Yes, My Queen (Black Butler)

Chapter 33

As the next several days passed, no one asked even once if I was ready. They were all waiting patiently for me to tell them, and I appreciated that more than they would ever know.

I couldn't stop thinking about my visions and nightmares. I knew the only way to put an end to this suffering was to become queen of demons and as strong as the prophecy foretold. Still, that thought alone peaked my anxiety. What if I was a terrible queen? What if everyone hated me and decided they agreed with that red haired demon instead? I kept these thoughts to myself, but Sebastian knew. Whenever they became too much for me to bear, I would lean into him, holding on tight, feeling like if I were to let go, the world would crash down on me. He didn't pry or say anything at all in these moments; he simply held me, and I felt stable beside him.

Over these few days of anxiety, word seemed to travel among the staff that I was trying to prepare myself to be crowned. Every time I walked the halls of the castle, the staff were whispering to each other and carrying things hurriedly. They were all preparing for an upcoming coronation that I had yet to set a date for. They wanted to be ready so they could move this along as fast as possible. I didn't blame them. If I were in their shoes, I would want the most powerful demon to be able to protect me, too.

I also hadn't had any more visions, which I wasn't sure why. I was getting accustomed to having them often, but after almost a week, there hadn't been any sign of one. I knew it wasn't because I'd suddenly learned to control them, but a small part of me couldn't help hoping.

Once a week had passed, Lisa came to find me. I was in my room in the royal suite, practicing my elemental magic when she entered. "I hope you do not let yourself get carried away with that. I'd hate to have to put out a fire in here. That bed frame is millennia older than you are."

I watched as the flame of the candle I'd been toying with reduced to nothing, then looked up to meet her gaze. "Ah, an antique. That sounds both fascinating and disgusting, to be honest."

She sighed, shaking her head. "I can't believe you sometimes."

I smiled. "Neither can I."

She glanced up. "What does that mean?"

I took a deep breath, then stood from the apparently ancient bed. "You were coming here to ask if I was ready, weren't you?"

She gave me a wary look, nodding.

"I've seen the maids preparing everything. They're just waiting for me to say the magic words. I only worry that it'll all go by too quickly, that I won't know what's happening until it's over."

Lisa gave a small smile. "The only things that have been prepared are the throne room and the ballroom. Your dress, the schedule, the banquet... everything else is waiting for you to be ready. Once you make the decision, there will still be about a week of prepping before the day comes. That being said, I assume Sebastian told you my thoughts on waiting?"

I frowned, nodding. "I understand that time is important. I just have so much anxiety over this. I don't feel like I'll be good enough. I-"

"You will be," Lisa interjected, cutting me off. "This is your destiny. You are surrounded by people who will be able to help you. You will not be left to make decisions on your own. We simply need you to be the face of the people, and to finally have access to all your powers so we can stop this madness."

I took a moment to let her words sink in. I knew all of this. These facts had been force fed to me since I got my memories back.

"And the sooner it's all over, the sooner I can go visit Maia and Thomas, right?"

Lisa nodded with no hesitation. "It will be safe once you are officially the strongest."

I stood a little taller, knowing what I had to do. If I ever wanted to see my friends again, it was my only option.

"Then I agree, Lisa. I'm ready."

She smiled. "Really? There's no going back from this decision."

I nodded. "For the sake of everyone I care about, I can't put this off any longer. I'm never truly going to be ready, but if I want to ever feel safe, if I ever want my friends to feel safe, this is something I have to do. Like I said in the hotel. There is never any choice. There is only destiny. And once again, I have to accept mine."

Lisa's red eyes shined in the candlelight like she was holding back tears. "I'm proud of you, Chrystal. You are so brave. I'll let the others know at once, and send the seamstress up to talk about your gown with you. You'll have to meet her at the door, of course."

I nodded again. "Thank you, Lisa."

"It is my pleasure," she answered, then turned to leave, a pep in her step that hadn't been there before.

I sighed, sat back down on the bed, and continued practicing my magic, knowing I had to be ready for anything now that I'd agreed. My vision could only be days away, and I wasn't going to be caught off guard this time.

This time, I would fight.