Abhira 3.0 - Healing

SS - Tune Jo Na Kaha (3)

A/n: Hello! Reminder, I am not a medical professional, so please forgive any mistakes. Very long chapter ahead, happy reading :)

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"You know Akshara"....he started, fidgeting with the sheet in his hand, his eyes downcast.

"My whole life, seeing the broken relationships around me, I ran away from them. Ran away from love. But then, I met you. I started to want everything I had been running from. Love, togetherness, a family. I envisioned our life together, believing we could have it all. Our children. Our own little family. But we were young, naturally, we made mistakes along the way. Somehow we overcame them too."

"Until, we didn't." He finally met her eyes, pain and regret mirroring each other.

"That day & then after, I know I made grave mistakes, and it cost me everything. I regret them, trust me, I do. I curse myself everyday remembering what I've done. But I've been trying to do better over the years, to be better. Somehow, I accepted that the happy family I dreamt of wasn't in my fate, that it was best to settle with whatever life gave me. Until I found out about Junior."

"Knowing about him brought me back to life, made me want to hope again. But at the same time, it dragged me to the depths of hell. Because I knew now, what exactly I lost. I missed out on 6 years of my son's life, which I'll never get back. But, again, I tried to pacify my heart, reassure it that at least I had a son. A son who already had another father, who didn't need me, but still loved me and would always be a part of me. But now, it's as if my heart refuses to listen. It's bleeding, and I don't know how to stop it. I thought this....maybe I could stop it this way but Mahadev didn't agree. I'm glad in a way, I realize that would have been a wrong step, but I still don't know what to do."

"How do I stop the pain?"

He sighed, wiping away the hot tears streaming down his face, as she looked down in visible guilt. "I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty, I'm just trying to explain to you why I'm asking you to leave me alone." She looked at him, perplexed.

"It hurts Akshara"

"It physically hurts to see the family I dreamt of being lived by someone else. It's not that I'm not happy for you. You and Junior deserve the world and I'm so grateful you found your happiness in Sharmaji, but I can't sit here watching you every day pretending to be okay, when I know everything inside me is dying a thousand painful deaths. I'm not that strong."

"Junior felt sad about not being able to live with me, but I don't blame him. He's a child, and for me to expect him to give me a position he's already filled was stupid of me, I see that now. He loves me as his DocMan, I know that and I'll forever love him. But I don't want my hurt and my pain to seep into mine and his relationship. I don't want our constant fights to affect his childhood. I've lived through it, and trust me, I'd never wish that upon him."

"Abhimanyu? What are you saying?" She finally managed to ask.

"I've decided to forfeit all of my rights on Junior. He deserves to live happily, and if that's with his mumma papa in Kasauli, then so be it. I have already told Tauji/tyaji and Rohan, but want to request you too. I don't want Ruhi or Junior to come visit me. I don't want them to see me like this. Once I'm out and get all the legal paperwork done, I'll come to hand it over, and meet Junior. Then you can go back to Kasauli, live your life happily."

She looked at him stunned. He was giving up. He would give up on Abhir?

As if reading her face, he answered. "I'm never going to stop loving my son Akshara. I'm just stepping back because I think he's made his choice clear, and I want to respect it. And anyway, I'll always be his DocMan, right?"