Love Lives and Lies

Fall Freshman Year- 2

Chapter 5

I've had a hard time settling into the college routine. Classes are easy and volleyball is going relatively well. I just struggle with the social aspects of everything.

My roommate, Mya, is a party girl who likes to go out drinking every night. I haven't talked to Alyson since the scholarship weekend and I think that bridge might be burned already. All I have is the volleyball team and most of the time I just don't feel like I fit in.

I'm incredibly awkward and nerdy. I just happen to be good at volleyball too. My social skills aren't up to par with everyone else on the team.

I know that Clarissa, Lizzy, and I have gotten close, but they're close with a lot of girls on the team, not just me. I feel like I constantly have to work harder than anyone else just to have someone I can eat lunch with every day.

Things would be so much easier if I just kept in contact with the people from the scholarship weekend. They're much more my speed socially. I've made my bed though unfortunately and I guess I have to keep pushing myself to be more social and sucking up to the athletes on campus.

One good thing that's come from college though is that I've learned how to do my hair and makeup. I've also lost a few pounds and gained more muscle from all the crazy volleyball workouts. My wardrobe has improved thanks to a few shopping trips with the girls and I'm starting to feel more confident with my looks.

Someone has to notice me now, right?.

I see all the football players show up to the volleyball games to cheer on the team. I know they're not there for our personalities though. It's the spandex and skin tight uniforms.

The guys always come to the court after the games to talk to their girls. I'm never one of those girls though. Some of the other freshmen on the team have fallen into step with the upperclassmen and are super tight with the football players already. I see them laughing and flirting with them and I get so jealous that all of this comes easy to them.

I'm only just figuring out what perfume I like let alone how to talk to a hot football player without embarrassing myself.

I just dream one day that a guy will show up to a game for me.

Maybe I'll invite Cody to one of my games. I doubt his parents will let him come, but it's worth a try.

With my resolve set, I try to pick up my mood and decide to text Cody tonight to see if he's up for a road trip.

I get back to our locker room and change out of my uniform. I throw on sweats and a hoodie because the weather is getting colder now that it's October. The season will be coming to an end in only a few weeks.

Next stop is the dorm since we all ate a team dinner together before the game. I try to wait around for Clarissa and Lizzy, but there's no sight of them and I don't want to look like a loser just standing around waiting for them.

I sigh, grab my bag, and make my way back towards the dorms. I pull out my phone once I make it outside and of course there's no messages for me. There never are.

I open up my texts with Cody. We're talking less now that I'm busy with college and our last messages are from last week when we caught up on the past few weeks' events. I send him a text asking if he wants to come down for a game before the season is over. I wait to see if he's going to respond right away, but it doesn't look like he will.

I'm starting to feel a bit down. All this effort to make and keep friends is really taking a toll on me. I wish I could've gone to college with my friends from high school and I wouldn't need to worry about this. Unfortunately, that's not the case.