Bad Decisions - Noah Sebastian

Evermore

"Please just let me walk out" I begged the nurse that held my hands out in front of me as she stood me up off the hospital bed.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, it's hospital policy." The nurse denied my plea.

"Alex, it'll be alright, the car is right outside." Noah tried to comfort me from where he stood behind the wheelchair the nurse was trying to coerce me into.

"It's just for a few minutes," the nurse added.

"Please don't make me do this," I could feel tears building up behind my eyes as I spoke. The thought of leaving the hospital in a wheelchair was degrading to me, it made me feel weak, being that I already am weak, I need no reminders of the fact.

"The faster we do this, the faster we get home." Noah bargained gently while he leaned over the wheelchair with his hands on the handles. With that I sighed in defeat before letting the nurse guide me to the chair, Noah assisted in setting me down gently.

It's been two days since the accident, they're discharging me with three broken ribs, lots of bruising, and stitches in my forehead from where my head met the passenger window in the wreck. Breathing was still difficult, made no easier by the amount of bruises littering my body. The thought of the weeks of recovery to come was a daunting . Knowing Noah would be by my side was comforting but also shattering to me, seeing as they put a hold on recording so Noah and Nick could be home to take care of me during this time.

The nurse began pushing me in the wheelchair towards the door and out into the hall as Noah collected my bag and a few loose items that had been on the bed, lying in wait for our departure. I rested my elbow on the arm rest and put my forehead to my hand as the nurse pushed me down the hallway and through a set of double doors. Through the double doors I saw the large windows at the front of the building and I spotted Nick's car parked outside, in front of the sliding glass doors. The sun outside was bright despite the cooler temperature I knew awaited us on the other side of the sliding doors. As we crossed the hospital threshold I saw Nick walking around the side of his car, going to open the backseat door nearest to the hospital. I cringed at the thought of having to stand back up, the pain and soreness I felt was all over my body, the medication felt like it did little for my pain and only affected me cognitively. The nurse let Noah take the lead with helping me into the car. Pain shot through me as my body set into the seat, I could hear Noah apologizing to me but I couldn't form words to tell him I was okay. When the car door closed my mind felt like it was swimming, the interior of the car moved and bobbled about in confusing ways. I could hear the nurse talking through the window but her words made no sense. I felt my body grow heavier as I slumped further into my seat, my eyelids drooped before darkness took place and silence rolled in.

When my eyes pulled themselves open I saw the smooth surface of a ceiling, the room was familiar. I let a groan out of the back of my throat, it was dry and painful.

"Alex" Noah, he was here, I'm alright. "Alex, are you okay?" I heard movement before he spoke again, "Are you in pain?" I saw him lean over me, deep brown eyes, perfect teeth, he's here.

"Something's wrong" I forced the words out though they sounded pitifully weak. Cramping, pain vibrated through my body as a wave of nausea hit me causing me to drop my head back onto the bed with a groan.

"What is it, what can I do?" his words now came out panicked. I felt tears prick my eyes as pain struck deep in my abdomen. I began clawing at the blankets and bedding that surrounded me, something was terribly wrong. My body was on fire with pain and I felt this foreign slickness my hands were desperately trying to reach to investigate. Noah frantically pulled the blankets off of me as my shaking hands found what was wrong. My eyes shot open as my fingers touched crimson liquid.

"No, no, no, no, no, no," was all I could say as Noah moved and lifted me from the bed. "Shower" I forced out so he didn't take me elsewhere. Standing us up he moved across the room and kicked the bathroom door open lightly. Carefully he set my ofeet on the ground, still supporting me, he reached into the shower and cut the water on. The pain was excruciating, the sight of blood made my skin crawl. I felt it as it ran down my legs, all the way to my ankle. Noah began pulling at my clothes but my eyes stayed on the blood running trails down my legs. "It's gonna get on the floor" I said as panic hit me, tears finally spilling over.

"Don't worry about it." Noah murmured as he worked at undressing me.

"It's all over the bed!" my words came out with a sob as I looked down at Noah who kneeled in front of me pulling my panties off. I put my hands on his shoulders to steady myself as another wave of pain crashed through my body. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" I cried out as Noah moved to stand up, taking my hands in his. He tugged me into the shower before helping me settle on the floor where I desperately wanted to be. The water was lukewarm, I watched it rush to the drain, tinted pink. A line of dark clots struggled to find their way to the drain, only breaking my heart further. I shifted my body to lie down, lying my head on the tile floor.

"Alex," Noah sounded terrified, "Look at me." I  pulled my eyes from the floor to find him kneeling in the open shower door. "You need to tell me if you need to go to the hospital, okay" he voice was firm but fear was evident. I knew if he saw fit he would yank me from the floor and rush me to the hospital, it was comforting that he was giving me an option.

"They can't do anything now, it already happened" my voice shook as I spoke.

"What happened" Noah's eyes were glazing over with tears the longer we looked at each other.

"You know what happened." I watched as he dropped his chin to his chest, his breath hitched. The physical pain was awful, some of the worst I have ever felt. But the emotional pain of watching the man I love cry over what I did will stick with me forever. "I'm sorry"  my chest burned as I spoke, " I didn't know"

Author's note: Eww, that was a long time, life happened. things have been...yeah. Back to our regularly scheduled programming.