PROMISES // Stepbrothers // Yeji Hwang x BTS

<Chapter 28>

Yeji

"Come in", I looked up to see Rosé opening my door with a tray in her hands. She walked up to me and placed a bowl of soup and a bar of chocolate on my nightstand.

"Jin said I shouldn't give you sweets, but Yuna told me that you love chocolate, so I brought you some.", she grinned and sat down next to me on my bed.

"Thank you", I softly smiled, grateful that none of my brothers came to meet me.

I slowly took the bowl with the spoon and started to eat it. Rosé insisted on staying until I ate the whole thing, so I wouldn't pour it into the toilet. It was kinda weird of her to say something like that, unless she knew about my eating habit, which she didn't, right?

"I know that you have an eating disorder", I chocked on my soup, hearing Rosé say that sentence out loud.

"What?", I tried to sound as surprised as I could, which I really was, because I didn't think that she would talk about that.

"You are always poking your food and never finishing it. I've already noticed when we were eating in that restaurant after the competition, but I didn't want to ruin the mood. So I asked Lia. I might have jumped out of conclusion but I was right."

I kept my head low, embarrassed that she found out about my biggest flaw. It was predictable that somebody would find out someday. I just hoped that I could've fixed it before that day would arrive, but I guess it was already too late for that.

"Lia said the same. She told me that you never talked about it, but she noticed how you ate less than before and even lost weight.", Rosé took my hand in hers and looked at me.

"You don't have to talk about it, but please let me help you fix it. I'm worried about you and your health. How will you shine on stage if you're sick?"

I nodded understanding her, trying to hold back the tears, which started to well up. She was right. I had to be more serious about my health, especially because of the offer we got from JYP, which I wanted to accept at all costs, even if I had to fight my brothers. This might sound ridiculous to others, but it's been my dream since kindergarten and I've known the girls way longer than my brothers. Yes, I loved them but if they wouldn't support or at least accept my decision, were they even good brothers?

"Please don't tell it the others, especially my brothers. I don't want them to know", I looked up to her.

"I won't tell anyone, don't worry. But you have to promise that we'll try to fix it together, okay?", she softly spoke, spotting the tears in my eyes, which threatened to fall.

"Pinky promise?", I held out my pinky for her to accept it.

"Pinky promise!", she softly chuckled while completing the pinky promise.

"Thank you", I engulfed her in a soft hug.

"No worries. Can I feed you now?", she asked excitedly.

I chuckled and nodded, which made her grab the spoon and bowl and start feeding me like a baby.

A knock on my door could be heard as soon as I finished the whole soup. The door was opened and Jisoo walked into my room, smiling softly.

"Are you feeling better?"

I nodded as an answer to the elder's question. Although I've only known her for a few hours, I already felt safe in her presence. She made me feel warm and loved even if it was just a soft smile.

"Do you want to talk about it with your brothers? They're annoying me the whole time and asking when they can finally talk with you again.", she softly chuckled and sat down on the bed next to Rosé.

I sighed, knowing that it was a necessary thing to do, but I really didn't want to face my brothers right now. They were really scaring me with that action in the cafeteria, where they showed how much power they really had. No one dared to stop them, even if they had killed Jay back there. That was the first time that I was grateful for my panic attacks. I couldn't live with knowing that my brothers killed people, even if they weren't innocent. Nobody deserved to decide who gets to live and who not.

"Don't be scared of them. They would never intentionally harm you. This is just their way of protecting you, although it's a really stupid way but never mind", Rosé rolled her eyes, thinking about the times, where she was in a similar situation, in which Yeji was right now.

"We'll be there with you if you need help expressing yourself", Jisoo smiled at me.

I nodded and stood up, following them out of my room. Fortunately, my foot didn't hurt that much anymore, making it easier for me to walk down the stairs. I grew more nervous with every step I took. Knowing that I didn't have to be scared of them, I tried my best to calm myself down, which didn't work very well.

They would never physically hurt me and I was aware of that, but when I saw them beating J3 so mercilessly, I felt hurt. I didn't know why it affected me so much, but they promised to not hurt me anymore, which they obviously didn't do intentionally, but knowing my way of dealing with violence, they could've acted differently to solve the problem.

I sat down on the big couch, BTS being already seated, heads kept low. Rosé and Jisoo sat on either side of mine to support me emotionally, if I needed it. I just stared at the ground for a few seconds, not knowing how to start the conversation, before Jungkook called out to me.

"I'm sorry Yeji. I shouldn't have beaten Jay, when I knew how you would react to violence. I was just angry, seeing him harass you like that and wanted to let out my anger on him. I'll try to act differently in the future."

"We're sorry too. We were so focused on punishing him for doing that to you, that we forgot about your panic attacks. We'll also try to act different in the future.", Jimin, Taehyung and Yoongi added.

"It's okay", I tried my best to smile.

It was not okay. I was not okay. I wanted to shout out how hurt I felt, when they chose to take revenge instead of helping me. How the others stood there, watching Jimin, Jungkook, Taehyung and Yoongi beating the shit out of J3, not even taking one glance at me, to see if I was alright.

I wanted to let the tears fall, making them see how much I struggled to tell them the idol thing, how often I cried myself to sleep, not knowing how they would react if I told them about it and how often I skipped meals, thinking it would help me to release stress, but instead only making everything worse.

I wanted to tell them how I struggled to overcome my fear of him. How I tried my best to block the memories out and how they always came back when I was at my worst.

But instead I chose to ran away from my problems like I always did, deciding it was for the best, which it wasn't. I had to tell them one day. And that day would come sooner than I thought.

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