Abhira 3.0 - Healing

SS - Regrets (1)

This will take place after Abhir's truth reveal by Manjri at Goenka house and after Akshara and Nav's conversation. Going to toggle between Akshara and Abhi's POV.

I was upset that they brushed over the leads' POV after that confrontation so wanted to show something. I still believe that beneath the anger/hurt, they still feel but the makers are purposefully not showing anything. This is my first-time writing, so hopefully it makes sense and readers like it. Also, I may rephrase some dialogues from the show from my memory so please don't take it word for word.

Trigger warning: Sensitive topics such as self-harm, suicide will be present, so please read with caution.

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Akshara

Breathing heavily and holding onto her heart, Akshara somehow makes it to the outside of her room.

Yeh sab kya ho ho gaya? Kuch samaj mein nahi aaraha. Kya karu? Kaha jau? Mujhe yaha se bahar to jana hi hoga.

After thinking for a few seconds, she realizes where she needs to go. Where she'll be able to calm down and express all of these emotions she's feeling, without feeling guilty. She runs out of Goenka house and makes it to the place. Looking around, she instantly feels the change from when she was in that house. Yes, the house which was hers, but was it really? She wasn't so sure anymore.

Abhimanyu

The family makes it back to Birla house, without saying much. Everyone is in shock, and rightfully so. Abhimanyu's child was alive, but not with them. He didn't get to grow up surrounded by his family. Manjri is seething, thinking how could that girl hide her grandson from them? How could she do this with her Abhi? She wants to say something to Abhi, ask him to bring his child back, but when she looks over, she sees that though he's standing right next to her, he's nowhere near. She decides to talk to him in the morning, and with that, goes away.

Abhimanyu is replaying everything that happened just a while ago, and doesn't know what to think. He's angry, yes, his child was oblivious to his real father. He never got the chance to be a father to Abhir, but for some reason, he kept thinking of one thing over and over.

6 saal se hum sirf Abhir ke parents banke jee rahe the. Pati/Patni jesa koi rishta hi nahi hai

Why had she said that? What did she mean? Was she also stuck like he was? He shook his head, and berated himself for even thinking like that. She was married now, and he had no right to think like this. But the more he stood there, the more confused he became. Maybe some fresh air would help, he thought. He changed into a hoodie and sweatpants and started walking out of his house to a place, not knowing that he would get a chance to clear this confusion.

Akshara

Sitting on the bench, she started replaying all of the things that happened at Goenka house. How Manjri ma --sorry aunty, she had to get used to saying that, she chided herself. How she came and wreaked havoc by revealing the truth. She always knew there was a possibility of this, but then why did it still hurt? She remembered telling her "family" what happened that fateful day, how she didn't know where she was going but when she found out about Abhir, she tried to tell Abhi. How her relationship with Abhinav was a mere namesake one, one just to be the parents of Abhir. How she hadn't moved on. But then she also recollected the conversation between her Bade papa and Abhinav, her conversation with her Badi ma, and finally her conversation with Abhinav. Thinking of all this her hands fisted at her sides, a flow of anger creeping up.

Abhi.. She hadn't said that name in 6 years. But she needed to let out her feelings, and a part of her knew that no matter what, he would always listen, he would always understand. He knew her better than anyone, even herself. He would help her. She looked ahead and continued..

I'm sorry. 6 saal pehle jo hua, woh bohot galat tha. Aaj bhi jab mein N..Neil ke baare me, apne us bacche ke baare me sochti hoon to bohot dukh hota hai. Kaash us din halat alag hote, kaash Neil ki jaga mein hoti, par kismat ko kuch aur hi manzoor tha. Jab tumne mujhe jaane ko kaha, mein naraz nahi thi. Shayad yehi meri saza thi. Meri wajese sab kuch barbaad hogaya tha. Tum bikhar rahe the. Par pata hai, dil ke ek kone mein dukh bhi tha, ki tumse door jake mein kaise rahungi? Tumne socha hoga ki mein Goenka house jaake rahungi, par mein vaha jaake bhi kya karti? Sabki nazro mein, mein galat thi. Meri wajese sab hua tha. To maine socha ki yaha se jaana hi theek hoga. Jaate jaate, maine bade papa ko voice note bheja tha, pata nahi unhone tume sunaya ya nahi. She chuckled dryly recollecting that note. Maine unse kaha ki mai akele rehna chahti hun, par woh chinta na kare, mein khud ko maarungi nahi.

She wiped her tears that seemed to flow freely for the first time. She pulled her knees to herself, resting her head on them, and continued talking to him.

Ek sach batau? Tum naraz mat hona, par maine bade papa se jooth bola tha. Maine to soch liya tha, ki tumhaare bina me kaise jeeungi? Shayad mumma/papa ke paas jaake mujhe sukoon mile. She said morbidly. Truthfully, she had thought about it, not living in this cruel world anymore, since all it had done was taken from her. Maybe reuniting with her parents might finally bring her that peace she'd been searching for her whole life. The peace she had started to feel with him, but of course, that was also short-lived.

Abhimanyu

He doesn't realize when his footsteps have led him here. It's been a while since he's come, but this place always brought him peace. Maybe sitting here for a while might calm his mind down. As he walks closer he suddenly hears it. Hears her.

Abhi..

He stands there frozen. He hasn't heard her call him that in over 6 years. He hears the pain, the guilt, the plea in that voice. He sees her sitting there, she came here. She came here? Should he go to her? He starts to take a step, but then just as fast, takes it back. No, maybe it wouldn't be appropriate. He starts to turn back when he hears her talking. At first, he thinks she's seen him, and he freezes again, but when he turns, he sees who she's talking to. He sees her talking to their tree. The one they planted with love, the one neither one of them could take care of, just like their relationship. He stands there, behind a tree, and listens to her finally letting out her emotions with tears in his own eyes.

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What do you guys think so far? I want to write Abhi's side next, but do provide feedback. Thank you :)