Declan Hankinston is on a mission to find a new prom date amidst the pain of his first heartbreak. Encouraged by his cousin Aubrey, he ventures into the world of gay online dating and signs up for Grindr to seek a companion. Little does he know, Aub...
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After Landon left that night I told him and Ben about my feelings for Declan and my questioning my sexuality, Ben eventually gave me his input.
He took me on a long history of my and Aubrey's relationship, or at least how it looked from the outside looking in.
She was bossy. It's always about her. You were just another person for her to lean on. She never cared. You followed her around like a lost puppy.
He was glad I broke up with her and was surprisingly chill about me questioning my sexuality.
In just a short two weeks of knowing Declan, I realised the emotional attachment I had for Aubrey was a one-way street. I cared for her because of her circumstances and loved her because it felt like no one else did. I never received that in return.
I thought I was, but if I'm being frank, she knows not a damn thing about my life. Not that I've ever divulged the information to her, but she also never cared to ask.
It was, is, always about her.
Except for right now, leaves are rustling underneath my hiking boots as I step away from Matt's campsite to answer Declan's call. I hadn't heard from him after I called while he was in the city, and I was hoping I wouldn't hear back at all so I wouldn't have to confront this exact scenario. I acted too soon when I called him.
Now I have to lie again.
Great.
"Hey! Sorry, I got busy with school and assignments, and I didn't want to reach out to you without being able to give you my undivided attention." Declan spews out without pausing in between.
I smile at his words because it's so Declan. Keyed up as always. His voice is just as distinct as his written voice.
The last few days of our messaging felt like nothing I've ever felt before. There was this constant spark back and forth, and my heart fluttered with every message. We missed a couple of good nights because we'd be up way past midnight having the most profound conversations I've ever had with anyone. I fell asleep smiling.
And then I'd wake up and remember that I (John) am not one of his priorities.
For now, that's okay. But I'm tired of having to remember what lines I can and can't cross as Matt. I'm tired of lying.
Declan speaks again and fills the awkward silence happening over the line as I'm lost in thought. "What's up? Are you and Aubrey okay?"
