"AAAH!"
"OPEN THE DOOR!"
"WOW, I DIDN'T THINK OF THAT. THANKS, EINSTEIN."
"WELL, YOU'RE JUST STOOD THERE SCREAMING AT IT! SOMEONE NEEDED TO TELL YOU TO MOVE!"
"STOP ARGIUNG, WE HAVE MORE PRESSING ISSUES!" UK finally screamed at her brothers, causing both England and Scotland to jump slightly (well, Scott jumped slightly, England panicked and fell over into yet another candle and lit his trousers on fire-). "Someone call 999!"
[999 is the British emergency services number, for those who don't know.]
"Oh... didn't think of that..." England shrugged, pulling out his mobile phone from the pocket of his now charred shorts.
"You... didn't think of that?"
"I panicked... Sorry..."
"England!" Brit sighed, rolling her eyes at her brother.
"Well?! What was I supposed to do?!"
"REMEMBER TO CALL THE EMERGENCY SERVICES, OBVIOUSLY!"
"Alright, England, just do it, and stop bickering, you idiots. We need the house to be put out before my rock army gets burned!" Scott snapped, coughing and wafting away what little of the smoke he could as flames ravaged the room, now licking the ceiling with their devilish heat.
"Wow, Scott... You really care about your rock collection more than us..."
"Oi, they're an army, not a collection. With that attitude of yours, of course I love them more. Don't be surprised, England."
"You sound like someone's grandma."
"You sounded like a piglet on helium when you were squealing earlier, I don't think I'm the issue here."
". . .
Alright, you win."
***
"Lads?" UK asked, spluttering and covering her face with her sleeve.
"Mmm?"
"Are we... underreacting slightly, do you think?"
"Maybe," Scott answered, as the pair stared at the ruins around them, amazed that any of the house remained at all; the fire brigade had halted the fire as quickly as possible, but the living room and the bathroom had been ransacked by the fire before anyone could save them. Meanwhile, England had been rescuing his favourite mug from the rubble, Wales and North had been eating popcorn, and UK and Scott had been casually discussing the view over the moors that the building had been previously blocking.
"Almost certainly," England nodded.
"Yes. You absolutely are," sighed the firefighter, who turned out to be an irritable NATO working his second job.
"Oh well, bros!" FBI grinned, also emerging from the fire truck, "...Bros, UK and Wales, I mean. Anyway, dudes and dudettes, wanna stay with me for a while? I'll charge rent, but I'll buy you all McDonalds every Tuesday!"
"Why are you a walking stereotype now...?" NATO sighed, rolling his eyes at his best friend, who seemed to have miraculously become the most American American in all of America.
"...Shut up, Nate. Anyway, bros, the offer still stands if you wanna have my spare rooms!"
"I think we'll pass, thanks," North interjected, frowning more deeply than usual, as if FBI had failed her personal inspection.
"Ok, see ya, guys! Nate, lets go!" FBI grinned, dragging an exasperated NATO away with him, back into the van.
"North!" Scott whisper-yelled, "You just lost us our one place to stay! What are we supposed to do now, you absolute bufoon?!"
"Oh, don't worry," North grinned, cackling, "I have a plan you'll all like even more..."
YOU ARE READING
A Truly British Christmas
FanfictionIn a world where her family is falling apart, UK is facing a desolate Christmas alone. Her siblings have long abandoned each other, any harmony that once existed between them long since decayed away. However, is all hope really lost? In these trying...
