Bad Decisions - Noah Sebastian

False God

Lying in our shared bunk that night I couldn't sleep. Who is doing this to me? Do they know me? or not? Noah slept soundly next to me, arm slung across my waist holding me in place while I stared at the ceiling. I racked my brain for any possible clue that might be hidden in my memories, recent, or past. Hour after hour passed and eventually sleep took over, letting my eyes fall closed my breathing evened out as my mind swam away from reality.

With a gasp I jolted upright, thumping the top of my head on the ceiling as I did so. I felt sick at my sudden realization, true or not, the possibility of it scared the shit out of me. I looked over to Noah who had only rolled to his back, bringing his arm back to himself, freeing me. As sneakily as I could I climbed over him and out of the bunk before tip toeing to the back of the bus. The little sleep that I got mixed with the memories it brought up had me wide awake and wired now. I sat down in the back of the bus with my phone in hand while trying to steady my breathing. This couldn't be possible, there's no way, I guess there's always a way, but it's not likely. The thought of one of the darkest parts of my past coming back to me kept me up till sunlight streamed in through the blinds, only then did my eyes close.

"Hey" I felt the couch dip beside me causing me to open my eyes reluctantly. I turned my head slightly to find Nicholas next to me. "You alright?" I could tell he just woke up as well.

"I think I figured it out," I confessed quietly. I watched his expression change, waiting for me to further explain myself. "I think it's someone from Washington" I breathed out.

"Who?" his tone changed as did his expression at the mention of Washington. I only shook my head, I couldn't find it in myself to even speak of it. Washington wasn't the best experience, some parts were pure trauma, this being one of them. Still I felt the need to explain myself somehow to the only person helping me through this.

"I had to do a lot of things I'm not proud of." I said as my eyes found the floor where the blanket I was under dragged. "I got in a little over my head" I looked back up to Nicholas who was already staring holes into me. "I'm sorry for dragging you into this." I apologized as sincerely as I could.

"Don't apologize, Alex, you're a part of the family, it's what we do." Nicholas said quietly as the first signs of life were heard from the bunk hall. He gave me a weak smile before reaching for the tv remote and sitting back on the couch casually.

I sat nervously in the front of the bus, we were currently headed straight for the house. Tour was officially over and I couldn't be more thankful to be going home, My hope was to leave behind all my stress on the bus. I can only hope the texts stop with being home, That I'd feel safer, many of the rules I had been living by would be coming to an end soon as they were only pertaining to touring. Noah had assured me that all but one rule would be retired till the next tour. The one rule staying in place being that I wasn't to go anywhere alone; which doesn't effect me much at all. I almost felt as though I could tell Noah about the texts now, then I remembered all the reasons I had been keeping them to myself.

Not many texts had come in since that night at dinner; none of the texts let on that the eyes of the sender were directly on me, none of them scared me as much as the ones that night did. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in when the bus came to a stop and I saw familiar landscaping outside through the blinds behind the table. Standing up, we all unloaded from the bus heading up the driveway. I left my bag on the bus, desperate to get back to my room, my bed, and my safe space. Jolly unlocked the door and let me pass him going inside, I took the stairs as fast as I could. rounding the corner I saw the two doors at the end of the hallway, mine and Noah's. I quickly made my way to my door and pushed through into my room. There it was, just as I left it. The room I had longed for all this time, fuck, I missed it so much.