𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬ⁿᵃᵈᵉⁿ

𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫

nessa

today is 1 year of die first. me, jaden, and nori went to coopers grave today to just say hi and so nori could talk to him since she never got the chance. she could see jaden and i was hurt so she tried to comfort us.

after that we went to coopers favorite place to eat and took nori to the park. while jaden is pushing her on the swing i tickle her stomach as she laughs.

i am so happy to have these people with me everyone that's in my life. tonight we are having a mini party with sab, bree, parker, nori, and jaden for the 1 year of die first.

so we go home and get ready. around 10pm they all show up and parker surprised me with a die first cake.

"oh my god thank u." i kinda say in a high voice hugging her. "it's no problem angel." parker hugs back.

"i love it." i smile. "yay cake." nori raises her arms jumping.

everyone laughs and jaden picks her up kissing her stomach and putting her in her highchair. he cuts her a mini piece of cake feeding her.

everyone says hi and talk for a bit. we put nori to bed after because it's already 1pm. for the thing we didn't go to crazy but sab made a video of cooper and everyone with my song over it.

as i watched it i could feel tears coming down my face as i watched it. i wish he was here to experience this because he even said it was his favorite song off my album.

i never thought i would have to lose my best friends and also my brother. i feel like a piece of me is gone and it hurts. but i'm happy i get to spend this moment with my friends and family. after that we have a singing night of singing die first, elevated heartbreak, and lie.

i am so very grateful to have these people with me. and im even happier they jaden had enough strength to listen to this for me. for me. i never thought when i was a kid he would be my soulmate and i would be here.

he was with me on your, helping me through my eating disorder, proposing and marrying me, and most greatest of all he gave me my baby. my other half, my one and only baby girl, a piece of my best friend. i wanted to name my child after coop because he means so much to me and nori means so much to me helping me and doing the best she can even tho she sees me and jaden struggle.

but im also lucky for the other people in my life mads, josh, kio, noah, blake, amelia, ect because i wouldn't be here today if they weren't here in a way.

i also love all my family even tho sometimes we don't get along im still lucky to have them. my mom especially. she will always be my number #1 fan. yes jaden isn't my first.

also yes i know it's a lot my best friends, my sisters, and my family parker, bree, evan, and sage. the reason this all happened and i never had a bigger family. when i moved to LA i was 17 and only knew josh. and now i've changed a lot and i'm so happy somethings turned out.

advice never take anyone for granted or use anyone cause u will lose the only people that love u for u.

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HAPPY ONE YEAR TO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SONG. THIS SONG HAD HELPED ME SO MUCH.