UNLOCKED - LANDO NORRIS [Book 3]

06

"You answered?" I gasped.

He chuckles, "Did you not think I would?"

"I wasn't sure" I whispered my confession.

"Ev, even if you called in a years time, at 3 in the morning, I'd still answer you. I'd always answer you"

My hand flies to the edge of my hair where it meets my forehead, holding it back in shock. "Really?"

"You don't understand how much I care for you, do you?" He mumbles.

"I remembered something today. Outside of a dream" I admit to him.

"You did?" He gasps hopeful.

"It was nothing massive, but I was with Johan and I got a flashback, of him helping me pick out an outfit to wear on a date with you"

"You remembered it was with me?" He asks eagerly.

"I did" it barely comes out.

I hear him let out a shaky breath. "That's really good, Ev" he almost sounds like he's on the verge of tears. "Did they finally allow Johan some time off to come visit you did they?"

Oh shit

"Umm" I hesitate. "No" I answer wearily. "I'm in Brazil"

He stays quiet after that, but it's almost like I can feel the tension through the phone.

"Lando?" I ask.

"You're in Brazil?" He repeats, he's tone not so light anymore.

I'm unsure what to say to him because I know exactly how this is going to look. I know exactly what he's going to think I've done. Who I've chosen.

"It's nothing" I beg.

And now suddenly the only place I want to be is home. How have I fucked everything up so badly?

"Lando?" I ask again as he remains quiet.

But then the line goes dead.

He left.

He always leaves.

Sliding the phone gently down the rest of my face, and letting it fall in front of me, I press hard on the side to lock the screen, fighting the urge to just launch it at a wall.

Turning my back against the railing, I let my body slide the length of it and crash myself to a seated position against it, feeling disgusted in myself. I felt like I was just pin balling at the moment, trying to grasp onto anything that felt normal and when nothing was, I'd shoot my self away in another direction, not caring what destruction I left behind.

I needed to collect my thoughts. Work out with the two boys what I felt for each one.

First there is Charles, the boy I remember a before with. Was there flirtatious moments between us? Probably but I never felt the need to rip his clothes off. And I knew he was always the one I'd talk to about my crush on Lando, besides Johan.

And then there is Lando, the boy I can't remember an in between with. The in between, that seems to be my biggest issue right now. But as Dr Armidale said, there's an in between with Charles I'm not aware of either, and I can't keep forgetting that.

When I'm with Lando, I feel.. something. And it's not something I'm able to describe. But I feel the butterflies. I feel the nerves, I feel the excitement. I feel like he's out of my reach yet right there in my grasp. And when I kissed him, for what felt like the first time for me, almost felt familiar.

The knock at my hotel door startled me, and when I look up to see Charles coming through the door, I open my phone and see that of course it's been the hour.

"You okay?" He asks as he moves toward me cautiously. Dodging the clothes strung all over the floor.

"Yeah sorry about the mess, was picking an outfit" I try and sound chirpy, but I can hear it, and he would be able to as well.

"You settled on pyjamas?" He asks, gesturing to my attire.

I gaze down just as he makes his final move toward me, standing right at the edge of my feet and looking down at me, "I hadn't changed yet"

Charles was dressed in a pair of black dress pants and a white button up top, his hair combed nicely. Even the outfit Johan and I did settle on was wrong.

It was all wrong.

"I'm sorry" I mumble.

Charles let's out a breath and turns himself down onto the floor next to me, I feel the barrier shudder when he pressed his back to it.

He reaches over and removes my phone from my hand, replacing it with his fingers, interlocking them with mine.

"What I said to you earlier, about not allowing you to love me, whilst you're still in love with him, hurts you know?" He confesses.

"What happened? You need to tell me" I whine.

He lets out a nervous breath, knowing he isn't meant to tell me anything. "You already know you and Lando were in love. That part has been made clear. But I'm not sure you're remembering how much he hurt you either, and I had to watch it happen"

"He hurt me?" I gasp.

"Not physical, Ev" he quickly confirms. "No, god nothing like that. Trust me, if he'd laid a finger on you he wouldn't be breathing now in your after"

I chuckle softly.

"Your relationship began not on the most honest of terms. He and Max were fighting for the world championship and Lando believed that if he could pretend to date you, then break up with you at the right time, he'd throw Max off his game, leaving the World Champion title to be his."

My lips part in disbelief. But I let him go on.

"Somewhere along the way though, he must have fallen in love with you for real" he shrugs. "I mean, how couldn't he?" He rolls his head to look at me.

"Anyway, the moment you two began is the moment you and I ended. As far as I'm aware, Lando didn't necessarily approve of you and I remaining friends, not when he could tell that I felt more" he admits, but I appreciate his honesty.

"When this season began, you and Lando just seemed different. The vibe was different, like the passion was heightened, and so was the toxic nature of your relationship. From what you told me, during our time in Florence, he would always leave."

He always leaves.

"But Ev, you stayed. Your love for him was so deep and pure, you would go back a hundred times over, even if you knew he was going to break you again. You loved him so hard, I know, even now, it's still in there. And whilst I know you and I will never be together whilst that fire is still in you, I'm selfish enough to hope."