In Love With A Good Man

Chapter 11: Intrusive Thoughts

Something was wrong with Casey.

For one reason or another, he wouldn't tell her what was bothering him. She could tell; ever since they had that conversation while driving home from the video shoot 2 days ago, he was acting off. He was still being sweet to her, but he also seemed to be distancing himself somewhat.

Every time she brought it up to him, he just shook his head and denied it. Or he would change the subject, hiding behind the excuse that he was just "in a mood". But there was something else – something that he was neglecting to share.

Well she was done waiting for him to come out with it on his own.

What she really wanted to do was grab him by the shoulders and shake him until he finally said what was on his mind. But instead, Harley forced herself to take a calmer approach. She entered into his office room where he was working on his computer.

"Baby?" She knocked on the door frame. Casey looked over and removed his headphones when he saw her coming in.

"Hey, babe. What's up?" He asked.

"We need to talk." She said, entering the room fully. Casey nodded and gestured to another chair in the room.

"Sure. Come sit." He invited. Harley took the chair and brought it up close to him before she sat down.

"I'm not tryna pester you, baby, but you gotta tell me what's going on. You're pushin me away, and you look really sad. You've had this long face ever since we left that video thing. Did I do something wrong?" She asked.

"No, no, baby. I'm sorry if I've been acting off. I've just...been processing some stuff. It doesn't have anything to do with you." He said.

"Can't you tell me? Please? I want to understand so I can help. We're a team, remember?" Harley said, referring back to what Casey had said to her in the car. He nodded and chuckled dryly to himself.

"Yeah...yeah. Uh...well, I guess I'll just come right out with it," Casey decided.

He seemed to be talking himself into working up the nerve to say what he wanted to say. He was avoiding eye contact, looking away and tilting his head down. He pulled one foot up to his knee and wrapped his hands around his ankle. Casey's body language was making it clear that this was bothering him a lot.

Then the question came.

"Harley, how many people have you slept with?" He asked.

The question immediately made Harley blush. Why did he want to know that?

"Including you?" She asked.

"Sure." Casey answered with a shrug.

"4." She answered. Casey's eyebrows furrowed at this. Was he upset? Was he angry?

"Hmm...okay. That's actually less than I was expecting." He commented.

"Yeah...I had a bad habit of picking either jealous guys or guys that just didn't care. And I was too stupid to break it off when I should've. Either way, none of 'em ever treated me as good as you do." Harley said, wanting to make it clear that her past didn't influence her feelings for him.

"Well that's good to know," Casey said, swiveling his chair back and forth before turning back towards his desk. Harley stared at him worriedly.

"Were you...only ever with your ex?" She asked. She vaguely remembered Casey mentioning something about an ex-girlfriend that evidently meant a lot to him, but other than that he would never really go into much detail about his past.

"Uh...I mean there was one girl before that. And then you." He answered slowly.

"I see." Harley nodded in understanding.

"Yeah. So like, I don't know why it's bothering me so much, thinking about you with creeps like Joker. Or just other guys in general. It's dumb." Casey chuckled ironically, resting his forehead on his hand and groaning. He seemed to be disappointed with himself for feeling this way.

"It sounds like you're not used to being with a girl with more experience." Harley observed.

"Guess so," Casey shook his head and scoffed. "I don't know. I guess I just didn't think things would end up so complicated. This has nothing to do with you, by the way. You're fine, you're great. I guess it just kinda hit me a little harder the other day." He said, holding his hand out towards her as he reassured her.

"What do you mean?" Harley asked, reaching forward and holding his hand in hers. He brushed his thumb over the back of her hand.

"Uh...I don't know how to say it. I guess I've just had a pretty bad track record with relationships too. I really do want this to work, it's just thoughts in my head winding me up and getting me down." Casey said.

"Yeah? I get that too, but mine are more like voices instead of thoughts." Harley said.

"Gotcha...I told my mom about you yesterday." Casey brought up. Harley's head went back a little in surprise.

"Really? Let me guess, she hated me?" Harley asked with a little chuckle. Casey reached over and picked up his phone from the desk.

"Well, I sent her a selfie we took together and she had this to say..." He pulled up the text message and read it aloud, "'She's very pretty, but she looks like trouble. Just be careful, son. Love you'."

"Well, can't say she's wrong." Harley smiled sadly and shrugged her shoulders.

"Yeah," Casey sighed, speaking barely above a whisper as he set his phone back down. Then he spoke in a normal tone again. "Well, it doesn't change my mind, it just sucks, I guess."

"It doesn't change your mind?" Harley asked, rubbing her arms. The way that this conversation was swaying was making her feel like he was getting ready to break up with her again. But Casey shook his head.

"No, I still want to be with you. No one's ever gotten this close to me so quickly...I just get my doubts. The way it usually goes, my girlfriends are all very excited and lovey in the beginning, and then the longer the relationship goes on, it fades until they eventually leave or cheat or both." Casey explained.

"Is that...what happened with your ex?" Harley asked slowly. Casey pressed his lips together and nodded.

"Yeah...she wasn't just an ex-girlfriend. She was an ex-fiance." He revealed. Harley's eyes widened.

"You asked her to marry you?!"

"Yyyep. She actually said yes at first," Casey said, tapping his fingers on the desk and turning completely towards his computer again. "She ended up changing her mind without telling me. She cheated, left, all that fun stuff. She actually lives somewhere here in Gotham, last I checked." He revealed.

"You're kidding." Harley shook her head in disbelief.

"Yeah, that's why I tried to keep from moving here for so long. Then when I did move, I run into you almost immediately...it's just a lot for me to process is all." He let out a breathy, tired chuckle. Harley got up and leaned over him, wrapping her arms around him.

"Are you okay, baby?" She asked. Casey closed his eyes and leaned against her.

"Yeah. It's been a long time. I'll be alright...you give me everything I want anyways." He said.

"I do?" She asked, looking down at him.

"Yeah...if I had gotten married, this is what we would've been doing anyways – living together, eating and sleeping together, working as a team. It's really all I've ever wanted out of a relationship." He said, looking up at her. She smiled gently at him and stroked his cheek.

"It's all I've ever wanted too." She said softly.

"Then I think we'll be good." Casey said in reply, managing a smile.

Seeing Casey smile for her despite the emotional pain that he was feeling was enough to make her want to cry. She could really see in his eyes that he loved her, and she definitely loved him too. There was no doubt about that now.

She leaned down and gave him a kiss. He kissed back without hesitation...