𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐀 𝐏𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐨

𝟑𝟑

𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐝𝐲

𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐀

I stand staring at the figurine of Jesus infront of me.

I hate church.

Something inside me physically screams and claws everytime I've visited a church.

But for her I do it anyways.

Exhaling out the rust on my lungs I move to light a candle for her.

She loved candles.

Light pink scented ones especially.

"𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒐𝒏𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝒐𝒌𝒂𝒚? 𝑰𝒇 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒊𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒓𝒚 𝒖𝒈𝒍𝒚, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆. 𝑶𝒌𝒂𝒚?"

I close my eyes trying close the door to those memories.

God I wish I was the one who lost the memory.

"I miss you." I find myself whispering blinking the tears building in my eyes. "Just a couple more days and you will be free."

And just how many times I've said that over the last five years?

"Leah?" I turn to the voice of Maria standing their. "You came?" She smiles softly.

"It's no problem, I came to church for someone too." I return the smile both of us taking a seat at the pew.

"Yea?"

"For my sister." I find myself sharing not before making sure that Fox stalker isn't stalking us. "Can you uh please not tell whatever we talk about to anyone else?" I request since I'm sure wants me to do the same.

She smiles.

"If only you do the same."

"Ofcourse."

We sit in comfortable silence, the church is fairly empty today.

"So is your sister...." She trails off and I nod.

"It's been five years she is gone." I feel the lump in my throat choking me.

She turns her head towards me before placing her hand over mine. "You can unload the burden on your chest if you want to, it's only fair cause I asked you to come here today so that I can unload some of mine."

I fight the tears turning my eye red.

I don't cry easily.

I've mostly ever cried when I was a kid, when I had a kid, and a lot when I lost the only two persons I called my sisters.

One sister by birth.

One sister by some twisted fate.

Now both are gone.

At least the one I came here looking for is not the same person I had last seen.

I take a choking breathe.

"My sister, she was my twin, she was one of the most wonderful amazing beautiful kind-hearted genuinely giving person I had ever met. She had so much love inside her and she never cared about giving too much of it to people even those who didn't deserve her. She was a blessing in my life, the only ray of hope I've ever trusted."

I hate confrontations yet today feels good to get it out of my chest to talk about her freely.

It's been so long I talked about her even ages I've talked about my real sister.