tidal wave

~ chapter 8 ~

"Oh yeah, that's true" Another thing for me to have to do this summer Bre thought.

The rest of the day went by pretty quickly after Bre went and got changed then they had dinner and she went to sleep. No more awkward conversations with Conrad she just stuck to talking to Belly and that's all.

Bre didn't want to let anyone down, she had grown up thinking of she did one thing wrong her Dad would leave on some adventure and never come back and that became her reality. So when she moved in with the Conklin she felt the same way, if she didn't get the best grade or if Belly hurt herself when Bre was with her. Anything negative Bre took on her shoulders, and so she would treat this scenario like any other. To protect the Belly.

Bre found herself sitting in the living room on her Laptop. Looking through student dorms at Stanford, she wanted to ask Laurel but could never find the time or the courage. Any other time Bre would've just asked but she didn't want to ruin the summer.

"What you looking at?" Belly said sitting down next to Bre.

"Oh, just dorms for a college I was hoping to go to," Bre said casually, She didn't want Bwlly to know otherwise everyone would.

"Cool, so Stanford is the one you're looking at going to then?" Belly said pointing at the Stanford logo in the corner.

Bre awkwardly smiled.

"Just ask Mom, she's not gonna say no," Belly whispered.

"She will though, and it's far away. Like you'd all have to get on a plane" Bre said trying to convince herself that she didn't need to go.

"Exactly, you need this independence" Belly laughs.

"If I leave you'll be getting up to all sorts of mischief same with Steven," Bre said laughing.

"You'll always be our older sister, you just need to grow," Belly said nestling her head into Bre's shoulder.

"Now show the other options because you need way more space than that for books," Belly said.

Moments like these Bre thought she could ask Laurel and she'd be fine but others she knew she wouldn't.

The two girls scrolled through all the forms and found the perfect one, and as Belly said it was approved by her. But all Bre could think was this would be another thing she'd be doing alone.

"Can you girls lay the table please?" Laurel asked.

Bre jumped shutting her laptop and going to do it to make sure Laurel didn't see what she was doing.

"That was quick" Laurel laughed, it took her a few minutes to get either of the girls to do something.

"Just really in the mood to set the table," Bre joked.

As the families sat down for dinner the conversations were the usual ones. The boys talked about what had happened in their day and the mothers installed their words of wisdom.

"It's your first day at the Deb tomorrow are you girls nervous?" Jeremiah asked he had a smirk across his face. It was the usual one more like his specialty smirk now.

"I'm okay, nervous but okay," Belly said taking a sip of her drink.

"I don't really know how to feel but I'm there for the experience," Bre said confidently.

"That's you, all for the experience" Conrad laughed.

"What do you mean by that?" Bre asked annoyed that he is so petty to bring stuff up in front of everyone.

"You. Everything is for the experience, right? Like getting a job for what a day. Then I didn't know how to get into Stanford but not tell anyone. Was that for the experience too?" Conrad spat.

"You are an asshole," Bre said before leaving. She was shaking with anger. But the one place she could walk to was the beach.

The beach was Bre's heaven at night. The moon shone on the ocean then the sand was so soft you could fall through it. It made Bre fall in love with being here every time.

"Breanna!" Someone shouted but Bre could recognise that voice from anywhere.

"I know I should've told you. I know" Bre shouted back not taking her eyes off the Ocean.

"No, you should have come to me. You should have spoken to me. Bre you're meant to be starting college in a few months, did you expect me to not ask and then send you on a plane?" Laurel said yelling.

"Because I knew you'd say no. Every single time I bring up college if it isn't within an hour's drive you say it's too long. Not even starting on the fact Stanford is a plane ride away. And honestly, I didn't think I'd get in let alone get the scholarships I applied to. So yell all you want, I already know it" Bre shouted back. 

"How come Conrad knew? And Susannah and Belly?" Laurel shouted. 

"I was trying to get a plan together to ask you. Standford is my dream school" Bre mumbled. 

"What did you say?" Laurel asked. 

"Stanford is my dream school. Where do you expect me to go to college or did you just expect me to stay around to look after Belly?" Bre shouted everything she'd ever thought was spilling out.

"Breanna don't you dare say that. You've not told me that Stanford is your dream school or even you felt that way. Maybe give me a few days to think about this then we can come to some compromise" Laurel said resting her hand on Bre's shoulder. 

"No. I'm not holding my life back so you can make another decision on my life. I do everything for everyone. I'm sick and tired of it. I'm sick of secrets and not talking about things. God, I want to say so many things to you right now but I can't" Bre said shrugging Laurel's hand off of her. 

" Bre what do you want to say to me? You like Conrad?" Laurel asked, Did Laurel think this was all about Conrad Bre thought herself. 

"You like Conrad?" Belly said from behind them both. She had tears in her eyes.  They'd been concentrating on each other they hadn't seen Belly come outside. 

Before Bre could say anything Belly had started crying and started walking back to the house. Bre didn't even think before running after her. 

"Belly!" Bre shouted. 

"You knew. You Knew I liked him. God I've had a crush on him all summer" Belly said wiping her tears. 

"I'm sorry" Bre whispered. 

"Why? Couldn't you like Finn?" Belly asked. The anger that was consuming Bre was nearly coming to a boil. 

"So you can like him but I can't? God Belly. I've liked Conrad since we were four. But hey I'll lose my feelings for him for you. Because that's what I'm supposed to do right. As your big sister. I thought you liked Jeremiah or maybe Cam that boy from the party?" Bre snapped. Any thought about Belly came out in a second. 

Belly looked at Bre like she didn't even know her. 

"You aren't my sister so what can I expect right?" Belly said before walking back to the house. 

Bre's feelings felt valid. She never felt like she belonged and now it's finally settling in because she didn't. Belly only pretended they were sisters when it was convenient not that it was that they were. 

The rest of the night was simple. Bre went back inside grabbed her laptop and locked herself in her room. And went to sleep like many nights before. Crying.