Stay With Me Forever

Chapter 18

Three days! Has it only been three days since Mr. Carlton agreed to leave me alone? It feels like weeks.

I don't see him at all now, which is an absurd thing to say when I'm his secretary and he is literally in the next room. But we rarely speak, he leaves early for work which means I come by myself in some other car arranged for me. I feel like such a burden.

And I miss him. God, how I miss him. His dimpled smile, the gentle and caring way he looks at me and speaks to me and his teasing. You would never believe it, but his teasing is what I miss the most.

It makes me feel alive and carefree and happy. I feel like a girl, and I forget the burdens of my world, and most of all, I forget that he is my boss. Instead, he becomes my irritating, adorable Mr. Carlton.

Wow. I'm talking like a lovesick young girl. Grow up, Ashley! The fact is that he is your boss, and he is out of my league.  End of story!

But I still miss him. So very much. I thought, putting my chin in my hand and resting my elbow on my desk.

Just then, like a strong breeze, Mr. Carlton entered my office, barking his usual orders, taking my breath away with his musky scent. I sat there, completely mute, watching him walk past me. At his door, he paused, turning to me.

"Did you hear what I said, Ms Sanders." He asked in his emotionless voice.I just nodded, with my eyes glued to him. "Good, get it all done in an hour and send the details to me." He ordered before walking into his office and shutting his door.

That's right. I'm now Ms. Sanders again. I refused to call him anything other than Mr. Carlton, so now we are both back to our sir names. Which is for the best, I assured myself.

It would create more distance and get rid of this fondness that's creeped into our hearts, making way for wishful thinking. We are adults, and we should keep our thinking practical. And I should get back to work and stop rambling nonsense in my head all day...

...........

With a sign, I walked inside the mansion at half past six. Yet another day where Mr. Carlton stayed back to work and probably will be coming home after having dinner.

I wonder who he is having dinner with? Is it a girl? Is it Sasha! I instantly felt a strong  surge of jealousy that took my breath away and left my chest hurting.

Stop it, Ashley. You are strong. Mr. Carlton deserves someone so much better than you. And you know very well that from top to bottom you a bad news. He will be just as unhappy with you as David had been. And not to mention the danger you have already put him in. If a day comes when he gets hurt because of you, you will never be able to forgive yourself.

And there is Liam. He has always craved for a father's love, care, and support. Going on a simple date with Mr. Carlton can even put ideas into Liam's head. That's another pressure that I don't want to put on Mr. Carlton's head.

So grow up and stay strong and, if possible, leave this mansion as soon as possible. Staying here isn't good for anybody, I thought as I walked upstairs and made my way to my room.

After freshening up, I went and knocked on Liam's door. After he answered, I went inside. He was lying on his bed with his headphones in his ear, typing something on his phone.

"Liam, don't you have homework?" I asked him, taking a seat on his bed.

"I took a break, mom." He said with his eyes still glued to his phone.

"Ok. So how was school?"

"Busy."

"Weekend is here. What are you going to be doing?"

"I have practice, but other than that, I'm just hanging here, mom. Why?" He asked me, finally putting his phone down and looking at me.

"Nothing. Just wanted to spend time with you, I guess. We haven't done anything together lately."

"Yeah, it's hard to do anything these days." He replied with a shrug.

"Yeah... You miss home?" I asked him.

"Of course I do. I miss weekend movie marathons with you, I miss going and hanging out in Jeremy's house...I miss our monthly dinner out and even eating ice cream in our pj's at home." He said with a sad smile.

"Honey, I'm sorry for all this." I told him sadly.

"It's not your fault, mom. But dad's in jail, so why are we still staying here? Not that I mind. Oliver's great. I love hanging out with him and all.."

"Wait, you hang out with him? When?" I asked, feeling alarmed. Have I become so negligent with my son, I haven't noticed him spending time with Mr. Carlton?

"Every day, actually. Until recently, that is." He said with a frown, tilting his head to the side. "After he comes back from work, he calls me down to throw hoops. He said that tomorrow we could play together with Phil and Felix early in the morning. But it's been a couple of days since he hasn't come home until late so I don't really know about tomorrow." He told me with another shrug while looking down at his lap. He looked disappointed, and this is exactly what I was afraid of.

These people weren't going to stay in his life forever, but he would easily get attached to them. We really should go back home before someone seriously gets hurt.

"It's time for dinner, I think." I told him, checking the time.

"Yeah, let's go, I'm starving!" He said, suddenly getting cheerful, with the mention of food. He jumped out of bed and ran out enthusiastically.

I followed him in a much slower phase, not that excited about the prospect of food. I have lost all interest in food of late. My meals have reduced to ones a day. I hadn't noticed before, but my clothes too have started to become too loose. This David headache has added so much stress in my life. My body can't handle it anymore.

After dinner, where I only picked at my food while Liam chatted happily and had himself a real feast, we decided to watch movies on the laptop together. After all, it was the weekend, and we hadn't gotten to spend any time together. I decided to pretend to forget about his homework that he had taken a break from and never got back to. I will bug him about it on Sunday evening. For now, it's mother and son time...