Yes, My Queen (Black Butler)

Chapter 23

After my vision, I refused to leave my room again. I wasn't going to let myself go anywhere that the red haired demon could find me. I knew the door was locked and that there were guards outside. I also knew Sebastian was right beside me.

It had been days since then, and I was miserable. I couldn't close my eyes without seeing those demons again, feeling the hands on my skin. I spent this time cowering in fear of the future, hoping someone was trying to come up with a plan to stop it.

Sebastian would speak to me, try to reassure me that I was alright, but I wasn't able to respond. I was alright for the time being, yes, but I had no idea when this vision would come. All I was able to do was sit in silence, wrapped tightly in Sebastian's arms.

After about a week of this, Lisa came back into the room.

"How's she doing?" she asked Sebastian.

"She hasn't said a word, and she won't even sleep."

"I see."

There were some shuffling sounds in the room, then Lisa was seated in front of me on the bed. "Dear, listen to me. I know what you saw was scary, but surely you know by now no one is going to let that happen to you."

I didn't respond.

"And Sebastian is not going to let anything happen to him when you still need him. You have a contract. He won't die so easily."

"But you weren't there," I whispered, my voice quivering. "You read my mind, but you weren't in the vision."

She leaned back slightly. "Chrystal-"

"You didn't feel any of it. You weren't there. Did you really see what happened? Could you feel the fear, the hatred, the loneliness?"

Lisa didn't respond.

I continued. "I did. I felt so many things. I was scared to be chained up in the darkness all alone. I hated that demon when he came over to me and started talking about how he wants to kill me just so he won't have to follow the rules, when he said he was going to make Sebastian either hand over the throne or watch me die. I was scared, angry, and sad when I watched them kill him, destroy his body, then turn to me and... and-"

Sebastian's arms around me tightened. "You needn't say it. We know."

It was then I noticed I was crying again. "It can't be true. It can't come true. I won't let it." I leaned into Sebastian's touch. "I'll stay in this room forever. I won't lose you."

Lisa leaned forward, then, taking my hand. "Chrystal, listen to me. You're correct. I couldn't feel your emotions when I read your mind. However, I know you well enough to know what you must have been feeling. It is different for me to see the images from an outside perspective while you are thrown in the middle of these visions. It's hard, and I'm sorry you must deal with this, but you cannot keep yourself locked in this room forever. Your people need you. By staying in here, that demon wins."

I stared at her, mouth agape as more tears welled up and my heart dropped. "No, he can't."

"Then don't let this fear control you. You are so strong, Chrystal. Instead of sitting here, cowering, be thinking of what you could do differently in the event that your vision comes true."

I blinked back the tears. "I ordered Sebastian not to die..."

She gave me a kind smile. "That's a start."

*

Something happened after my conversation with Lisa. I grew more confident. I knew I had to be able to protect myself in the event that my vision or a similar one came true. I had to be able to defend myself. My swords weren't going to be enough to protect me. Not in a world full of demons and magic.

For the next few days, I was still too scared to leave my room. However, I didn't spend that time curled up in a ball awaiting my fate. Sebastian and Lisa both took time to help me try to control my powers. I'd already managed to learn to teleport at will and use fire magic, but the wind was still alluding me.

"Sebastian, it's never going to happen. I can't do it."

We were trying to get me to use my wind magic on command, but no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn't come. It was beginning to seem like the only time I could use it was when I was an emotional wreck.

Sebastian walked over to me and took my hand. "It's okay, Chrystal. It takes time to be able to master a new skill, and I'm still impressed by how you learned fire so easily." He was giving me his gentle smile. "You'll learn it in time. Perhaps you need a break. You've been at this for hours."

I shook my head. "I can't take a break. I can't. I have to be ready."

His smile fell. "Yes, you do, but you cannot keep pushing yourself like this."

I pulled my hand away from his. "I appreciate your concern, but I'm not a human anymore."

I heard him let out a sigh. "No, you are not. You are a powerful demon." He knelt down in front of me then, looking me in the eyes. "I understand how it feels having people you need to protect. We are in this fight together. Please remember that."

Something about his words struck me somewhere. I was suddenly remembering that I was not the only one who had something to fight for. Sure, I was fighting so I could protect the people I cared about, but they were all doing the exact same thing for me and for the good people in this demon world.

Tears began to trickle their way down my cheeks, and I looked at Sebastian. "I know. I'm so sorry. I just-"

He wrapped his arms around me, and I lay my head on his shoulder, trying to stop crying. "It's alright, My Love. I know you only have good intentions, but you should know you cannot do this alone. Even if you could, I wouldn't let you. I am always by your side."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder as he held me tighter. "Thank you, Sebastian."

He held me like that for a long time, all the while so many thoughts were going through my head. Sebastian only ever wanted what was best for me. If he said I needed a break, he was probably right. I had to listen to him if I wanted to save anyone.

We were both fighting for everyone in this kingdom. I wasn't alone. Maybe I was destined to be this world's queen, but that made Sebastian its king. We were in this fight together. And together, we would win.

We had to.