L.M.I. My Second Tenderness

Chapter 13: Tension

Chapter 13: Tension

Wait! Lian is beautiful. As always but when she stared at me now, I had the feeling that I wanted to take a photo of her and place it as my cellphone background but my courageousness was off. That's why the plan of mine was just in my stupid imagination.

After buying those streetfoods, I told Lian if we can walk home right now. The time's already 8:45 PM and I'm a bit yawning, sign of sleepiness.

"We'll walk home but have to join me ok?" Her request to me.

I said, "Yeah, of course, I won't leave you."

"I'm just scared right? I already told you that most of my male friends leave me like I'm just nothing." Lian's reply.

"I'm not like that Lian. I love you right?" I said.

She stopped and her mouth opened up as if she got shocked and whispered, "You love me?"

I still don't have the strength to tell my feelings so I said, "I love you as my bestie!"

"You know what, you're handsome and you're attractive that's why many girls in our school always get crazy seeing you." Said by Lian.

"Am I handsome? I can't believe someone said that to me."

I think I'm enjoying this walk so much going home even  my legs get weary. Lian is my source of strength.

At last, we have arrived in our destination. Currently, me and Lian  are just in the gate of her house.

Before she got in, we had a fast conversation.

"So bye for now." I said

"Not yet. Bye now but see you in class tomorrow." She replied.

Then she got in and I walked my way home. As I walked, I came to a small alley that is dark and dim. No other guy is in here except me. Later, it rained which annoyed me because I didn't have an umbrella. There's no choice left but to siege the rain so I'm getting wet and then the flood suddenly came a few minutes later. My home is still far away and it seems unlikely to get home early. Shit! I'm doomed again. For sure my brother is gonna scold me for going home late.

10 minutes later, the rain subsided to my delight. Thank God I can finally get home now. I'm going home nervous because I'll be hearing again my brother's loud and irritating voice.

As I've stepped in our house's gate, the lights eventually turned on and my brother opened the door for me. He yelled "Why are you late dumb?" I answered, suppressing my feelings, "Brother, it's raining outside hardly and now you're going to scold me again? I hope you said hello to me first before you hit me with your sharp words."

I went inside the house frustrated but what can I do? It already happened. All I've got to do is just accept it rather. This is always happening again and again everytime I go home late. I'll be scolded without knowing what really happened at me at the first place.

I went up my room like I had problematic issues because I got annoyed again. But I'm already kinda used to it but it really just boils my ear.

For my irritation to decrease, I picked my earphones on my study table and placed it on both sides of my two ears. I inserted the earphones' port on my phone's and started playing various songs.

My best choices were:

*There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back by Shawn Mendes
*Come Inside Of My Heart by IV of Spades
*I Love You So by The Walters
*Cupid by Fifty Five
*If I Fell by The Beatles
*Yummy by Justin Bieber

Actually, I also love listening to old music 'coz they hit different, like I mean, they have meaningful messages. I'm a fan of The Beatles, The Rolling Stones and even Elvis Presley. Also, Shawn Mendes, Coldplay and Justin Bieber (modern singers).

I increase the volume of my phone but not in the highest, maybe only about 70-80%. I don't want to hear anything but just every word of the songs's lyrics.

Later on, I felt sleepy and it's 9 in the evening. I first chatted Lian to say, "Goodnight" and she has seen it immediately. She typed and replied, "Goodnight too!"

My delightness functioned again. I'm smiling while preparing myself for bed. Sweet dreams!

(The Next Day)

I woke up with a great mood onto my face. It was a great evening and I had a pleasant sleep. It's now time for classes and I'll be meeting Lian again.

As I went down, my brother is there and my face turned in pale because we are still not in good terms. With that, as if we were strangers.

Before going out of my house, my eye itched and my brother called my name, "John?" I turned my back to gaze at him. He said, "Be safe traveling to school. I already prepared your early lunch." "Thanks brother." I answered.

Gosh! What was that? I'm just glad for that statement of him.

While walking, I saw Lian not that far but maybe a few distance away. My tension hit me until my nerves when I saw her together with Jolmin. It made me overthink but damn. I'm slightly blinking my eyes to prevent my jealousy. Really, I cant' stand on seeing both of them. I can't stop it, my mind thinks of those "what if's" again.

Later on, my friend, Jhay swung his arm right next to my shoulder which grabbed my consciousness.

"You okay bro?" He asked. "Of course, feeling healthy." My reply. Looks like he can't accept my answer because my face now looks really upset. I just can't tell him, I'm frustrated seeing Lian together with Jolmin.

Jhay rushed leaving me being jealous. But I don't have any toughness to get near.
I don't want disappointment at the point that I'll be ignored because they enjoy to be with each other. I have nothing to do but just to manage this jealousy I carry.

At school, I keep looking at Jolmin's moves once he steps near to Lian. I'm really afraid of losing her so I have to check of who is being with her.

I also came at a point were I stalk Jolmin always. Sometimes, I ask him if they're close with Lian. He replies, "Not really" but I doubbt it most of the time.

Going home, I asked Lian if I can walk her home. She refused and said that she'll be with Abi and Jolmin together with their friends, Rhea and Delly.

I had nothing to do but let her. I went home together with Scafford, Bert, and Zac.

Without the knowledge of Lian, Abi, Jolmin and other of her friends, I decided to follow them to verify my hypothesis. When me, Zac, Scafford and Bert came out of the gate of our school, I told them that I'll be using a different lane going home but I just hid in a nearby electric post and waited for them to get far. As I spotted Lian, going afar, I followed quietly.

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