My Beautiful Boy ✔️

41

I shouldn't be here. As soon as I knew Alayna was safe in the hands of her parents, I should have gone home, got my parents, and got the one-way ticket to London. But, instead, I'm at the hospital, watching as Alayna's parents pace around the empty waiting room, her dad glaring at me. "What are you doing here?" He asks, when he finally noticed me leaning against the wall.

"Don't worry." I say quietly, crossing my arms over my chest. "I don't plan on staying long. I only wanted to say goodbye." I tell them, and Alayna's mum stops walking, staring at me.

"Why are you saying goodbye?" She asks, and I sigh, running my hand through my hair.

"I'm moving back to London with my family." I tell them, tilting my head to the right. "It's the best thing to do." I tell her, and she sends me a small, sharp smile before walking up to me and taking my hand into hers.

"Thank you." She sniffles. "For loving our Alayna. She deserved every ounce of it." She tells me, lightly pressing her hand to my cheek. "Rubuma fi yawm min al' ayaam, satajid buedukama albaed maratan 'ukhra." I have no idea what she just said, but I'm assuming that by the way her eyes softened, she said something complimentary.

"Thank you." I send her a sad smile before the nurse comes out, telling us that Alayna's still in a coma, but she's allowed visitors. I decided to give her parents some privacy before I went in.

Once they were re-seated in the waiting room, I cleared my throat and opened the door to Alayna's hospital room. She lay in the bed, her eyes closed and monitors attached to her. My breath is shaky as I approach her.

I hate myself for doing this to her. I hate myself for being the reason she's in hospital. I don't even know how they hurt her. All the nurse said was that she suffers from minor head damage and possibly emotional trauma, but they can't be sure until she's ready to wake up.

I sit on the chair beside her hospital bed, taking her cold hand into mine and kissing her knuckles. A tear slips out of my eye as I press my mouth to her palm. The calmness in her features sent a shiver down my spine.

"I'm sorry." I whisper against her skin, kissing each knuckle on her soft hand. "This is all my fault." I mumble, my eyes fluttering to a close. "I know you probably never wanna see me again, but I can't leave without saying goodbye." I bite my bottom lip to stop it from quivering. "I don't wanna do this, I really don't." I told her. I can only hope that she hears me.

Not once did I ever think that it would come to this. I never thought that to keep Alayna safe, I had to leave town. I'd have to leave her in a hospital bed, pack up and leave. I wish there was a way for me to tell her how I really felt, but if I did, it'd be so much more heartbreaking to walk away. And I can't take much more heartbreak.

Slowly, I stand up and lean over her, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "I love you." My voice breaks as I whisper into her skin, my heart cracking into a thousand little pieces. This isn't how I ever imagined telling her. It was supposed to be sweet and loving, not dark and broody.

Then, I walked out of her room. I'm closing the door behind me and I'm walking into the elevator and I'm leaving the hospital. I'm going to meet Leilana to give her an emergency number just in case anything happens to Alayna and she needs to tell me something.

We're at the park, and Leilana is fidgety. As soon as she sees me, she's on her feet in front of me. "Is everything okay?" She asks, and I slowly nod my head.

"She's alright." I told her. "Still in a coma, but she survived her head injuries." I tell her, and Leilana sighs a breath of relief. "Listen, I need you to do something for me." Then, I hand her a slip of paper with a phone number on it.

She hesitantly takes it, tilting her head at me. "What's this for?" She questions, moving her hair out of her face.

"If anything happens to Alayna, call me on that number. Don't tell her you have it. Just... keep me updated, okay?" I shrug my shoulders.

"You don't have to leave." Leilana says quietly, looking up at me. "It'll hurt her, you know that."

"I know." I shiver. "But, I'm doing what's best for her."

"You're a good guy, you know that?" She states, but I'm finding that very hard to believe. And it shocked me even more when Leilana stepped forward and hugged me. I was shocked as I took a step back before hesitatingly embracing her.

Her phone buzzes from her pocket and she pulls it out, staring down at the notification. Her mouth drops open. "Alayna just woke up, " She says. "I think I'm gonna go to the hospital." She quickly says, and I resist the urge to go with her.

I've said goodbye. It's time for me to leave. So, I watch as Leilana rushes off and then I walk home, as slowly as I can to saviour the feeling of the place I've recently called home. It's a nice town. but, it's time to go back to my life. Back to my old life.

My parents have finished packing their bags as soon as I open the front door. They are slipping on their shoes and it's silent as my dad storms past me, unlocking his car. He's loading the suitcases into the boot and we're all getting into the car, ready to go back to London.

It's the furthest I've even been from Alayna since we met. I'm not ready to let her go, but I have to. It's the best thing to do.