Story of Destruction and Chaos

Chapter 20

"I was at the park, it was around two or three in the morning, and I was having some really bad thoughts," I began, trying to remember the entire thing.

"Hermes flashed in and we began talking, and... uh... we kissed," I mumbled.

"What?" Eta asked flatly, his voice low.

I looked away in embarrassment. Dove and Forger were gaping at me. Order looked torn between being mad and being confused. Chaos kept his head low and his gaze on the ground.

"I-it just happened, I honestly- I don't know," I stuttered out, avoiding the others' gazes.

"Did you stop him?" Eta asked, his tone accusatory.

"N-no, but-"

"There's no excuse!" Order yelled suddenly.

I stumbled back, looking around the room. Chaos still kept his head low and the others looked mad and /or disappointed.

"Order, I swear, it didn't mean anything, and yes, it was a mutual kiss, but that doesn't mean anything! I swear, I love Chaos and the whole thing with Hermes was a mistake," I whispered beggingly, tears gathering in my eyes.

"Just because it was a mistake and you didn't mean anything doesn't mean it hurt Chaos any less," Order hissed, crossing her arms.

I bit my lip, not knowing what to do. I felt embarrassed and hated myself for starting anything with Hermes. I was such an idiot, I had hurt Chaos and I was nothing but a burden on everybody around me. I hurt the people around me and I was worthless.

Would they even care if I died?

"I-I'm sorry," I whispered quietly, turning away and walking out of the room.

I heard an incoherent conversation fading away as I slowly went to my room. I had made a huge mistake with Hermes, but I hadn't thought it would be that important for the team.

Chaos hadn't minded, at least not much, but did he stiffle his emotions just to appear okay? I honestly didn't know what to do at that point.

I felt so horrible and disgusted with myself. Why had I ever done something like that? I absolutely despised myself.

There was a knock on the door as it opened. Chaos entered, his arms wrapped around himself, and sat down next to me on my bed. He stared at the floor, not saying or doing anything.

"I-I'm sorry," I murmured, nearly too quiet to be heard.

Chaos looked up at me, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

"You didn't mean it. It's alright," he mumbled.

"No, it's not. It's my fault, I fucked up, I can't apologize enough. It was one stupid mistake I made, and I hate Hermes for everything," I whispered breathlessly.

"Don't worry, I already accepted your apology when you apologized directly after the kiss, and it's alright now," Chaos told me softly.

I wordlessly wrapped my arms around Chaos, holding him closer to me. He was surprised for a second before wrapping his arms around me as well.

I felt him softly sob, trying to supress any more sobs.

"It's okay, you can cry when you need to," I whispered comfortingly, holding Chaos tighter and closer.

His body shook with sobs, tears dripping down his face. Chaos kept his head hidden in my shoulder as he cried.

After a while, he had stopped sobbing and just hid his face in my shoulder.

"Do you feel better?" I asked in a whispered.

Chaos gave a small nod against my shoulder. He finally looked up and leaned against me with an arm wrapped around my waist.