Gavi & Pedri imagines

Confidence- Pablo Gavi

Before meeting Pablo I used to hate the way I looked I compared myself to everyone and was always finding new things I didn't like about my appearance or my personality to the point that my self confidence was non existent. That all changed when I met Pablo though as he didn't see any of the problems I saw with myself which made me realise that maybe they aren't so much of a big deal after all. He only boosted my self confidence more when we began dating as he would always compliment the things that I hated the most about myself without any prompting which again boosted my self esteem. Once he found out how much I hated some parts of myself he tried his best to get me to stop comparing myself and love myself the way I am and he was very good at it.

After being together for a few months I felt really good about myself to the point that I felt comfortable wearing things I wouldn't have done before and I didn't try and hide away when out in public which was a really big step. What really helped is that Pablo never judged me for how I was feeling and didn't get annoyed if some days I felt worse than others as the last thing I needed was to feel bad about having a bad day. He was also really good at encouraging me when I made a step like the time I felt good enough to wear a bikini to the beach he complimented me loads and made me feel completely comfortable.

I really thought that I'd got over my insecurities after only having the odd bad day and overall feeling confident about myself. That was until everything came crashing down at once with Pablo and I making our relationship public and then everything with the princess coming out. To start with it didn't bother me but when it got to the point that every time I went on my phone I was seeing people compare me to the princess or comment on the way I looked it got too much. I have always seen the odd comment but now that every other comment is about something I already didn't like about myself it makes it harder to keep the positive mindset that I've had for the past few months.

As much as the comments have been getting to me I've been trying to hide it as Pablo is busy with training so he doesn't need to worry about me and how stupid I'm being for letting other peoples comments get to me. It is hard to hide it from him though as he can read me like a book and always knows when I'm lying so I've had to try and act as normal as possible. Part of me feels bad for not telling Pablo how I'm feeling as I know he would want me to tell him but I know that he doesn't need anything else to worry about at the moment and I don't want to stress him out any more.

Today has been the absolute worst though as Pablo has been away all day as he had training this morning and then this evening he had the premiere of the new Barcelona documentary so I've been alone in the apartment all day. On any normal day I'd be fine I'd probably go on a walk and do some university work but today I couldn't stop myself looking at my phone. Yesterday Pablo posted a picture of the two of us from a little at home date we did and I've spent my day reading through the comments and looking at what people are saying on reposts too. Pretty much every other comment is about my body, my face or how Pablo could do so much better than me and honestly I believe them as I'm not exactly anyone special nor am I the prettiest girl out there.

Spending all day reading comments was definitely an awful decision as by the end of the day I found myself stood in front of the mirror looking at everything I hate about myself. Anything that wasn't pointed out in the comments I definitely looked at in the mirror and thought about what people would have said if they noticed which was just me saying awful things about myself in reality. In the end I couldn't stop tears falling down my face after thinking for so long about how everyone hates me including myself. Once the tears started they didn't stop so I just ended up sat on the floor in front of the mirror with floods of tears running down my face. The only good thing about it was that I couldn't see the comments anymore as my eyes were so filled with tears so I couldn't keep reading things that would make me cry more.

I don't even know how long I was sat in front of the mirror crying but it was long enough for it to be pitch black outside and in the bedroom but I wasn't going to get up and turn a light on as then I'd be able to see in the mirror again. I was so in my own world that I didn't hear the front door open and close nor did I hear Pablo calling my name until he ran into the bedroom panicked trying to find me. He turned the light on and straight away was relieved to see me but I couldn't bare to look at him as then I'd have to explain why I was crying and that didn't sound like something I wanted to do. I tried my best to talk to him but of course my voice came out all broken and croaky which gave it away straight away.

He came over and sat on the floor in front of me and put a hand under my chin to get me to look at him which I didn't want to but I did as I knew he wouldn't give up. Just seeing his face made me cry more as he took one look at me and I could see in his eyes that he felt bad and that's the reason I was hiding my feelings as I knew he'd feel responsible. Still no words were exchanged as he pulled me into his lap and wiped my tears before hugging me tightly to calm me down. Hearing his heartbeat as my head rested in his chest eventually helped calm me down enough to be able to talk.

"Baby what's wrong?" He asked

"The comments" I replied handing him my phone

"Why didn't you tell me people were saying these things?" He asked

"I didn't want to stress you out any more than you already are" I admitted

"Oh love I don't care about that I would rather you tell me and then we could fix it together so please tell me everything" he said

"Since we went public and all the stuff with the princess I've been reading the comments a lot more and they say I'm all these things and honestly I believe them I mean look at me you deserve someone so much better" I rambled

"Love please stop saying things like that you are the most beautiful person I've ever met and nothing will change my mind on that not 10 comments not a million comments and not to mention that you are the light of my life which is why no one will ever be better for me that you" he said

"You really mean that" I said

"Of course I do" he said

He pulled me up from the floor and we stood in front of the mirror together and he complimented every part of my body and face that he knows I don't like until I was smiling again. Once he was satisfied that I was feeling happier he picked me up and brought me to our bed where we both got in and he held me close until I fell asleep with a slight smile on my face knowing that I ended up with the best boyfriend in the world.