The Police Officer and The Addict // destiel AU

Chapter Twenty-Three

My vision is black. I can't see anything, just hear the sound of cars flying past me. What is happening? Where is Cas? Is he okay? Am I okay?

Soon, I hear police sirens and I struggle to gain my vision back. Soon, though, I do and I blurrily see a man walking up to me. "Dean, you know better. Have you not learned your lesson?" He says and my stomach drops. That's Cas.

I can't speak. I can't. All of that. Was it all in my head? Every second of every day I dreamt of? That can't be true. What is going on?

The next thing I know, I'm in the front seat of Cas' cop car and I'm sobbing hysterically. This cannot be happening. I have to be dreaming. I bring my hand up to my face and I'm met with a long beard. I cry even harder. How was that all fake?

"Dean, what's wrong?" Cas asks me, driving me to the hospital probably.

"Nothing, fuck." I yell. I can't believe this. I can't do it. I'm going to throw up.

I roll down the window and stick my head out, throwing up all down the side of Cas' car and the highway. I sob throughout it and think about jumping out of the moving car for a minute. Cas eventually pulls me back in the car and rolls up the window saying that it's cold outside.

He takes me into the hospital after fighting with him about it. I'd rather die now then get better. I can't live my life like this. Not without Cas in my arms all throughout it.

The IV pours stuff into my veins and then we're leaving the hospital. This time, instead of taking me to his apartment, he brings me into the station and I sob harder. Where did my Cas go?

"W-Will you stay? Please?" I ask, walking into the cell that Cas unlocked for me. I'll only be here 24 hours, then after, I can go get clean and prove to the real Cas that I'm worth it.

"Sure, Dean." Cas says, sitting with his back against the iron bars. I sit on the other side, my back against his, still sobbing. I can't believe none of that was real. It felt so real. The wedding, Sam's wife, me and Cas, Estelle, John.

All of it.

After hours of crying and gasping for air, Cas goes to stand up and I reach for him through the bars, "I have to use the bathroom. I'll be back, I promise." He says and I nod, letting him walk away.
When he's gone, I think about using the bedsheet to try and end it, but if I do that, I'll never get to be with the real Cas. When Cas comes back, he sits back down and I stop crying.

"Do you want to talk about it, Dean?" Cas asks me and I shake my head, leaning it back onto the iron bar and banging my head against it, trying to stop the tears that insist on streaming down my cheeks.

"C-Cas." I say, him humming in response. "I'm going to get clean." I declare, Cas smiling at me through the bars.

"That's great, Dean." Cas says, genuinely happy.

"And when I do..." I start. I don't know how the real Cas is since everything was fake, so I don't even know if he likes guys in the real world, but I'm going to ask this anyways. "Will you go on a date with me?" I ask and Cas smiles brightly.

"When you get clean, yes, I will. I bet you'd be an enjoyable date." Cas says and I smile widely. I don't even know the real Cas, but if he's anything like the Cas in my head, I will love him as much as I loved him in my head.

"I promise you, I will be. I won't let you down." I say, slumping over and falling asleep quickly while tears still ran down my face. I can't believe that it wasn't real. In my dream, I see John taunting me with the fake Cas, laughing in my face. I wake up immediately pissed off and I see that Cas has left at some point.

When they release me the next morning, I walk my way to a rehab center and resist the urge for drugs on the way. I can't let myself do anything like that again if it causes me this much pain. Maybe the Cas in my head was right, maybe fate did bring us together. Fate is what's going to help me get clean.

Months and months of rehab go by, me struggling with depression and paranoia along the journey. I haven't spoken to anyone outside of the rehab facility since I self admitted myself even though I can check out whenever I want to.

Eventually, the day comes where the group leader pulls me aside and tells me that I can handle myself better than he can, and he was never an addict. I say my thank yous, goodbyes, and I hug the friends that I have made along my journey. When I check myself out, they give me a chain necklace with a dog tag type of pendant that says

"Congratulations, Dean. We hope the best for you and we all love you so much. -your staff family at Helpful Hands Center"

I smile and slip the necklace with the dog-tag around my neck, not planning on taking it off ever.

I find myself at a phone booth, calling the police station. When they pick up, I don't recognize the voice on the other side of the line, so I say, "Is officer Novak there?"

They reply with a confused conformation and I ask them to send him to where I'm calling from. They don't ask any questions which I think is weird, but I guess it worked.

I inspect myself in the reflection of the window from the old phone booth. My face is shaved, revealing my freckles and smooth skin, I've thickened up, having food for months provided for me, and I look insanely nervous. I haven't seen Cas in months, and I really hope he'll let me take him on that date.

When I see a cop car rounding the corner, I step out of the phone booth with a deep breath. Cas parks the car and gets out of it, smiling widely.

"Dean? Is that you?" He asks and I smile back at him.

"Yep, I'm all clean, Cas. So how about that date?" I ask, and he smiles, blushing. He nods and that's all I need, I'm going to be just fine.