Stay Silent

Samara

            I couldn't wash off my guilt. My love for Cera is no less than a mother loving her own child. I had given up the idea of having my own long ago but Mom wouldn't hear the end of it. I married my husband out of necessity not for love. We have been great friends from school times and I respect him a lot. It was mutual decision of us not to have a kid but Mom planned otherwise. I agreed to take care of Cera. Funny thing it really did change Oskar's mind. It wasn't easy for me to conceive now. Treatments are no joke. I had to endure it. Picking up Cera from school and packing her lunch was Oskar favorite thing but never once he shown it to others. Cera calls him her grumpy uncle. Oskar would take her to our pharmacy and would make her sit still and would criticize her drawing skills. Cera is all about her Nanny and won't let go of her skirt. It would make me jealous. Now Cera is part of our routine. But everything changed when we let her roam around on her own. It happened two months ago......
  

                  TWO MONTHS AGO

    It was cold November evening, Oskar parents stayed with us that week. My mother in law thinks that we are going to adopt Cera ( as if my dear sister would agree) and would let her inherit  everything we own down to our pharmacy. She thinks and speaks too much. It would annoy my mother greatly. She always acts cold to my dear niece. Oskar done his part (as he claims) explaining to his mother that how much Cera means to us. She would say that if we are going to adopt, we should adopt Dianne my third sister in law's younger son, Junlo. Most of the times we would laugh it off, never letting her have her own way with us. That damn evening, Oskar's mom spoke rashly to a young girl of eleven years old. Cera trembled at her words,ran straight upstairs. We were busy arguing downstairs, no one went to check on her. To soothe the strained environment Papa suggested early dinner. It was Oskar who went to call Cera down. The look on his face was terrible when he came down. "Lights on in her room. Windows wide open. No trace of her in the room", he looked unsteady while saying it. Papa hurried upstairs searched every nook and corner. We all swore to never having seen her if she went past us downstairs. She must have used the windows to get down. Maybe she went to check on her pet lamb. Without bothering about the cold outside, wearing thin jacket, Oskar hurried to the barn. Next neighbor lives atleast a few kilometers from us. Next to our barn, within few kilometers, a dark unruly forest lays spreading around the home. We made sure she wouldn't climb over fence. She promised. During last rainfall, there was a great damage to the fence, we are yet to repair it. Each one of us carried torch and marched to the forest edge. Since it was winter, late evening couldn't be any darker than that day.