My Beautiful Boy ✔️

26

It's almost midday when I walk through college doors. Nerves ran through me as I remembered what I was planning on doing. My mind recalls the conversation I had last night with Alayna, and a small smile encases my face.

She came to college a little earlier than me, and I wasn't able to walk with her. However, I'm glad that I couldn't, because it gave me time to sort through my emotions and the millions of problems brewing in my mind.

I want Alayna more than I can actually process. I want her with me all the time and I want to stare at her for hours and not get bored, and I want to kiss her as passionately as we have. I also know the consequences of having her. She'll be in danger. Being around me is already a danger for her, and I would hate to make it worse.

She's already been threatened, and if I pursue something more with her... what position does that put her in? The only thing I can hope for is my parents pulling through and paying the debt they owe.

I knew that eventually, I couldn't ignore my heart. I couldn't hide away from her and distance myself from someone who is so beautiful and headstrong and understanding and kind. My heart tells me to find her and confess everything. Tell her everything about me and hope that she accepts me for who I am.

Alayna has a hold on me that no one else does. Her hands are around my neck and she's squeezing and I'm gladly letting her choke the life out of me. I see magic in her eyes, beautiful, light magic. Our little conversations mean more to me than she'll ever think. I hate the feeling of holding myself back from being with her because I'm scared of the damn consequences.

I've never craved attention. Not until she gave me hers and now, I yearn for more. The moment Alayna called me and told me that I was the most beautiful person she'd ever seen, I'd made my mind up. I'm not letting her go. Not any time soon.

So, I make my way to the classroom that she and her friends hang out in. It's lunch break right now, so I have time to shake away my nerves and sort through my words and my feelings.

Then, I'm outside the door and I'm walking in, looking around. I spot Alayna in her usual corner, her head leaning back on the wall as she sits cross-legged on the table. Sunglasses cover her eyes and I can't tell if she's spotted me, or not. I gulp.

Terror runs through me, but I shake my head and pull down my hood. Right at that moment, I could sense Alayna's eyes on me. She had sat straighter and I could feel her piercing gaze burning my skin.

Clearing my throat, I walk over to her. Her friends watch with confused looks as I stand opposite her, slowly lifting my shaky hand and taking off of her sunglasses. Alayna blinks multiple times, knowing that the last time we saw each other, we had kissed, and I had left her.

"What are you doing?" She asks, her eyebrows furrowing, and I swallow the ball of air in my throat. I glance at her friends as their eyes flicker from Alayna to me and back again.

"I wanted to apologise for... the other night." I nod my head, and Alayna's golden-brown eyes flicker all across my face. "I've thought about it, and... I was wrong, and stupid, and I realise now, that I can't stay away from you, Alayna." I admit, and her eyebrows raise in shock. I hear a fit of coughs behind her, but I ignore it.

Leilana is getting poked by Willow, but her focus is on me and Alayna.

"Also-" I clear my throat and look away.

"What?" Alayna asks, a smile almost breaking onto her face. Her eyes are wide with hope and I know I can't hold back now.

"I... I think you're really pretty." I say, quietly, and a grin breaks out on Alayna's face.

"You do?" She asks, and I nod my head quickly. My eyes land on her beautiful, big eyes, and her thick eyebrows and her perfectly sculpted nose and her plump, full lips and her bronze, brown skin. "So, what... what are you trying to say?"

"I wanna be with you." I answer, lifting my gaze to her eyes. Alayna's mouth slightly parts and I watch as she takes my hand in hers. I slowly take a step towards her.

"Are you sure? You know, I totally understand why you don't wanna be in a relationship, and you don't have to do this-" I stop her from talking by taking her chin in between my fingers and softly kissing her. Alayna gasps, and I realise that it's the first time I instigated the kiss. I smile against her lips.

Then, when I remember we have an audience, I move back, smiling at her. "I have to go, but I'll... see you after college, right?" I ask, and Alayna nods, her neck reddening a little. I quickly leave the classroom, leaning on the wall outside to catch my breath. I hear the questions that Alayna's friends have for her, and I smile at the fact that they didn't know about me. Like it's our little secret.

"You have a boyfriend? Why didn't I know about this?"

"I told you about Maxwell, and you've been keeping this from me?"

"It was Dawson?"

***

I'm leaning on the wall when I see Alayna approach me, her gaze on the floor. I grin as she gets closer to me, and when she looks up, a smile lights up her face. "Hi." She cheeses, and I find myself admiring her for a minute before I come to my senses.

"Hi." I replied. "You ready to go?" I ask her, and she nods her head. Then, she holds out her hand, and I hesitantly take it. We begin to walk down the alleyway, and Alayna is so close to me, that I think I might die from her proximity.

"Erm, it was really sweet, what you said to me this morning." Alayna says, looking up at me. I feel her squeeze my hand, and I breathe out quickly.

"I... you're welcome. It was something I needed to say before I regretted anything." I tell her, swallowing the lump in my throat. "I just... I don't wanna make this any worse for you." I admit, and Alayna sighs.

"Look, Stawarski knows you care about me. Otherwise, he wouldn't have threatened me." She stares up at me as we continue walking, leaving the alleyway. "What's the worst that could happen?" She shrugs her shoulders.

"He could hurt you." I state the obvious. "And, I'd never forgive myself if something happens to you." I tell her, but she only rolls her eyes.

"Nothing will happen to me. I promise." She grins, and I can't help but smile down at her beautiful, sculpted-to-perfection face. The laughable thing is I was scared as hell to want Alayna. Yet, here I am. Wanting her anyway.

In the middle of all my chaos, there she stood. Ready to fight all of it, hold my hand, and guide me through the darkness. In a lifetime of war, she gave me peace. She showed me colours I couldn't see with anyone else. When I met her, it felt like everything was going to be okay. She looked at me like there was something in me that was worth looking at.

"Do you wanna come over, tonight?" I ask Alayna spontaneously, looking down at her. "My parents aren't home, and we could... watch a movie and eat snacks till midnight."

"That'd be great." Alayna grins, and she starts to swing our arms as we walk down the street. I grin down at her, my heart fluttering.