mha sick fics (angst)

the second day of sickmas: tododeku PTSD

(Todoroki has a panic attack when someone starts yelling on Christmas. Deku helps him out of it, probably gonna be short and sweet)

Backstory that I don't feel like working into the story bc it takes you out of the story easily: Todoroki + Izuku are dating but they keep it a secret even tho it's not extremely subtle.

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Christmas in the dorms was a brand new experience for everyone, because of a recent villain attack, no one felt safe sending the students home. All winter break they had been caged up, the roads to slick to drive on, and the world too dangerous to currently venture into.

They'd made snow angels, igloos, snowmen, had snowball fights, made various snow forts, played every single board game in the cupboard, played spoons and BS and so many games of solitaire and they were all bored. Bakugo had started fighting with people for fun, Kirishima thought it was hilarious, and Aizawa was sick and tired of it.

The holidays weren't a great time for everyone though. Todoroki always struggled around Christmas time, he didn't feel homesick, but he missed his siblings and the silly traditions they always engaged in to stay behind their dad's abuse and neglect. He would never connect with others the way he connected with his siblings. So when Christmas morning came, Todoroki had already been up crying that night missing his brother and sister, and his face was all red and puffy in the morning.

Izuku Midoriya, the stereotypical bundle of sunshine that managed to worm his way into Todoroki's daily life, of course picked up on his distress, and made a cup of hot chocolate for him that morning with extra marshmallows, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, chocolate flake sprinkles, and a candy cane stirrer. Exactly the way Todoroki liked it.

The green haired boy carried it to the table and sat down, pushing it towards Todoroki quietly and reaching down to softly squeeze his hand before eating his own breakfast.

Izuku was wearing an All Might Christmas T-shirt, and silly Christmas pajamas pants with no socks, only his favorite all might slippers. He was shivering in the cold downstairs, but also swinging his legs underneath his chair as he ate, ancy to open presents and experience the day.

Todoroki was wearing plain pajamas, just sweatpants and a Charlie Brown Christmas shirt, gifted to him by his brother, and a long black cardigan. He slid it off carefully and placed it over Izuku's shoulders, leaning forward and hugging him mid-bite, silently showing his appreciation for his boyfriend's kind acts.

Izuku placed a soft, very subtle kiss on his cheek and felt Todoroki's lips curl up before they pulled away like nothing had happened and Todoroki sat back down to finish his breakfast, his boyfriend not being subtle at all about not staring at his visible muscles under the slightly small Tshirt.

Todoroki kicked him under the table softly, not looking away from his food and Izuku nearly snorted with laughter, covering his face so the orange juice he'd been drinking didn't come spraying out of his nose.

When everyone finished eating, they gathered round the Christmas tree, sprawling out on couches or sitting on the floor, taking their present from under the tree and beginning to open them. Todoroki and Midoriya grabbed their few and opened, Todoroki blushing quietly when Midoriya gifted him a free make out session card that could be used at any time, as many times as he wanted. He slipped it in his pocket with a grin, ready to use it later.

As they rounded up their presents, Bakugo started yelling about something. Shouting actually.

He was angry, and so was someone else. Cabin fever was really getting to everyone, tired of being so near people all the time, no one really being able to fully recharge their social batteries. Soon a full on yelling match had broken out.

Todoroki first just thought he was startled by the yelling as his heart started racing, beating faster and faster by the second, but soon his breathing was too shallow and he felt sweaty and sick and he couldn't breathe and he sorta got up and left the room without saying anything, horrid memories flashing over his vision.

He made a weird choking sound as he held back an involuntary sob, tears overflowing from his eyes, and left the common room.

Midoriya was following close behind, following Shoto around the corner where he suddenly slid down the wall and buried his head in knees, his back rising and falling unevenly as he hyperventilated.

Todoroki didn't usually have violent panic attacks, they tended to come and go with a rush of bad memories and physical symptoms that were manageable, but this was worse than that. Much worse.

Todoroki felt completely detached from the ground, like he was floating and that only made him panic more as he felt the phantom sting of the beatings he used to take from his dad. He let out a small yell, unable to remove his reality from his trauma.

But a voice broke through.

"Shoto, I'm here. It's ok. Focus on your breathing, not your thoughts." Izuku said, kneeling down in front of him, "you're in the UA forms with your boyfriend, you're safe." He said softly.

"I c-can't breathe." He stuttered, removing his head from he knees and instead putting his head back into the wall, leaning back and trying to ground himself.

"It's ok, try to take deeper breaths." Izuku said, listening to the way his boyfriend's lungs couldn't decide what capacity of air to inhale or exhale.

Todoroki didn't look well at all as he tried to control his lungs, but it was useless, "I can't feel my fingers." He said, leaning his head back and closing his eyes, trying to block out his surroundings and lessen everything that overwhelmed him. He felt nauseous, which was only making him panic more.

Izuku knew he couldn't pull his boyfriend out of this when he hiccuped awkwardly, then stuck a hand under his chin. Todoroki immediately tried to get up, but stumbled forward in his dizziness, not having enough air to fuel his brain.

"Hey, deep breaths. Deeper breaths." Izuku tried, suddenly supporting Todoroki as he dragged himself towards the bathroom.

"Ohmygodimgonnathrowup." Todoroki wheezed, trying not to gag again. His whole world was spinning as he suddenly dry heaved, the memories of throwing up in front of his dad resurfacing.

"Shoto, focus on me. Focus on me, it's gonna be alright." Izuku said, and finally it seemed to work a little, until he gagged again and Izuku helped situate his boyfriend over the toilet.

"Okay, hey, deep breaths. Deep breaths. It's quiet in here, nice and quiet." He said, rubbing his back as he finally cought his breath and his tears ceased.

"Ok." Todoroki whispered, finally having a control on his lungs, gripping his chest, his eyes blown wide open in panic and shock, "ok." He repeated.

"You're okay, it's safe here." Izuku said as Todoroki leaned back away from the toilet, feeling better, taking long, deep, shaking breaths.

Izuku reached and ran his fingers through Todoroki's hair, soothing him as he recovered from the worst panic attack he'd had in a long long time. Gently, he placed a soft kiss on his cheek, "you're okay."

Slowly Todoroki turned towards him until they were facing each other on the stall floor, Izuku reached forward and cupped the boy's face in his hands, carefully wiping away his tears with his thumbs.

Todoroki leaned forward, pushing Izuku up against the stall door, and kissed him softly. Izuku kissed back, smiling a little, happy that this was the conclusion of the panic attack rather than his boyfriend secluding himself and wallowing in the dark of his room for a few hours.

A second later, Izuku felt a tap of something cool on his forehead and opened his eyes, disconnected with Todoroki.

He was smiling slyly, holding Izuku's free makeout sesh anywhere anytime card Christmas present between his two fingers.

Izuku sat up, grinning ear to ear "ok, anywhere but the bathroom floor this is nasty."

Todoroki laughed and helped him up, his hands still slightly shaky, "alright."

And then they were off to enjoy their Christmas day, safe from the antics of class 1A.