Let's shift gears, mi amigos y amigas.
Three things about me that you should know are:
A: I am a real-live mad scientist. (Zombie gerbils, anyone?)
Relax! My scientific hobby is theoretical physics, not rodent reanimation! As of yet, I've neither a dungeon laboratory nor a secret lair. Moreover, the monster in my closet keeps eating all of my imaginary livestock! (I lose more unicorns that way.)
In both high school and in community college, I studied biology, chemistry, and physics. One academic Achilles' heel was mathematics. This stifled me scientifically. Then . . . eureka! Why not let my autistic, little brain do whatever it does best? This creative dam-breaker happened quite recently.
Back to the past:
In both high school and college, both physics instructors made similar comments in front of their classes. Basically, that relativity excited me, but the class had to move on.
Qualitatively pondering gravitational dynamics still fascinates me. What trouble could an amateur mad scientist cause that way?
Um...
Moving on to the next thing that you should know about me:
B: I don't have a history of mental illness. I have a tradition.
My parents, and 12 siblings, are all merry lunatics. Except when they're depressed. Then they're morose lunatics.
Sad, but true. Unless it isn't. Would a would-be politician lie to you?
The answer is: "Of course! Politicians are job applicants from whom we expect padded résumés!" Even so, both you and I expect better from me. (Which is to say, in context, that I hope that I'm the craziest member of my clan!)
Oh, and...
C: I've actually considered someday running for President of the United States.
RIGHT... Like any Americans would vote for a politician who they know is stark ravin' bonkers...
Ain't never goin' to happen no how.
(Ha! A triple negative! Take that, Little Miss Manners!)
But of course, it gets worse. Confess. You know that it does. It gets totally sheep-dip — meaning it gets:
BA-A-A-AD
So... How bad??
3 topics might interest you: schizoaffective disorder, autism spectrum disorder, and perhaps Asperger's syndrome. If you're curious. Just saying.
So far this reads like a political satire, or the beginning script for an atrociously bad standup comedy routine.
I mean, what unknown "politician" begins their political career under a penname? As in, people would have no idea who they'd really be voting for!
What total nimrod would "catfish" an entire nation? If that ain't "cheeky," then that word needs a better definition!
And, seriously, who in professional academia takes real-live mad scientists seriously? I've diddlysquat for credentials, and slightly more education. I'm literally certifiable. Worst of all, I'm the wrong type of religious.
Meaning, my religious beliefs make me a scientific heretic.
Stop.
None of this is what anybody wants to hear from any potential political candidate.
Ever.
Since the invention of politics.
Which happened last Tuesday in a quaint little bistro in downtown Ontario, Toronto.*
(There. A little Canadian-style humor coming from a Yankee. What — is — the world coming to?)
Blame NAFTA.**
Everybody else does.
:)
*[Toronto is (a city) in Ontario, Canada — (not vice versa). But it (Toronto) has plans to migrate to Quebec, Canada — because it rains less there. (And French {Quebec's favored language} is a groovier language than English.)]
[Toronto is -not- the capitol of England. Nor is it world famous for stale beer nuts.]
**[NAFTA: Nutty Americano Freaky Trade Argument]
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A Bridge Over Troubled Waters
SpirituálníDear Reader: You are precious, priceless, and irreplaceable. In the entire history -- of the entire universe: In the history of all Eternity... There has been, and ever will be, only one you. Herein are opinions, observations, and things autobiograp...
