Bad Decisions - Noah Sebastian

Cardigan

Sunlight streamed in through the windows of my room, alerting me it was now morning, and guessing by the brightness in my room it was late morning. I stretched out against the mattress only to feel Noah's arm still firmly around my torso. I heard him groan from behind me as my movements disturbed him. I pulled his arm away from me with both hands though he seemed to fight it, he let me win. I sat up fully before turning to sit on my knees facing the man who held me so safely. "Good morning, sleepyhead" I whispered before leaning forward and pecking him on the lips quickly.

"Good morning, princess" his voice heavy with sleep as he rubbed his eyes.

"Are you ready for your last day off before recording starts?" I asked with raised eyebrows. Noah didn't answer, but reached for my wrists pulling them to him causing me to fall forward into him. He turned slightly, wrapping me in his arms as his lips found mine, kissing me softly.

"Now I am" he breathed out after pulling back from me.

"What's on the agenda for today?" I asked running my fingers through his messy hair.

"That depends" he looked at me seriously. "Are we going to talk about last night?" he asked.

"Does talking about last night give me a better outcome for the day?" I asked, confusion setting in.

"It most definitely does," he nodded, not breaking eye contact.

"I just got in my head." I tried to brush it off.

"I know," he nodded, "what got you in there in the first place?" he asked, brushing hair back from my face.

"Just," I sighed. "That girl, and her career" I started, "and you have your career, and you're both successful and I'm not. I don't even have a job." I confessed. "Makes me feel like shit"

"Alex," he sighed as he dropped his head back before immediately picking it back up to look at me. "I don't want you worrying about that." he brushed it off.

"I am going to worry about it, I have nothing, Noah." I sat back up, pulling myself from his grasp. I don't have a job, I have no income, I have nothing to call mine, I have nothing to fall back on" I could feel the stress of my words weigh down in my stomach.

"Alex you don't need a job," Noah sighed as he moved to sit up as well.

"Yes I do, I need something" I pushed.

"Why? you have me here, I can take care of you" he seemed to be bothered by the subject at hand.

"You don't get it, I need my own thing. To feel like I'm not some kind of leech" I countered.

"Alex, don't ever say that" his voice was stern "don't ever say that again, I don't want you thinking of yourself that way." He paused before he went on "I don't want you to have a job." his voice still harsh as he spoke. "I don't want you to have a job, I'm selfish, I know that." His last words sounding like a confession.

"What are you-" I started before he cut me off.

"I don't want you doing anything that takes you away from me, I don't want you to work, I want you with me." he stated his voice growing softer as he spoke. "If you really want to work, I can't stop you," he sighed as his eyes found the sheets our legs were still tucked under. "But I'd rather you not," he confessed. "I need you here with me," he brought his eyes back up to mine.

It took a second for his words to fully process, once they did I couldn't stop myself from leaning forward pressing my lips to his. His hands went to my waist pulling me into his lap as he deepened the kiss. Although not all my anxiety around the subject was settled by his words, he had done enough, he had melted me down, in this moment I wanted nothing more than to be his. Noah turned and laid me down as he moved over me, his lips finding my neck, and I knew what he wanted, I felt his hands traveling south, pulling at material as he went.