UNLOCKED - LANDO NORRIS [Book 3]

01

If there is one thing that I am sure of, it's that we were destined to be together. 

I've toyed with the idea of falling out of love with someone over the past few weeks. Begging myself to fall out of love just so I don't need to experience the excruciating pain of missing him. 

And missing him, had consumed by every thought. 

Truth is, he broke my heart when he left, but I've been struggling with the reality that I broke his too. 

The moment Lando walk out on me that day, I knew I had pushed him too far over the edge. I knew that my suffering was causing him copious amounts of pain and I was just expecting him to understand. 

But, I've been thinking that if the shoe was on the other foot, and I had all this love for someone who forgot about the connection we shared, then to hear they believe every moment of love shared between us was directed toward someone I already had trust issues and insecurities over, I'd be a mess too. 

"How would you define the biggest challenge you're facing right now?" Dr Armidale asks during our daily session. 

I roll my eyes at him in a scoff. Let's just say I hadn't been the easiest patient to deal with these past few weeks. "Frustrating. Annoying. Infuriating. Fucked up" I earn myself an eye for that last one. "Sorry" 

But the fact that Dr Armidale is looking pleased, leaves me confused. "What?" 

"You didn't say impossible" he points out and I shake my head. 

"Don't read into it" I warn. 

He chuckles, "Oh, its my very job to read into things missy, and you're no exception" 

"I'm not really feeling in the mood to discuss my feelings right now" I warn. 

"Tell me about Lando." He instructs. 

I shake my head and flinch in pain, "Don't" I plead. 

"Tell me how you feel about him." he continues to push. 

I shuffle over to the other side of the living room, getting stronger by the day. I've had nothing else to do so I've been upping my physiotherapy. I just want to get back to Johan and to Charles and my life in Formula 1. 

"It doesn't matter" I shake my head in defeat. 

"Of course it matters. All your feeling matter" he reassures me. 

My eyes roll again, as well as another earned scoff, "All my feelings have done is drive people away from me" 

"You keep talking to me about the before and then the after. Obviously the in between being the issue here. And our main focus has been about helping to dial out some of that in between. But I'd like to focus on the right now, for once." 

Shuffling into the kitchen, I take a fresh bottle of water from the fridge, gesturing to Dr Armidale if he wants one, to which he shakes his head. "Right now, I want to go to Brazil" 

"I can get that arranged if thats what you really want. You're strength training has been getting a lot better recently, I don't see why you couldn't go with a walking aid." 

He fills me with hope. When Lando left, Charles wasn't able to leave the track, nor was Johan. Both under contracts that didn't allow them to leave. And there was no way mother was going to come back here to sit with me, not when Max was so close to claiming the championship. 

"What I had with Lando was once in a lifetime, I blew it. He was right there in front of me. Waiting, and wishing, and begging for me to lean into the love. But I was so fixated on filling in the gaps, I lost him." I admit in defeat. 

"You don't believe in second chances?" he asks. 

And I shake my head, "Not like this" 

"Why?" he continues to push as I cross the living room again, getting used to the feeling of having sensations in my legs again. 

"Because, I want what is best for him, I really truly mean that, and... I just don't think that's me" I watch the realisation settle on him. "I need to go to Brazil" 

"What's in Brazil, Evelyn?" 

"I just, need to go to Brazil" I reiterate, checking my phone again to reveal another blank notification bar. I've been waiting for his messages every single day, they never come. 

"Is it Charles?" 

I give him a warning look. 

"Maybe you need to start asking yourself the question Evelyn, if there is something you're not admitting to yourself and maybe it's keeping you at this blockage" now he's making me mad. 

"I think your time here is done, Dr Armidale" I state. 

"No" he shakes his head, glancing at his watch, "We still have another 24 minutes" he mocks. 

"I want to be with Lando" I reenforce. 

He tilts his head at me, "I'm not so sure you do" 

"Are you joking me right now?" I tense. 

"I don't think you want to be with Lando" he restates, holding his arms out in defeat and paces in front of me. 

"Are you kidding me right now?" I shout. 

"If you wanted him, you'd be with him. You'd be asking me to figure out how to get to him. However, you're trying to run away to Brazil. To Charles. Because thats where you feel safe. Thats where you feel understood. News flash, Evelyn, you're still missing 18 months of information with Charles as well" 

The words hurt, but it infuriates me that he's right. Even a memory of Charles I wasn't able to locate to him. It felt the same and left me equally as touched when I awoke. There was a lot I wasn't able to place with Charles, nor did I understand the insecurities Lando felt between Charles and I. 

"I don't mean to be hard on you, but I do care about your wellbeing, and this hasn't been healthy. You need to stop blaming yourself, and blaming your situation for whats happening in your present. You've been unable to control your past, but you have full control over your future. It's time for you to control it." 

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Welcome to BOOK 3! 

I hope you love it here as much as I do. 

This will be the only chapter I release tonight, being the final book, I want to make sure I'm fully happy with the direction of each one before posting. This is just my opener :) <3 x x