BTS Sickfics (request closed for now!)

Namjon (RM) ~ ENOUGH!

Is it that hard to believe that I always chose them before anyone else? Do they realy think I am selfish? Do they think I really want this? I want more stress? More pressure? More meeting? More discussions?

Namjoons head is overflowing with his own voices that is making him run faster and faster. He keeps on wondering as the conversation of before keeps on going on in his head too and als the meeting can't seem to leave his mind.

"If you don't go on tour, we will not have enough money to support you and you will have to be let go."

"But we don't have that much time, we just got back and we are busy with the..."
"Work harder, you are not doing enough. Money won't come in by itself."
"But, we are.."
"Don't care. You choice, tour that starts in two months or being fired."
"Good, for practice you have to work longer now to make it in two months."

Words...

Namjoon keeps on running, but a sharp pain in his arms makes hims stop.

The pain in his arms goes to his heart and he can feel how it all is hurting him to much and his vision is getting spotted with black dots.

He can feel his body fall towards the ground, he doesn't know the feeling of a heartattack, but he is pretty sure that this is what it feels like and that that is what this is.

He can feel how heart is starting to hurt more and more and someone rusn towards him and starts talking to him, he can feel hands on his chest but his only thoughts are how sorry he is to his brothers as he never got the changes to say how sorry he is for running out after a fight and now he never can

Than his whole world goes dark.

****

"Can he hear us?" it is the soft voice of Jimin close to Namjoon ear. Namjoon listen to the voices in the room, he listen to the sounds around him but keeps his eyes closed.

"I am pretty sure he will come back to use really soon." It is a voice Namjoon doesn't recognise and he doesn't know where he is.

"Are you really sure he had a heartattack?" Jungkook asks.
"I am sad to say that that is what this was."
"How? He is young and healthy." Yoongi asks
"His stress levels seem to be really high and his blood values tell us he is exhausted."

None of the members react to it and it stays quiet.
"You can all wait here till he wakes up." And with that Namjoon can hear how someone is leaving the room, he really tries to open his eyes. Tries to tell the others he is fine and that they really need to work and that this is something he doesn't like. But it feels like his body is totally against him on the moment.

"I know he really wants to work longer days, but like this I can't see it happening. This is why we don't do it." Jin speaks.
"I still can't believe he would decide that, how can he do something like this, feel so tired that this happens and be mad at us for not supporting his bad decision."
"No same, why would he even do that to us. He is exhausted, we are exhausted. Does he want us dead because he is on his digging his own grave like this." Jungkook says

How bad Namjoon wants to wake up, wants to say something but his body is still not given it, for him it really feels like he is stuck in his body while he can hear everything but can't move, talk or do anything at all.

As he keeps on hearing the words his members are saying it really hurts more, he wasn't happy with the news that they have to work harder, but he also doesn't want them to quiet and with that tears start to roll over his eyes and he cries it out.

"That's weird, he is crying." Taehyung says soft as his hands are slowly wiping away Namjons tears.
"Can he hear us you think?" Hoseok asks.
"He Joon-ah, it is time for you to open your eyes." Jin says.
"Come on." Yoongi speaks.

Namjoon keeps on fighting and finally, after what feels like hours he slowly opens his eyes. He blinks a few times to get used to the lights in the room and is than met with all worried faces of his band members.

"I never wanted this." He says crying his eyes out.
"He take it easy, come on." Yoongi says slowly trying to calm the boy that is complete losing it and breathing faster than normal, crying his eyes out.
"I never wanted this." Namjoon keeps on replaying as he keeps on crying.
"You can't help it that this happened. It will be ok." Hoseok says.
"I am so sorry." Namjoon cries.
"For what?" Taehyung asks, not really sure why Namjoon is apologizing.
"I never wanted to do the longer days but they said if we don't do it they are going to let us go." Namjoon says.
"Let us go?" Jungkook asks, looking a bit scared.
"I didn't want to put that pressure on you and didn't want to tell you. I thought..."
"Ssshh.." Jin says hugging the leader.
"You should have not carried this burden alone. Share this with us, we have been so agry for nothing." Jimin says. "we're sorry."

Namjoon can't stop crying.
"You should have told us, we can always make the disccision together."
"It was to much to carry, I thought if we kept on working that was the only stress you would feel."
"I am sorry for saying you are a bad leader. I should have known you never goes yourself above us."

Namjoon smiles at all members before saying sorry again.

"Now that is enough, how are you feeling?" JIn says.
"Better." Namjoon says as his breathing is back to normal and his waterfall stops running.

"Good. If the doctor agrees let go home and takesome rest." Hoseok says making the others nod.

Im sorry for the short chapter and the late upload, i have been so busy and i really don;t know how to handle this all. I love to write and i wish i could really do it more but time is not on my side. 

I promise to write all the request but it will take longer than i like... I do the best again.