Story of Destruction and Chaos

Chapter 18

(Enby Chay!!)

<DESTRUCTION'S POV>

I felt horrible. Chaos felt like my trauma invalidated theirs? And, worse but not fucking least, it was all because of me?

Chaos was already awake and up. I was lying in bed, thinking back to all of my horrible life choices.

You know, a normal Friday.

I shivered as goosebumps raised on my arms from the cold. I finally stretched and got up.

"Morning," I greeted Chay.

"Good 2a.m. to you, too," they responded.

"Damn, seriously?" I asked in surprise.

"Ww went to bed around four or five, obviously we slept a lot."

"True, I guess," I replied.

"Let's go downstairs," Chaos suggested.

I nodded and smiled slightly, grabbing a blanket and wrapping it around myself before heading down after Chaos.

They tugged on the blanket and I let go of the corner. Chaos wrapped it around themself and wrapped their other arm around me.

The team -bar Star- was sitting around in the living room in their pajamas, holding cups of coffee.

"Hi," I greeted awkwardly.

The team turned to me and greeted me back. I shot a quick, anxious look at Chaos.

"The team wanted to talk to you. Would you prefer together or separately?" They asked.

"I- uhm- together," I stuttered.

They -Chaos- nodded and sat down, waving me over.

I was so fucking awkward.

"So, you all know everything, right?" I asked them.

"Yeah, unless Chaos missed or didn't tell us something," Eta said bitterly.

Chaos put their hand on Eta's shoulder. He looked down.

"I don't know what exactly they told you, but I trust that they told you everything," I responded.

Chaos shot me a quick smile.

"I honestly don't know what to say, do you guys have questions or anything?" I asked anxiously, fiddling with my fingers in anxiety.

Chaos ran a hand through my hair and secured the blanket around me. Eta and Dove raised their hands.

"Uh, Dove?"

"How're you doing? You don't have to reply if you don't want to, of course," she quickly reassured.

I winced and wrapped my arms around myself.

"I was doing bareable to manageable until Annabeth. I- my PTSD was getting in the way, but I was doing fine, mostly. But now... I'm still itching to cut, and I wanna curl up and die," I shrugged, deciding that lying wouldn't do anything.

The room was tense and everybody had a forced calm.

"Is there anything we can do?" Forger asked softly.

I shrugged.

"No," I answered.

I turned to Eta and nodded.

"Why didn't you tell us? I thought you trusted us," Eta whispered.

"Eta, I do trust you, it's just that I don't want or like to talk about it," I responded.