Not Perfect Enough

Chapter 28

I wonder what she did to Anais to have her single her out from the crowd.

Since there's nothing else for me to do, I resign to my spot on the bleacher bench. Several thoughts begin to scale through my mind. What am I going to do on Thursday? Do I attend the match or do I bail and skip town? The second option seems like the best choice at this point but if I do that, I'll have to deal with him.

As well as Johnny who might throw a hissy fit about me running away without informing him and how ungrateful I am for his benevolence. There are so many things for me to do but not enough willpower and courage to do them.

I grab my hair and growl out in frustration.

"Eh, eh. If you know you want to behave like a dog, better do it in a place where I can't see you." I hear someone say. I lift my head to see Anais standing over me with her arms crossed.

"I—"

She raises a hand to stop me. "I didn't ask for an explanation, loser."

I clamp my mouth shut after that. She always knows how to hit where it hurts the most. But I can't just let her believe that I'm still . . .

"About Friday—"

"I thought I told you that I didn't want an explanation," she hisses.

I stand up from the bench and take a step forward. "I'm not back to that life. I swear that I've left it. Anais, you have to believe me."

She sighs through her mouth. "I saw the money. Do you want to tell me that the money inside that bag is the salary that Principal Zion pays you?"

"It may not seem like it, but I got that money fair and square," I defend myself.

Anais scoffs. "Let me guess. From a fair and square fight, right?"

I grimace. This girl might know me even better than I know myself.

"The look on your face tells me that I'm absolutely correct to assume that you've gone back to your old ways," Anais shakes her head. "Aren't you tired of living such a life? How many years have passed? You still haven't achieved anything worthwhile. Aren't you ashamed of yourself?"

I bite my bottom lip as I listen to the teenager nag me. I can't even deny her claims because they are not wrong. So many years of drifting and I still have nothing to my name. The same name I gave to myself years ago when I decided that I could make it in this world on my own.

What a fool I was. I wish I could go back in time to slap my younger self on the head. So many times I find myself regretting my past decisions. Other times, I give myself a pat on the back for taking the risk and leaping forward.

Though my life right now might seem like trash, the one I would be living instead if I hadn't taken the risk, would be terrible beyond comparison.

"I've tried, Anais. Believe me, I've tried. But there's nothing else I can do. I don't know anything other than fighting," my voice drops.

"I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you right now," Anais says to herself.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry about what happened on Friday, I hope you can forgive me, but—"

"But what?" she cuts in sharply.

"I'm in trouble."

Anais frowns, her eyes shifting left and right to check if there's anyone close by who could be listening to our conversation. There isn't.

"What do you mean you're in trouble?" she whispers, taking a step toward me.

"I had a match with this dangerous guy and won. His people didn't like that and they want me to have a rematch with him on Thursday. If I do, there's a huge chance that they could kill me during the match for the sake of it. And if I run away, they might probably hunt me down." I explain.