Life's Second Chances

Six

"There isn't anything more that I would want than to be with you right now. I always knew you were it for me, my end all be all. But my life has changed a lot since we first started dating and I can't have a future with you anymore even as much as I would want one, I just can't,"

"What's changed? Is it how you feel about us being together?"

"No, absolutely not. My feelings neither have nor ever will change for you, Anuksha. I don't want to hurt you and that's why I had to let you go," the strong hold of his gaze peers through the soul of my current existence, in a silent cry for help but the stoic man that shields the screaming heart muffles its cries.

"Sidharth, love is NOT being with someone when it's convenient and leaving when things get tough. If something is happening in your life, you know you can tell me; we'll work through it. Every couple goes through rough patches, you don't end a relationship over it,"

"That's the thing though, this isn't about our relationship its something beyond either of our control and I don't have it in me to see what being with me will do to you. I can never do that to you," he shakes his head removing my hand from its grip on his arm.

"When two souls are connected distance, time, pain, none of it matters. You can walk away from me but there's still a part of me that'll always be with you. Love doesn't change, it amplifies and grows stronger come what may, pain, happiness, death or life, it'll be there," my eyes fall to my lap as my fingers tug on the hem of my dress.

"You're right but some types of love are so poisonous it strips away at every bit of light you have in your life and that's what being with me will do to you,"

"If loving you is poison I'll pick a death from consuming it, over living a day without it,"

"I've already picked for you, and I'm choosing to walk away with beautiful memories of a wonderful time together, nothing to stain those moments we shared," I gather the courage to look up from the floral print of my sundress up to his glowing brown eyes. The sun filters through his long lashes bouncing around the deep brown irises of his eyes, a light gleam trickles in his pools of chocolate and for the first time since we've spoken today the raw hurt and pain he's so effortlessly concealed away in the deepest confines of his chest are on full display.

"They were stained from the time you didn't trust me enough to love you through this difficult time in your life. Stains can be removed but wounds leave scars and believe me, the one you left me with is still bleeding,"

"It will stop eventually but if we were to stay together it would bleed you dry. An inflicted wound when you're younger heals faster, but as we age after having endured countless others the body is too exhausted to mend,"

"Sometimes the sacrifice is worth it," I rise from the bench, clearing my throat of the heaviness in my voice. "You know where to find me when you're ready to tell me what's going on. I'm afraid that sometimes the heart wants what it wants and you might have made your worst mistake yet by telling me all of this today," I bend down kissing him lighting on the cheek and stepping away. My eyes linger on our initials engraved on the back of the bench in Sid's bold carving. He catches my trail of vision and turns his head to look at the letters.

We both found the park in his minimalistic appeal very peaceful. It's not too far from Sid's penthouse here in the city. Most of our dates started or ended here and I know it felt right to make our last memory together here but it hurts. Looking around at the tall oaks we walked by countless times, the playground where he fell off the swings, the small field where he played soccer with a little boy, and the bench we claimed as ours, it's a bitter feeling to know we'll never be here together again.