phone with my grandma" she said. i nodded while waiting for her to continue.

"she was yelling at my grandma. i guess she was yelling at her for calling me weird. my grandma always make me feel different for others just because of my autism" kahmyla sighed. i pulled her closer.

"she would always call me weird or pick at certain things i would do. one time i was tugging at my hair while she was yelling at me and she took a pair of scissors and cut my hair" kahmyla said while getting emotional. i hugged her her tighter.

"i never told my mom because i didn't want her to have any problems with my grandma. she made me feel so much different from others and i hated it. she made me feel like some weirdo" kahmyla continued to explain while hiccuping.

"i still suffer with that feeling. do you think im weird?" kahmyla asked while tugging on her hair. i moved her hands down.

"i don't think you are weird. you don't always wanna be the same as others. it's great to be different and everyone is different in their own ways" i said while wiping her face.

"you having autism doesn't make you weird kahmyla so don't think that" i sighed. kahmyla hugged me and smiled.

"i appreciate you for accepting me & being here for me" kahmyla said while shyly looking away. i grabbed her face and kissed her cheek.

"don't thank me. i love being here for you & i just love talking to you" i said while hugging her tight.

i should ask her to be my girlfriend? i want to make this moment special though. maybe i should surprise her with a huge poster with me asking.

my thoughts were interrupted when kahmyla was silently snoring on me. i laid down and she laid on top of me.

i am ready for a relationship.