Declan Hankinston is on a mission to find a new prom date amidst the pain of his first heartbreak. Encouraged by his cousin Aubrey, he ventures into the world of gay online dating and signs up for Grindr to seek a companion. Little does he know, Aub...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
His eyes are staring at me through the rearview mirror, probably wondering why the three of us are not speaking at all. I look like a pageant girl gone mad. My hair is all fucked up and frizzy, my make-up is probably even worse. The spot where Alyssa slapped me stings beyond surface pain, not to mention the inside of my cheek is cut. If it were any other year, I'd hit her back. But I'm truly exhausted, and I don't have it in me to make another enemy. I'm sure she's wanted to do that since I started dating John anyway. She called dibs on him like she did with all the new hot guys. At least you weren't the one who turned a hot guy gay, Alyssa. Be happy about that.
When we get to my house, Declan fights me on getting out of the Uber. The Uber driver tries to insert himself and offers to drive Declan home free of charge, but I accuse him of staring at my boobs and pull Declan out of the car before the offer can be accepted. Being the dramatic person he is, Declan drops to the ground when I do this and pretends like he got hurt, and yup, you called it, John attempts to come to his rescue.
"Let me—" "I can help myself up," Declan says to John in his I want nothing to do with you tone. His shoes scrape against the concrete ground as he gets up, and he pats the dirt off his suit.
"Oh, Mom!" I scream as soon as I enter the front door, crashing into a wall that looks so much larger and slanted than it ever has. Or maybe the house is finally crumbling? Who cares, fuck this house.
I turn the corner to the living room and find Mom lying in bed, sound asleep. Her hair is so messily laid out behind her head that it looks like she's wearing a war bonnet. She seems peaceful, and for a minute, I second guess waking her because I can't remember another time when I looked at her and felt sympathy. But I can't get over how her hair looks like a bonnet. I want to laugh so badly; I'm having to remind myself that this is serious. I need to take this seriously. I giggle anyway because I can't help it. Plus, I don't think I'll be laughing again for a while after this.
"Mom!" I screech, purposely pulling the comforter off of her because I know she hates it. I have to get her angry. It's the only way. "Wake the fuck up! You have some explaining to do!"
The comforter slaps the air and violently wooshes before it hits the vials of pills off of the side table. What was once my living room, where I sought solace as a kid, is now a hospital room. The carpet reeks of urine, and the walls are tobacco and wine-stained. The entire room smells like old people, and it's freezing and dark in here all the time. At first glance, you would think that she was possessed.
The vials hit the carpet with no sound at all but the mild shaking of the pills. No thump. No crashing vials opening and pills spilling all over. Just a couple of faint plops. Still, I'm sure the yanking of the comforter is the main reason for Mom's eyes shooting open.
She's asking me if I know what time it is and complaining about how much of a shit daughter I am. How disrespectful, inconsiderate and selfish I am. You know, all of the things she says on a daily basis that have been etched into my mind.
"And what are they doing here?" Mom snarks, fixing herself back into her comforter. "Here to help you move in with your father?" she scoffs. "Good luck. See ya. Ungrateful pie—"
Declan cuts her off before she can finish her sentence. "Stop! What is wrong with you guys? You guys are so fucking toxic. You know, Aunt Emma, I always stand up for you, but you are not nice." He screams. Admittedly, it's nice to hear him finally speak his mind and go against Mom for once. "She takes care of you; the least you can do is treat her like a human being. And for you—" He turns his head to face me. "Aubrey. Your dad?! Is this why you did what you did?"
Mom laughs hysterically at Declan's comment. She's laughing so hard that she's coughing too. "Oh, what the fuck did you do now, Aubrey?" She slaps her thighs, at first with force, but then softens up as soon as she realises her strength. As soon as she realises we notice her strength.
"Not me, you." I'm smirking and pointing at her accusingly, refusing to back down. "Don't you want to tell Declan here your dirty little secret you've been keeping all of these years?" I snarl.
"I—" She looks around the room in fake confusion. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Ugh! Cut the shit, Mom! Tell him!" I wail. "Tell him how I spent my childhood trying to compete with him because of how much you compared me to him my whole fucking life." I sink down and position myself face-to-face with her.
A waterfall of tears escapes my eyes.
"Tell him how he got everything. A Mom who isn't a junky. A dad who wasn't drugged and sent away; Two normal parents who love him. A home with a fucking pool. A life that is his. Tell him how much you wish that I were him. Tell him he's your fucking son already!"
The room falls silent after my last remark.
Mom is as white as a ghost, her jaw is dropped, and she's staring blankly at me like I'm her murderer as she's gasping for her last breath.
She goes to speak, but it comes out as a gurgle instead. Her hands travel to her neck, shaking and gripping at her jugular.
"Mom?" I jump into bed with her and cradle her upper body. The deathly look in her eyes sends me into a panic. I put my ear close to her mouth to listen to her breaths. "She's not breathing!" I scream at Declan and John.
Declan does nothing but stand there idly, presumably piecing together our whole childhood. Like how we're the same exact age and how his birthday just so happens to be a day apart from mine. Pregnancy pact, my ass.
Or how Aunt Irene always told us that we need to be nicer to each other because being close to cousins is important.
John whips out his phone and dials 911 for help while pacing back and forth with terror in his eyes.
"You knew, and you didn't tell me?" Declan lets out in a soft, airy tone. He stares ahead, completely dissociated and untethered. "Instead, you had John catfish me to toy with my heart? You had him do that when you knew about this? When you could have just been an adult and told me?" the volume of his voice increases with each word.
He looks like I did when I found out: confused and angry. "You know what? Fuck you and this fucking family!" he shouts and races out the door.
The thought of chasing after him crosses my mind, but I can't just leave John here with Mom like this. "John." I jerk my head forward to tell him to follow. "He needs you more than I do."
