Light filtered through the blinds creating stripes against my closed eyelids. I squeezed them shut tight to block it out. Not yet. I'm not ready yet.
I could feel a presence in front of my face. Sixth sense. Don't know how else to explain it, I could feel the warmth, the fine hairs standing at attention on my face and neck. I carefully opened one eye, expecting the light to hurt.
I jumped a little as I squinted at the dark face.
Charlie?
Max.
"Oh!" I whispered in surprise. I took a breath, trying to calm my racing heart.
Jesus, a little warning would be great.
He must have crawled down here while I slept.
Max didn't wake though. He was still sound asleep. I never knew someone could look sad in their sleep, but he did. His face drawn, Eyes wet, chin crinkled.
An ache rose in my chest for Charlie. We both yearned for the same person, just in a different way. I felt selfish crying over Charlie, when his brother was probably hurting so much more. To have someone by your side for twenty years, then they're just gone in the blink of an eye.
I found myself wanting to hug him again. But this time it wasn't because I wished he was Charlie. I found myself reaching out with one finger to trace the side of his face. They looked extremely similar until you were this close. You could see the difference, blatantly. Max had a much squarer jaw line, a longer forehead. And his lips were a shade lighter than Charlie's. His brow was thicker as well, and his features weren't as open as his twins.
It was in this moment, I wondered why I hadn't been closer to Max. I know we "lovingly" teased each other, but we never really became friends. He was just Charlie's brother; and that was it. Now, I wished we had been. Had I known him, I could have comforted him better.
The smell of alcohol still clung to him, his hair matted down on one side from sleeping. The collar of his maroon jean jacket was popped, so I folded it down, patting it.
"Ahem." I jumped a little in my skin. It didn't come from Max. I turned over on the floor to see Derek awake.
"I almost forgot you were here." I mumbled, not wanting to wake Max. "Wha- I forgot to ask, what were you doing here... last night?" I questioned, realizing that I never thought it was weird that Derek was in my bed last night, and comforting me about my nightmare.
"Checkin' on you." He said quietly, his eyes cast down, before sweeping up my face to lock onto my eyes. I felt a flutter in my gut, from his striking gaze. Then I hated myself. I resented Derek. I resented having any sort of feelings for anyone other than Charlie.
I pushed myself up, leaning back on my hands, gazing down at Max a second more before getting up. I grabbed a fresh set of clothes and walked into the bathroom to change.
Fresh clothes felt good, soft on my skin; one's I hadn't sweat in. Looking at myself in the mirror, all I could see were a pair of tired green eyes staring back at me, unblinking. The rest of my face seemed to fade away from them, my eyes. Ghostly, I believe, is the word that comes to mind.
Faint voices enticed my ears, he was up. I didn't bother brushing my hair, I quickly knotted it up into a side braid, then pushed through the door.
Max was sitting up on the edge of my bed, talking with Derek. I paused at the door, watching them, before they turned their attention to me hushing up on what they were discussing.
Max blinked up at me under wet lashes.
"Someone dropped me off?" Max asked me quietly.
"Oh... uh, Ranger did." I responded carefully. Max raised his eyebrows expecting more. "He's sort of a friend." I tried. That didn't sound right. "He saw you at the bar last night, I guess."
"You got any aspirin?" He asked.
"Ye-yeah. One sec." I turned and fumbled with the mirror/door. I felt like I was walking on eggshells around him. I didn't mean to treat him this fragile, lord knows I hate it too. But I just couldn't see him differently now.
Before I could hand the pills to Max, another knock sounded at the door.
"Ugh." I rolled my eyes, exasperated. What now?
I spun on my heel and reached for the door. The second the lock disengaged, the door swung open pushing me back a step, before suddenly being wrapped up. I glanced down, two spindly looking arms were wrapped around me semi-tightly, and perfectly curled, black hair was in my face.
Dainty hands gripped my upper arms, now holding me at a distance. Big brown eyes looked at me seriously, then softened. Savannah. I didn't think we were this close.
"I heard about your 'Situation'. I'm so so sorry. What can I do? Anything? You know what will help? A pedicure. We need some spa time ASAP." Before she could continue, I spoke up so it couldn't possibly get any more embarrassing in front of the boys.
"Sav, hi." The hand holding Max's pills, reached up and tucked a stray chunk of hair behind my ear, only for it to fall forward again. "I don't really have any time, I'm sort of..." I glanced back to Max. There was a sudden slapping sound and a sting that followed, and the two pills fell to the ground rolling in opposite directions. "Wha-" I started.
"Scarlett! There are other healthier ways to manage grief. This is not it!" She scolded. I internally sighed, wanting to shout at her to just get out.
"That's aspirin," I laid a heavy look on her. "Was aspirin." I looked down at the pills. I went back into the bathroom to get two more. Max was still waiting.
"Oh, oops." Savannah brushed it off. "Ranger told me what happened, so I just rushed right over." She paused and looked at Max. "Is that... his brother?" She whispered to me from behind her hand. As if that suddenly made it a private conversation.
I could only imagine the look on Derek's face. He must be really enjoying this. He knew I had no girlfriends, which in turn meant I did not... absolutely not, speak girl. Whatsoever.
"Yes. It is." I exaggerated the look, widening my eyes at her. The pill bottle rattled as I pushed the cap back on, and brushed past her to get to Max. I slapped the pills down in his hand, as he managed not to have a reaction to girls gone wild over there.
"Can you spare her for a couple hours, boys?" Sav spoke past me, faintly meeting Derek's and then Max's eyes. I turned beet red, I could feel the heat against my face and I didn't dare look at either of them.
Just then, another knock of my door. As if there already weren't enough people in my very small dorm room.
"Ugh, come on." I enunciated as I slouched towards the door.
"I got it!" Savannah chipped, and practically fluttered to the door. She swung it open, bright faced, ready to greet whomever it was.
To my surprise, a familiar face appeared behind it. Tyler. My Tyler.
"Hey... oh." His voice changed laying eyes on Savannah. They quickly turned flirty to my distaste. "And who might you be?" He rested his arm against the door frame, leaning towards her in interest. His eyes sparkled, and his mouth was turned up into a quirky smile.
"Ew," Savannah retorted. "Fetus."
Rolling my eyes, I stepped up to the door frame and grabbed Tyler's shirt, tugging him into the room.
"Get in here." I uttered. Sav stepped aside as I drug him past her.
"Talk to him." I said numbly, placing him in front of his brother and Max.
