Stay Silent

Mehaja

                          PRESENT DAY

     It's always bloody evening. My little one seems to be doing alright during daytime. But she complains of heart flutter as soon as evening starts. Somebody has to stay through the night with Cera. We don't wanna traumatize her any further. Her parents thinks we should send her back. But Oskar is adamant about keeping her here under his care. When you live long enough like I do, you would probably say time would heal everything but it's been bloody two months. MRI, CT, Ultrasound... You name it, everything shows she is  normal and her heart beating fine. What befallen on her in that ruddy woods, only God knows. Even Oskar seems little bit off since his trip into th woods. Maybe he carrying the guilt in his mom's place I don't know. Samara says he talks in his sleep about moonlight and some flower stuff. Now we avoid to even glance at the distant woods.
After the long wait, we took her to psychologist not psychiatrist. I don't know about any shrimp business. All I know my Cera is sane and not any strings loose in her head. But HER EYES... those are not normal ever since her expedition into the woods. My Cera used to have deep black color eyes. I could look into her eyes as far as that deepness go with her dark lashes. Maybe it's just me spotting that difference, I couldnt tell it to others for they will worry too much. I have been confused for a while now. After dinner, Martha was washing the dishes while I replaced the runout dish washing liquid. I almost slipped onto the spilled liquid, Martha that sturdy maid she is, lifted me by holding me up by my underarms as I steadied myself I couldn't help but look into her eyes. I was completely taken back by the color of her eyes. THOSE were exactly like Cera's. Cera's right eye now has bluish rim around the pupil while left one has golden brownish hue around the pupil but when you caught it in sudden glance they look like deeper black like usual but I know they are not. Martha's eyes looks the same but deeper color than Cera. Martha knew I was looking into her eyes, like shame fell on her, she turned her face away. "Your eyes. They are different", I said. "I inherited it from my father", she said looking somewhere. "Do they affect vision?", it was my primary concern. I didn't know my eldest's husband has funny colored eyes or not. "No.. Absolutely not. My vision 20/20. I'm quite proud of it", Martha said as she wrapping up with the dishes.

Now that my husband watching over Cera. I lay back, watching the bedside photo of my eldest daughter. That photo has me plaiting her long black hair. Those were the times that lost and I hope I cherished it well. Soon sleep hits my eyes. When you age, you would think your sleep could be the last sleep of your life. That thought has been haunting me for a while. But I'm putting up much effort to stay like a solid beam next to my family not the one fading away in the bed. As I was dozing off, January snow was falling like rabid outside the window. As usual my demented husband has left a small creak of window open. Cold air pricking my skin awoken me. For the window to close completely, I had to open a bit, as I pulled it, I sprang it fully open by mistake. But that damn window is not sliding like butter, it stuck and I had to battle it in this cold weather. During my struggle, I let my gaze fall on some distant tree, except that it was pitch black outside, white snow almost glistening on the tree tops. I spotted something on a tree nearest to the barn, it was sitting or standing God knows it wasn't moving. All I could make out that outline was more darker than surrounding, pair of eyes glistened blue. Maybe I'm going senile. At that sight, I pulled the windows harder, completely shutting it down. With exhaustion, I fell on the bed, my forehead was hit on the bedpost. I managed to lay down properly grabbing my forehead which now wincing with terrible pain. Funny thing with old age, sleep took over me. I snoozed off.