12: Clear Air

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CHAN POV

After yesterday's events and having a dream about Y/N last night, I decided to take some time to clear my mind and go down to the waterfall since I haven't been in a while.

I grabbed my outfit and headed out. Once I got there I changed into my outfit and put on my mask. As weird as this looks, it takes everything negative off of me. It makes me feel like a child again like I shouldn't have to worry about anything. 

I don't like to explain why I do this to others, but feeling surrendered to the wild makes me feel better. I was always treated like an animal by others, I was left with scraps and ripped clothing to bare with. Although other's treated me badly, nature never hurt me. The water would provide me with liquid to drink and the trees and bushes would provide me with fresh food to eat. 

Nature was also quiet. It wouldn't yell at me or hit me. It would give me things to climb on and entertain myself with. It would give me beautiful views and peace. 

I like to think of it as bittersweet. Although I was treated not the best, I was introduced to the beauty of nature. 

I walked down the path, finally reaching the waterfall, I changed into my outfit. The bits of clothing only cover my private part and mask to shield my face from humanity. Walking into the familiar waters, I could tell that it missed me as much as I missed it. It has only been a few days, but I usually would come here every day.

I walk around in the waters until I feel the indentation in the ground that has started to grow from standing in the same spot every day. 

I gently take a breath inhaling everything I possibly could and then exhaling everything that was bothering me. I meditated for a few minutes just breathing in and out letting everything off my shoulders. 

I sat down in the water and then leaned back so that I was fully submerged. I would do this as a child in an attempt to put myself out of suffering, but the water always saved me. I always floated to the top, even after I passed out, I would always wake up.

I held my breath as long as I could before slowly coming to the surface. I walked over to the waterfall and stood under it letting the water fall on me. 

I couldn't breathe but it felt good. It felt good to panic and stress about something else. My skin started to turn red from the weight of the water. I closed my eyes and lifted my head letting the water soak my mask. 

Hearing my phone ring brought me out of my trance. I went to check it and saw that Lee Know had called me. I texted him saying that I was at the waterfall and would head back to the apartments. 

I gathered my things and threw on my clothes over what I had on. I walked down the path trying to figure out what to say to Y/n when she came over.

I knocked on the door letting them know that I was there ready to pick up Y/n. Lee Know opened the door to let me in, but I told him I would wait there because I was dirty from the waterfall.

Lee Know walked to the door with Y/n in his arms as I lead them over to my place. 

He walked inside and set her down on the couch making sure she was comfortable before coming to me.

" Alright, I'm going to go pack. I'll try to be quick and come back as fast as I can and do call me if you need anything or if she decides to be a pain in the ass," Lee Know said.

"Don't worry, you can take your time. I'm sure we will be fine for a few hours without you. And I will call you if anything happens," I replied.

"No, make sure you hurry up so that we can watch our show together," Y/n said. 

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