Buttercream's untold

Love me or hate me

You'd been lounging all day at the Jaspar residence
You'd had pizza and plenty of giggles here and there and you were now watching joe and Caspar editing videos
Both of them sat there with headphones on
Not a care in the world
You smiled at the thought of being around two of the most caring kind humans you've ever met
They took you in like you were their own
You couldn't believe that out of all the people in the world you were the one who made it to Joe and Caspars apartment
You were that lucky girl who met Joe sugg and you were in his house
This big YouTuber you watched on your screen you'd touched him you'd heard him speak in real life and you'd been in his bed how mad
You were pulled out of your daydream to your phone buzzing in your hand
It was a text from your mam
You'd been dreading that text
You didn't dare look
You took a deep breath looked at joe and Caspar for a second before you took your attention off them to focus on that text
You opened the message
*text from mam*
Y/n, I hope your time in London has been good! But all good things just come to an end! Me and your father are getting divorced and I need you back here! I can't afford for you to live over there on your own it's just too expensive I should of never of let you go to that stupid concert, this divorce is your fault! I hope you're happy with yourself and y/f/n tells me you're meeting up with random strangers what is wrong with you? Are you insane? You might get yourself killed don't ever ask me to go to London ever again! The second you step foot through this door is where you'll stay for the rest of your life as long as you shall live I've booked you a flight home tomorrow and I expect you to be at the airport by noon and if you do not get off that plane on the other side you will know about it. Do not waste my time, my decision is final so don't even try to convince me otherwise, see you tomorrow"
You felt yourself crumbled inside
You felt numb
You hurt
You didn't know if you were going to laugh, cry or throw up
Your mind started to race
You were never gonna see Joe again
You were never going to see London again
Everything was being ripped away from you in the blink of an eye
You couldn't tell them
Yet you had too
You didn't want to hurt them in the process of you being hurt so you had to come up with a plan and fast
You thought about all the different ways this could go
Shit
Fuck
Oh no
What now
Jesus Christ
This can't be real
This can't be happening
That's when you had a lightbulb moment
You can do this
Tell them you're going for a nap
And climb out of the window
They'll never know
Unless you fall and die or hurt yourself incredibly bad
Fuck it
Just do it
You got up off the couch and slowly made your way towards the staircase
Your mind working at a thousand miles an hour
"You alright love"
You nodded
"Yeah just gonna go to the bathroom and take a nap"
Joe laughed
"You and naps! Absolute nap queen"
You mumbled a sorry
"Is she okay man?"
Caspar asked
"Yeah man just going for a nap"
"Ahhhh I see"
You took a jog upstairs
Grabbed your backpack and stuffed all your stuff in as fast as you could
You opened the bathroom window and threw your bag out hoping you didn't break anything
Here goes nothing
You took a deep breath and shimmied out of the window almost loosing your step and breath
You steadied yourself and then remembered your shoes by the front door
No turning back now
You made it to the ground safely
You picked up your backpack and swung it over your shoulder
You sighed as the tears started to roll down your face
You had a long night ahead and you already didn't like where it was heading
You felt guilty
You felt sad
You felt angry
You got home and screamed
You screamed in pain
You screamed in horror
You just screamed
You sat there for a while
Reading conversations with Joe
Thinking about how you weren't going to get to see him or Caspar again
Thinking about how you'd never get to meet his sister
You'd make him look crazy
Like you didn't exist
You'd let him down
That's when your phone started to ring
Your mam
You watched it ring
But didn't pick up
Why would you
She was ruining your life
Taking you away from what you loved
Taking you away from Joe
You can't hide forever
You need to do this
You took a deep breath
You slid your finger across the screen and hit speaker
"Hello?"
"Y/n is that you?"
"Yeah it's me"
"You didn't reply to my text"
"I know"
"Why"
Why? Why did you want to reply to a text that was going to cut you in half and break you piece by piece
"I don't know I just didn't I'm sorry"
"I don't know why you're feeling sorry for yourself I just want you home, I want you safe"
"But I am safe! I'm safe here! I'm safe with Joe! And Caspar! I love it here and I don't want to come home"
You begged and pleaded only to relay the sentence your mam text
"My decision is final y/n"
"But mam, I won't be happy if I come home I don't want to come home I really am happy here why can't you trust me?"
You knew joe would look after you, you swore blind he loved you but you hadn't told eachother yet if only she would just see
"How can I trust that some guy you just met will look after you and take care of you? I don't even know him y/n"
"But I do! And I love him and I know he loves me too"
"Y/n are you sure?"
"Mam I promise I swear down on my life"
"Has he said you can move in with him?"
You were gonna have to lie like you do in bed but you were on a war path! You wanted to stay
"Yes! He's said I can live with him forever"
"Forever? Really? Do you really think you'll last that long"
"Mam I really do! He makes me so happy! I can't describe it to you"
"If you say so, I hope you're right about this"
"So you've cancelled my flight?"
"No, you're still coming home I want to see you and stuff first but you can go back in a week or so"
That's not too bad
"You promise?"
"Yes i promise I'll see you tomorrow okay?"
"Okay see you tomorrow"
You hung up
You didn't like where this was heading
But you had to have some trust if you wanted to stay here in London with Joe
Now you just had to explain why you climbed out of the window and why you've told your mam he's agreed on you living with him and his roommate but other then that you're fine
Or you thought so until your phone started to ring
"Joseph 💕 is calling"
Oh no here we go...