Yes, My Queen (Black Butler)

Chapter 38

We spent the majority of the day helping Susan pick out different foods we would want to see at the banquet after the coronation. I tried not to think about the fact that if my visions came true I wouldn't even be able to enjoy them, but the thought still plagued the back of my mind.

As the three of us helped the two cooks, I couldn't help but notice Jasmine spending a large amount of her time with Ben. I pointed this out to Sarah, and we both giggled quietly and continued on, noting to bring this up to her later.

It was also interesting to see how limited the ingredients they had available were. Most demons won't eat human food as they can't taste it the same way humans can, but we were lucky that Susan and Ben were able to. I wanted to ask if they were former humans like us, but decided they may think that to be too personal of a question. Sarah ended up doing most of the talking, while I simply mentioned what foods I'd like to have.

"If there is anything you want that is not available, we can have someone go to the human world and collect it," Susan offered.

"No, it's okay. I really don't want to cause you any more trouble," I told her quickly.

"It isn't a problem," Ben spoke up. "We have someone who goes there to get us ingredients often. We can simply ask them to pick it up on their next run."

I thought for a moment. "A cake would be wonderful..."

Susan beamed. "I do make a delicious chocolate cake, if I do say so myself."

Ben smiled, too. "She's not lying."

I couldn't help but smile with them. "Chocolate cake it is!"

They laughed and made a note of the ingredients they would need to ask for, and after they had a large list of foods for the banquet, they thanked us for our help and said we could come back anytime we wanted something to eat. We said our goodbyes, then left the kitchen.

With time to kill before my dress fitting, we decided to go back to the suite and look through the movie room again. It was time to make a list of the different movies we wanted to bring back once we were finally able to visit home.

As we were doing this, I decided to go for it. "So, Jasmine. You sure were spending quite a bit of time with Ben in the kitchen."

Sarah, smiling, piped in, "Yeah. You know, I'm vaguely remembering a conversation we had about asking if there were any demon boys who had caught your eye..."

Jasmine turned bright red, refusing to face us as she looked through a box of horror movies. "I don't know what you're talking about. I was helping both of them just like you were."

"And how were you so sure we'd be allowed to help in the kitchens when no one else would let us?" Sarah continued. "Surely cooking is more dangerous than hanging a few banners or balloons."

"Because Susan and Ben are really nice. I spent a lot of time with them while I was waiting for Chrys to wake up."

I stared at her, my playful mood vanishing. I knew it was unlikely we would ever know the reason it took me so long to wake up, but it pained me to hear about how worried my friends were. I asked them to come to this unfamiliar world with me, and then I was unconscious for the first three months while they figured this place out on their own. I had a feeling I would always feel guilty about that.

Sarah continued without pause. "Oh, so he was more important than spending time with me? You'd think you know someone after living under the same roof for five years..."

Jasmine turned to face her, throwing a wad of paper at her. "Oh, stop. I've spent more time with you and Chrys than anyone since we've been here. He's not nearly as important to me as you guys."

"So what I'm hearing is that he's totally the boy you were thinking of when we were joking around about boys," Sarah said.

Jasmine rolled her eyes and looked back at her box of movies, but I saw the tiniest of nods.

This got Sarah the most excited I'd ever seen her. She started interrogating Jasmine, asking about what she thought about every aspect of Ben: his laugh, his eyes, his smile, his looks, his temper, his height. The list went on so long they didn't even notice when I stood and left the room.

I should've felt happy for Jasmine. I should have been as excited for her as Sarah, but for some reason my coma was weighing heavily on my mind, and I couldn't bring myself to pretend to be thrilled when my thoughts were elsewhere.

I tried my best to clear my brain. It was almost time for my fitting, so I tried hard to focus on that. Should I change into something that will be easier to change in and out of? Should I allow the seamstress into the suite to guarantee privacy? She'd already been in long enough to stock my closet before I'd ever set foot inside, so clearly she was trusted by the old king, which means she's been doing this and has been loyal for ages. There was no reason not to trust her other than my own anxieties.

In the end, I got lost in thought and did not change, and when it was time to meet her, I allowed her into the suite. She smiled graciously and promised not to enter without consent, which I thanked her for. If there was any staff member in this palace I thought I could perhaps grow close to and trust, it would be her.

And if I could grow to trust her, then maybe one day I could trust the others.

It wasn't much, but it was a start.