Declan Hankinston is on a mission to find a new prom date amidst the pain of his first heartbreak. Encouraged by his cousin Aubrey, he ventures into the world of gay online dating and signs up for Grindr to seek a companion. Little does he know, Aub...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Meera is doing her best to comfort me. Weightless this is inappropriate but you look like you need it pats and solicitous this is a safe space, let it all out silence. I can't stop vocalising my cries and my draws for air. I've never said any of these things out loud, or to another person at that. And hearing everything out loud makes it real; it's finally setting in.
The last year has been one of the hardest, if not the hardest of all. And Declan was too caught up in his own shit to see it or care. It was how much he didn't care that made fucking with him that much easier.
I knew what I was doing, I knew catfishing him would hurt him, but why should I care if he's hurting or if he gets hurt when he ignored my hurting? I tried to tell him the day I found out from Dad. I called him multiple times that night and when he finally answered after the fifth attempt, he answered and yelled at me to stop calling before I could even get a word in. When I saw him the next day in school, he pretended like it never happened and went on and on about his and James' plans after high school. So I chose not to tell him.
On another day, I thought we were going to have a movie night alone, but he invited Alyssa and Tucker too. "Like old times," he said. But it wasn't like old times. Suddenly, I was the outsider. The one no one had inside jokes with anymore and the one who was left out of other hangouts because only god knows why. Mom's health had just gotten worse at this point and I hadn't had time to hang out with them, seemingly no one cared because no one even checked in on me or asked me if I needed help.
The more time I had to stew in it, the angrier I got. There he was bragging about his picture-perfect life, with his amazing parents and boyfriend and friends who had his back no matter what, and I had nothing.
Just a Mom hell-bent on breaking me and a boyfriend I couldn't get off.
"Do you have a plan on fixing things with Declan?" Meera breaks the silence and pulls my focus back to her. "And what about Alyssa and Tucker? I know you miss them too."
I pat my cheeks dry with my sleeves and gather myself before answering, "I don't even know where to begin."
"Well, put yourself in Declan's shoes. What if he found out you were his sister and did the same thing to you? What would make it better?"
I shrug. "I don't know if anything would. But I also don't think I'd be dumb enough to get catfished."
"You said John really likes him, right?" She ignores my second comment because she knows I don't mean it venomously. I think it's a little funny honestly. I didn't go into it thinking I would pull it off, but John was good at his part, obviously. Too good.
I nod and reach for a tissue. My sleeves are so drenched in snot and tears, that wiping isn't doing anything but making it worse. "Start there. Be a sister to him."
"Already two steps ahead of you, I asked John to ask Declan to prom."
Meera's facial expression goes from consoling to 'What the fuck? This girl is actually nuts' in a matter of seconds. "That's not exactly what I meant... Isn't that what got you in this mess?"
"Have any better ideas?"
"What are we doing right now?" I hate the stupid question with a question bullshit. Life is already enough questions after questions. Like what will I do if mom dies? What will I do if she survives?
"You're my therapist. I'm telling you everything I don't tell everyone else." I sniffle. "Finally."
"Good answer. But the correct answer was 'we're talking'. I meant start there as in talking to him, being a sister. If you say you guys had a nice moment yesterday, doesn't that give you hope?"
"But he's just being nice because of the whole thing with Mom."
"You don't know that, and you can't assume either."
"That's your homework for this week. Fixing things with Declan. Leave John out of it." Meera points at me with demanding eyes.
"And if that doesn't work?"
"Then I'll quit my job and you won't ever see me again." she smiles. "Talking always works, believe me. If it didn't work, I'd be out of a job."
