!-𝔸𝕟𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕆𝕟𝕖-𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕥𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕃𝕖𝕞𝕠𝕟𝕤-!

14* (Younger) Kishibe x reader (g/n) - Not her (CSM)

DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON KISHIBE (GAWD DAMN🤩😩)

SUMMARY - You remind Kishibe too much of Quanxi :(

Kishibe pressed his face further into the crook of your neck, 'mmhm stay still' he grumbled, breathing lightly. His grip on your waist tightened as you heard him muffle more words into your neck. 'Quanxi...' he murmured, causing your blood to freeze. You had knowledge of your lovers past, being a public safety devil hunter, and especially his old working parenter, Quanxi. You knew that in a way or two you reminded him of her and that he had loved her but the feelings weren't reciprocated. The extent of his feeling for her and you though, is what had puzzled you.

Your resemblance to Quanxi was why he kept you close, why he was especially protective over you and why he didn't want to let you go. You both layed there, you tangled in his arms, and him holding onto you tightly. He would mumble her name a few more times, each time pulling you closer by the inch. You wanted to ask, but in the past when you tried, he would shut down your question almost immediately. You knew that he had loved her, but to what extent did he still? and how did you fit into it all?. Questions flooded your mind, you decided that today was the time when you would ask him.

There had been multiple situations were he called her name. From calling out to her in his sleep, calling you her name and even moaning out her name instead of yours during intimate moments.  You wanted to ask, you had too, so you would.

Getting up, untangling yourself out of Kishibe's arms, you walked softly into the kitchen, trying to not wake your slumbering partner. Slowly opening the cupboards, you pull out two mugs, one for yourself, and the other for Kishibe. Making yourself your F/D, you felt a pair if arms wrap around you. Kishibe leans his weight further on you, leaning his forehead on the back of your neck while grumbling something along the lines of 'mmm make a coffee while your at it will you?'. You nod, pouring him a cup of coffee from the freshly brewed pot. He grabs it, taking a sip, he still keeping one of his hands tightly around you. You pulled his arm off of around you, before turning to face him.

'You were saying her name again in your sleep kishibe' you said, taking a sip of your drink and leaning back onto the kitchen counter. He hummed in response, still sipping away at his coffee. You knew bringing this up would cause some issues, and it would blow up in your face, but you needed to know. 'Do you really have nothing to say? Kishibe? I know you loved her but seriously? first you calling me her name, then you saying her name in your sleep and then you moaning her name when we get intimate? please just talk to me' you say, trying to stay stern. He meets your gaze before pouring the rest of his coffee down the sink. 'I can't help who I love Y/N, I love you both, you need to understand that. You remind me so much of her, it's impossible to not think of her when i see you. You just need to deal with it.'he continued to grumble. This hurt, you knew that he loved her, but you also knew that she didn't feel the same, hell, she wasn't into guys. No matter what you did, or what you would say, he wouldn't listen. 'If you don't like it, you should leave'.

You stared at him, not believing what he was saying. Take it or leave it? is that what he really thought?. You asked if he was serious and he was, packing your bag you made one last remark, 'How would you feel if i moaned another's name? i dreamt about them? I called you them? hell, What if I was only with you because you reminded me of them?, you wouldn't like it, would you?'.

Your words struck a nerve, and he grabbed your wrist, pulling you to a standstill position. 'Don't you dare.. You wouldn't dare, You will never be Quanxi, you will never be as good as her' he said, visibly agitated. His words shocked you as you twisted your arm out of his grasp, but he in response grabbed both your hands and help them close to him. 'Im sorry. I shouldn't compare you to her. And I'm not only with you because you remind me of her' he muttered underneath your breath. You knew how hard it was for him to apologize, yet all of his apologies remained empty shells of what they meant and showed. 

You left his grasp, before continuing to pack your bags. He stood and watched you, his lover pack up their belongings and bare essentials into a backpack. A part of him knew what this could lead to, it was him being alone, without Quanxi and without you. He didn't feel any emotions towards your state. In the midst of it all, tears and started to well and run down your cheeks, which he had noticed, but left ignored. A small part of him loved you, but not enough to make you stay. he liked the physical affection, the type he wished and craved that he received from his old work partner, but you weren't her. He used you to replace the hole that was caused from her rejection, in which to him, you were just another person, someone that he in truth, didn't really care about. 

You finished packing your bag, as he stood in thought and watched on. His face displaying no sorrow or sympathy strung like a fresh wound was sliced through your heart, as it showed his true feelings. He only saw you as a reflection of her, and you finally started to understand everything more and more. Those moments when you were intimate, when you slept together or went on cutesy dates, all he was seeing was doing those with Quanxi. You were an acting replacement of what he couldn't have. 

Packing and leaving the house, kishibe stayed silent the whole time, either not knowing what to say, or not bothering to try and stop you. You fell for someone who mistook you as a copy of someone else, someone he couldn't have. It was time that you both accepted the fate that you couldn't fulfill the role as Quanxi, and he could no longer see you as her, as a wanna-be carbon copy which he wanted. 

You weren't her,  and he couldn't accept that in the end.

END OF CHAPTER 14

Word count - 1124