No Saints Here | 18+

CH 55 You Should Go

"Then I'll commute in, or find a place in the city." I rushed out. 

Watching his eyes closed before he suck in a deep breath. "I can't have you follow me Alex..." his eyes opened, "I can't have you live your life by following the man, who once was your teacher."

"Christ." She mumbled, before turning away. 

"Alex, what are we doing here?" He asked, grasping my hands. "This isn't a game anymore, this is different, you're supposed to be starting the next chapter of your life and you expect to do that with someone like me?"

"Was this all I was to you?" She asked looking at me with fury in her eyes. "Some fling, you can send off the second I graduate?"

"You were never a fling Alex." His voice broke between words, grasping my hands tighter, as I tried to pull away. "You were never meant to be someone I could have."

"Who are you to decide that for the both of us?" My voice broke now. "Is this truly what you want? For us to never see each other again?" I pulled away, and walked away from him. Turning my back to the man, as I tried to calm my breath. "I can't do that." I bit out.

"Alex, are you hearing me?" He asked, as I heard his footsteps get closer. "This is about what is best for you."

"Fuck if I hear that one more time from your mouth, I'll scream."

"I know..." his voice broke. "I know how hard this is."

"Do you?" I asked, turning around. "Do you Christian?" I grounded out. "Because for once in my life, I did something I actually wanted to do. I started to feel things I've never felt before with anyone else. At night I long for your touch, in the day I feel absent without you by my side. We were on the same page and now we're not?"

"Did you ever think we had a chance?" He asked, his eyes started to water. Making mine tear up in return.

"I know we have a chance." I rushed out. "Christian, I can't— I mean— fuck." I rushed out, placing both hands on my head. "I love you." I heard myself say, when his eyes shot up from the ground.

"Don't say that Alexandra." He said softly, as my full name rolled off his tongue. 

"Everything between us has been real to me, I want to continue what we have." I rushed out again, walking towards him, and grabbing his hands this time. "I..." I looked into his eyes intently, watching as water started to well in them. "I am in love with you, and I know you feel that way to." 

"This isn't right." He said softly, pulling his hands away. 

"A week ago we were fine." I raised my voice. "Until your aunt came into town and started to tell you things about all these colleges."

"She was telling me the truth, unlike you."

"Are you serious?" I crossed my arms. "I didn't tell you, because I am not going, Christian." I wiped a tear off my face. "This is about what I want. I don't want to be shipped off somewhere, I don't want what we have to be forced off us. I want to see us try. I don't want you to give up."

"Look at us on paper." He bit out this time. "The age gap, how we met, how we got together. Nothing about this is normal. If  we were to explain anything about us, it would be looked down upon. You deserve someone else who you can actually walk around with in public."

"That what you care about?" I asked. "Other people's opinions of us?" I asked, feeling tears run down my face. Quickly, i closed the distance between us, and grasped the sides of his face. Feeling the stubble on his jaw line. "Don't give up." I pleaded, "Please..." my voice broke. "Please don't give up on me, please don't give up one us." I started to cry, as his face remained plain, only letting a single tear fall from his eye. "I love you Christian Cole." I leaned in and kissed his lips. Feeling nothing in return. "Please." I begged. "Nothing my life has ever felt easy, until I met you... You complete me." I kissed him again, as I felt his hands touch the sides of my rib cage. "I chose my path before I met you, you just happened to go with my life perfectly." I rested my head on his firm chest. Crying like i did when I was a little girl. Feeling his hands stay cold and frozen on me. I grasped his shirt and felt my tears fall against the fabric. "Christian." I pleaded. When his hands pushed me away, and his gaze fell behind me.