Twisted Love

eighteen

Anastasia Mason

THE HEATER is on but here I am shivering under the visorless glower of Alex. I was already scrupled enough when I saw the dress. It is the most elegant and immaculate fabric I have ever wrapped around my body. Everything about this dress is dreamy.  The way the threads grazed against my skin makes me feel like I was wearing clouds, the smell was enough to spin my head and close my eyes in bliss.

But it's too much.

I have enough self-esteem to call my face, beautiful. I get compliments a lot for my straight nose with plummy lips and jaw line. But I know my limits. Because, there is always a limit. People have different perceptions. How they find things beautiful or how they feel about certain people. We are powerless when we are under the mercy of our own perception.

Alex's words kinda nicked my heart a little when he said, he couldn't let me look bad in front of Paris. I know I am nothing beside the shiny world of Paris. Her everything shimmers like diamond while mine looks like everything is born out of darkness in a gloomy and cloudy rainy day.

A part of my heart was saying, he wanted me to look good and presentable but another part was saying he just hates me.

But here I am standing in front of him, wearing his chosen dress, as the chaos of silent war is wielding inside me, coiling my stomach and making me light on my feet. The joy of being the owner of a job has vanished now. The ecstatic rocking moment is melted, replacing a vacillation of sentiments in me. I didn’t even feel the overwhelming rush of my joy from today, when abruptly Alex showed up just to correct his assumption. Instead of that, the canton of my heart was filled with the sentiments for Alex.

I should write down the date today. With the ink of my imaginable gold ink in the walls of my life where other memories are written. Today was a good day.

I thought tonight I am going to spend happily with my lost smile that I stole for a succinct trice from my darkness. Today was going to be the last day of my painful time of being scared of spending a penny on my necessary goods. And Alex showed up unannounced. When I saw him standing in front of the door, in a weird motion the wind changed, raising the level of my happiness.

This happiness doesn't have any fathom nor does it have an ending. Though it has a beginning which commences with Alex. And that drives me crazy which is so loud in my head that, it wants to make me scream at the top of my lungs.

I knew he was going to be rude for no reason and I was ready for that. But tonight he was awfully calm, most of the time, not all the time though.

My throat dried when I watched Alex's eyes roaming all over my body. Inch by inch he was drinking me with his eyes. Out of habit, I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and shifted a little on my feet when Alex said nothing just inarticulately staring at me as if he couldn't stop himself.

"I think....." I was cut out instantly when, Alex abruptly stood on his feet, making my heart slam against my chest. My wide eyes are pinned in him as he languidly commences taking lazy steps towards me like a python is getting ready to rip its prey.

I could smell his intoxicating but rich, overwhelming but soothing cologne far from where I was standing. He closed the gap between us. Thousands of explicit and vivid flashes hit my hormones, sending me to a universe where I can only get excess and that fills with me and Alex molding in a bed.