Buttercream's untold

Is this real, or a nightmare

You remember everything from the minute you were begging your mam to let you go to London to the foo fighters concert, to meeting joe and his friends, to being in joes house and his bed and kissing him trying to imagine if it was real or not, to then climbing out of his window when everything went downhill thinking you'd have to go home and never see him again to his sister's boyfriend and all of his mates chasing you through the park where you ended up on a boat on the lake then on a building almost loosing your life when it started to collapse to waking up tied to a chair in Zoe and Alfie's house to watching joe almost lamp Alfie...
You couldn't believe everything you'd been through
The last thing that happened to you last night was you admitting your love to joe and telling him how you really felt
He'd took you upstairs for a cuddle and you tried to fight your sleep but he told you not too and you listened to him
You awoke in panic
The sweat pouring from your body
Your heart rate incredibly fast
You felt nauseous
Your head pounding
You shot up at the nightmare you'd just had
You've not had nightmares in years and now you'd just had the worst one yet
Your eyes wet from crying
You checked the time and it was 3am
You could hear the clock ticking and everything was calm
Joe fast asleep beside you
You took deep breaths as you tried to calm yourself down but your head was doing overtime
You watched joe sleeping for a while as his chest rose and fell
He was cute when he was asleep
His hair flopped over his face
Small snores escaping his slightly parted lips
His soft lips that you loved the feel of against yours
You didn't want to disturb him or upset him anymore then what he had been tonight
You slowly and quietly got out of bed
Covering joe as you did it
You took one long last look at him and slowly left the bedroom closing the door quietly behind you
You walked across the hallway onto the landing and down the stairs into the kitchen
Everything was dark and quiet
Everything was calm
You rubbed your eyes as you were tired but you knew if you went back to sleep you'd just have another nightmare
Maybe you shouldn't be here, you don't deserve joe
You started to tell yourself you weren't good enough
Maybe you should leave
You could hear talking coming from the front room and now you were confused and questioning if you were still hallucinating
You slowly pushed the front room door but nobody saw you
You stood there for a minute and listened to the conversation
"She's so lucky you know, I don't know what the fuck joe sees in her" josh scolded
"You don't know her like we do man" Caspar retaliated
"I don't care there's something about her and she is definitely not good for joe"
"Joe loves her"
"And he's an idiot Caspar" josh spat
You felt your chest tighten and you felt sick to your stomach
Maybe josh was right and maybe joe was an idiot for liking you
"There is no way both of them went through all of this just for you to be this petty josh" Alfie joined in
"Oh shut up Alfie you're only defending him because of Zoe, you were the one that wanted to kill her and get rid of her so Joe didn't get hurt anymore! That's all she's going to do to him all the time is hurt him! And I am not going to sit here and let some ugly fake disgusting disrespectful delusional psychopath hurt our best friend anymore! If you want to sit by and let her ruin his life then go ahead but I will not do it I'm not having it" josh choked
You could hear the anger in his voice but you were wounded
You had just had a nightmare and came downstairs to this
You felt like you were still in the nightmare but you were awake now
You slowly opened the front room door all the way tears poured down your face
"If you don't like me josh tell me to my face not behind my back" you screamed
The horror from their faces said it all
Josh stared at you as his colour started to drain
"And don't ever call Joe an idiot again! It's you who's the idiot" you continued to scream
"Y/n please calm down" Caspar choked
"No Caspar I won't calm down are you all serious right now?" You threw your hands in the air and pulled on your shoes
"Where you going?" Alfie questioned
"Away from here and away from you"
You opened the back door and shut it with a slam
You'd probably just woke the whole house up but it didn't matter
You'd just been through hell and back, had a nightmare and woke up to joes friends slating you
The tears were streaming down your face and all you could tell yourself was that you weren't good enough
Maybe you should of gone home and not gone through any of this
Was it even worth it to you anymore?
Your sobbing picked up and you fell to the floor and cried
You'd stopped walking a while ago but Zoe and Alfie's garden was huge so you hadn't gone that far
Your head was hurting and you felt sick
You kept repeating the words over and over that you had stood and listened to
You knew josh didn't like you but you didn't know he hated you that much or Joe that much for that matter
You cried a little harder when you heard your name being called
You wiped your tears and slowly lowered your legs when you felt a hand touch your shoulder and you let out an almighty scream
"Y/n it's me it's okay it's oli"
You looked at him and he looked at you
He reassured you
"It's me" he spoke softly
"I'm so sorry for screaming oli, I'm just scared I had a nightmare"
"Aw I'm so sorry to hear that, are you okay?" He questioned softly
You shook your head no as your tears picked up again
Oli held out his hand and you put your hand in his
He rubbed your back softly
"If you don't wanna talk about it we don't have too but let's please get you inside we're all worried about you" he choked out
You nodded
You and oli walked back towards the house and now everyone was awake you could hear everyone talking in the front room
You kicked off your shoes and oli lead you to the front room
"It's okay I've found her" oli chimed
"Oh thank god are you okay y/n" Zoe questioned softly
You shrugged your shoulders trying not to look at Alfie Caspar or josh
That's when Joe pulled you into him
"It's okay love, I've got you" he spoke softly against you
You could feel your chest tighten and you pushed him off you slightly
He looked at you confused
"What's wrong y/n have I done something to upset you" he choked almost panicked
You looked from joe to Zoe to oli and you shook your head
"Talk to me please" joe pleaded
"Tell me what I've done so I can make it better" he choked
"Nothing Joe you haven't done anything" you replied
You could feel your blood pressure rising and you could feel your body going into rage mode
"Tell me what I can do to fix it please" joe blurted
"Nothing Joe" you screamed at him
The whole room was now looking at you
The colour had drained from joe
You felt like a horrible person
You should've gone home
You looked at joe and he looked away from you
You took deep breaths trying to calm yourself before you explode and that's when oli stepped in
"She had a nightmare" oli mumbled
"What was that mate?" Marcus questioned
"She had a nightmare and then walked in on people ripping into her" oli spat realising that he was now fuming
"When? What? Tonight?" Marcus choked
Oli nodded and replied with "yeah man she came to get a drink and heard people saying bad stuff about her and Joe after just having a nightmare, imagine how she's feeling"
Joe looked at you and then to oli before he stepped in to say "who?"
Oli looked at you and then at joe
"Oli buddy tell me who's been saying stuff" joe asked
"I'd tell you if I knew mate but I didn't get that far" oli replied
Oli looked at you and you looked at Joe who looked absolutely furious
"I'm gonna ask this once and once only" joe then spat
"Who's been saying stuff about me and y/n? I want to know and I want to know right now" he choked his anger rising
Joe looked at you as the room was still silent
"Y/n?" Joe questioned you
He took a few steps towards you and took your hands in his
"Tell me who was talking about us" he spoke softly
You looked from joe to josh to Alfie to Caspar and back to joe but you didn't need to say anything
"Alright" he choked
"What's your issue josh?" Joe spat
"I just don't like her joe!" Josh spat back
"We'll I don't like you right now!" Joe screamed
"Alright then that's fine let her upset you mate see if I care" josh screamed back
You could feel your chest tighten as josh and joe continued to scream at each other
Zoe was rubbing your back with one hand and holding your other hand with her other hand but you'd had enough now
You were exhausted and overwhelmed and the nightmare had scared you and your emotions were all over the place so this had to end right now
"For god sake will you both just fucking stop" you screamed
The room went quiet again
Zoe still supporting you
"I don't care what anyone thinks of me say what you want! Yes I had a nightmare and I am tired and I don't feel well and I was and am scared but please will you just fucking stop" you choked out
You took deep breaths as the tears started to roll down your face Zoe wiping them from your cheeks and still rubbing your back softly
"I'm sorry" josh spoke softly
"I didn't mean what I said I'm just worried that we're gonna loose joe as a mate" he explained
"What do you think I'm gonna do? I'm not like that" you choked out in frustration
Joe pulled you into him and held you as you were emotional and very worn out
"Let's get you back to bed yeah?" Joe spoke softly
"But what if I have another nightmare" you sobbed
"Then I'll be right there with you to fight it off for you babe" he hummed
"You should of woke me up the first time love, promise me you'll wake me up the next time you have a nightmare?" Joe pleaded
You nodded against him
"Good girl, let's go cuddle" joe suggested
You both said goodnight to everyone and joe lead you back up the stairs into the bedroom where he laid you down and wiped your tears he pulled you into him and rubbed your back
"I love you" he whispered softly
"I'm sorry" you choked back
"What for love?" Joe lifted your chin so your eyes met his
"For pushing you and screaming at you earlier I didn't mean it just know that I'm sorry" you sobbed and he wiped your tears
He shushed you softly
"It's okay love I don't love you any less"
He smiled at you before planting a soft kiss against your forehead
You smiled back at him before placing your head against his chest
He pulled to cover up over you both and held you tight and close to him
"I love you so much Joe" you spoke softly as you could feel the sleep taking over your body
"I love you more baby" he hummed softly against you as he played with your hair and rubbed your back keeping a tight hold of you
Your breathing got heavy and you didn't have any more nightmares after that simply because Joe was fighting them for you so you didn't have too