Soul Tied - Book One ✔️

Chapter Twenty-Six: The Aftermath

I hug my knees to me hunch my shoulders and tuck in my chin. I can feel my eyes are wide staring off into the distance and I rock myself back and forth. I feel stunned. I can feel my breathing erratic. I think I'm having a panic attack. It's hard to breathe. I feel like I'm drowning. All at the same time. I keep taking small gasps of air like I'm a fish out of water.

Asmodeus kneels down right next to me. He whispers in my ear. "Xirasti." He says trying to get my attention. I don't register that he's even there. His voice feels far away. "Xirasti." He tries again. I can't find it in me to listen. I don't want to. I can't. 

"Xirasti," Sam tries this time. I freeze in place. Sam tries coming over to me. He goes to place a hand on my shoulder but I toss it away and jump to my feet. 

"Don't fucking touch me," I say to Sam my eyes full of extreme anger.

"I don't know what was happening but her Vlusary was you Luficer." I hear Belphegor trying to be discreet but I heard him anyway. I'm not looking at Sam so I don't know his reaction.

"Hey, hey," Asmodeus says bringing me to his chest. He pats my back. Then I broke down crying into his shirt. "Xirasti it's okay." He says soft and calm. I never cry. Not even when I broke my arm the first day I met Sam. Since it feels so new and raw I cry more. Asmodeus starts kissing my head over and over again. I'm sobbing and it's like I can't stop myself. I hug Asmodeus so close to me that I'm sure he can't even breathe.

"I wish you never went in there," Asmodeus says his voice cracking.

"Going in there was a good thing," I mumble. "It showed me the truth." I sniff. "I'm glad I went in there." I feel myself forming a large wall around me.

It's true. Sam will never caress me. He will leave me in the dark. He will never tell me he loves me. If he even knows what love is. In the end, it was all fake.

"I hate him," I whisper to Asmodeus crying my eyes out. He just holds me and rubs my back.

Then I'm teleported to Sam's room with no Asmodeus in sight. Immediately I head right for the shower and sit in there for about an hour curled up with the shower running over me. I grab a big T-shirt throw it on get into bed and throw the sheet over my head. Then I roll into a ball. I barely breathe and I don't make a sound. Sam doesn't move either. I hope sleep comes for me soon. I'm just too upset. I put on magical cuffs around the headboard to make sure I don't roll towards him in my sleep.

As quickly as I fell asleep. I have a nightmare.

Sam is in his demon form. Eyes bright white looking straight into my eyes.

"You were so easily led. You were alone and craving company and affection so badly. It was just a simple use of the right words."

I can feel myself trembling.

"All those moments you thought were special I couldn't stand. I hate the idea of you touching me or being that close to me. I knew every trite thing you thought. Every simplistic boring one. It was basically as easy as breathing to get you to release me. I have to give it to you though you're very loyal. You keep letting me use you even though you know in your heart this is the truth. That there is no Sam only Lucifer."

I feel like I'm going to be sick.

"There's no longer any use for you. I'll give you mercy and give you one last hug."

He walks towards me and puts his wings around me like I always wished he would. He holds me tight and snaps my neck. Then I wake up screaming.

My body and wrists snap back because of the magical cuffs. I feel the bed move and Sam is looking over me. "No. No." I twist my body to get as far away from him as possible. He stops and watches me like I'm a wild animal who's been trapped.