The Police Officer and The Addict // destiel AU

Chapter Five.

The next few days and weeks were terrible. I was constantly looking for a way to get drugs without Cas knowing, but somehow, he always knew. He's kept me clean for the past two weeks, and I think I'm getting better. 

Today, well tonight, Cas is going back to work. He's been using his vacation time to stay at home with me and I feel awful about it. He shouldn't have to do this. He doesn't have to. But he keeps insisting that it's fine. 

It's been a good, quiet day so far. Just me and Cas were watching TV and then Cas went to sleep at around lunch time since he works a 12-hour shift tonight. From 7PM to 7AM. I've learned that his hours are basically hell. I don't know how he does it. 

I've also realized though that I'm kind of catching feelings for Cas... I hate it and I know it's wrong, but I can't help it. He's been so helpful and patient with me. He's just so caring and adorable and he's such a good cook. He'd never like me though, so I know it's just a stupid crush that I have to get over. 

Cas walks through the living room, where I am, in his uniform. He looks delicious. "Dean, are you sure you'll be okay here alone tonight?" Cas asks me and I nod quickly, muting the TV. 

"Cas, I've already told you, you've taken so much time off for me and you need to go back. I'll be fine, I'm just gonna watch some TV, maybe read some, and go to bed. I'll be okay." I assure him, definitely not checking him out. The dark blue uniform with the little utility belt that has his gun on it wrapped around his waist does him justice. His eyes are practically glowing. 

"Okay. If you need anything..." Cas starts, but I cut him off.

"I know, I'll call you. I'll be fine Cas. Don't worry." I say, holding up the cheap flip phone that he bought me after a week of being clean as a 'congrats! You're not as fucked up as you were' gift. Or at least that's what it felt like.

"Okay, goodbye Dean, I'll be here when you wake up." Cas says, patting me on the shoulder awkwardly as he makes his way to the door. As he walks away, I stare at his ass in his tight pants. God he's literally beautiful.

On a different note, this is the first time I'm going to be alone in almost three weeks. I have to stay occupied. Once Cas is gone and I hear the door lock, I unmute the TV and watch some movie for about an hour before I find myself clawing at my arm. Fuck. 

I stand up and grab some water, sipping it, trying to calm down and it kind of works. It's weird. This used to happen, and I'd just take something else and mask it, but now, all the bruises are healed up and all that's left are the red scratch marks I'm making. 

When I drank all my water, I decided to call Sammy. I haven't talked to him since the last time I got arrested. I grab my flip phone and dial his number that I somehow remember. He picks up with a formal, "Sam Winchester." Probably expecting a client. 

"Hey Sammy." I say, smiling to myself. I miss him a lot. 

"Dean? Where are you calling from?" Sam asks, sighing, obviously thinking that I've been arrested again. 

"A little outside of Boston." I reply, trying to figure out how I'm going to explain to him how the past few weeks have been. 

"I'm on the way." Sam says, sighing. 

"Wait! No!" I say and he goes silent. 

"What?" he asks, confused. 

"I'm not in jail. I'm actually two weeks clean." I say, smiling to myself. I'm so glad I can finally say that. 

"What? Clean of what?" He asks me suspiciously. 

"Everything. I was so fucked, Sammy. I'm so sorry I put you through that shit." I say, tears coming to my eyes. I haven't talked to Sam sober in a very long time. 

"Dean, that's great!" He says, happily, letting out a laugh. "How? Did you go to rehab?" Sam asks, genuinely happy for me. 

"No, actually. So, it's kind of weird. There's this one cop in Boston who always took good care of me when I was crossed or high and being arrested, and one night I was completely fucked. He took me to the hospital, and I got fluids and for some reason he refused to take me in. He asked me where I was living and I told him at the park, so he took me back to his place and helped me get clean. He's been so helpful Sammy, and I can't wait to see everyone at Maria's wedding." I explain, happily. It's just amazing being clean and able to have full conversations with my brother after years. 

"That's great, Dean. Can I meet him? You should bring him as your date to the wedding!" Sam says, knowing me more than I know myself. I've talked to him for ten minutes and he can tell I have a tiny crush. 

"It's not like that. We're not together." I say, my heart dropping. I wish, but no. 

"Well, you seem like you like him a lot. You should ask him anyway. I really want to meet the guy who helped you through that. I know it must've been terrible." Sam says, understandingly. He never turned on me because of the dr-gs, my parents did, but he was a good brother and stuck by me. He saw all the shit I went through in the past five years; he knows how it was. 

"I- I guess I do, but it wouldn't work. He's a cop, and I'm just some recovering addict who has a long ass criminal record." I say, disappointed. I could ask him to come to the wedding, but I wouldn't ask as a date. 

"Yeah, but that was your past. You're a different person, Dean and I can tell by a ten-minute phone conversation with you." Sam says and I smile again. He always knows how to reassure me. 

"Yeah... I don't even know if he likes guys though." I say, putting a hand in my hair that I'm letting grow out a little. It looks good right now, and I have a little stubble, but no beard. It's good. 

"Well, tell him you do and ask him if it makes him uncomfortable and he might tell you he does too. Either way, you should bring him to the wedding even if it's not as a date." Sam says and I nod, forgetting he can't see me. 

"Yeah, I'll do that." I speak. "I think I'm gonna go order some pizza, I'll talk to you soon, Sammy." I say, smiling. I'm so happy I can talk to him like normal again. 

"Okay, talk soon, Dean. And hey," Sam says before I hang up. I hum, saying 'yeah?' "I'm proud of you." He says and I smile widely, tears coming to my eyes. 

"Shut up bitch." I say, letting tears run down my cheeks. We used to call each other that shit all the time as kids. We haven't in a long time, though. 

"Bye, jerk." Sam replies, as he used to when we were kids. I smile and wipe away my tears as I hang up. Maybe I should ask Cas about coming to the wedding...